6 Things Women Who Project Confidence Do That Other People Don’t

We all know a woman that positively commands your attention. You easily pick up on her vibe and can tell she’s not interested in things that don’t serve to better herself or those around her. She seems to have found the magical mix of authenticity and professionalism, vulnerability and toughness. There is just something about her that draws people in. 

That something is confidence—true confidence that demonstrates a high regard for oneself and others.  

The great news is that you can build your self-regard and confidence. It may start with simply choosing a few different behaviors, but once you begin to turn those behaviors into habits, they will shape your self-perception and the perceptions of others. Here are six things confident women do—that you can do too. 

1. They pay attention to word choice.

The words you use have a direct connection to how you are perceived. They indicate the level of confidence you have in your contributions. Monitor the words you choose to ensure they represent you in the way you want.

Say “I recommend” instead of “I think” when you know the subject. Sometimes it feels more comfortable to say “I think” because psychologically, it protects you from being judged by others who might have a different perspective. In reality, you may often have knowledge, expertise and experience that give you the green light to make a recommendation.

Replace “can’t” with “won’t.” The word “can’t” indicates a lack of ability, while “won’t” indicates a choice. People with confidence believe in their abilities and power of choice.

Replace “why” with “help me understand.” The word “why” not only puts others in a defensive state but also brings an undertone of judgment—both of which do not contribute to confidence. Continuing to learn and uncover the “why” is smart and beneficial. When you say “help me understand,” you indicate you are open to learning and show interest in the other person's perspective.

2. They hold space for others.  

It takes intention to hold space for others. As humans, we are wired for connection. One of the ways we connect is by sharing our expertise, stories and experiences to relate to others. People with confidence know how to create and hold space for other people to contribute. They are mindful to not dominate interactions. Confidence comes from within and is not subject to the amount of attention or approval you receive from others. Confident people do not feel the need to be the center of attention, the smartest person in the room or the one with all the ideas.    

3. They establish and uphold boundaries.  

Engage in activities and interactions that fulfill you. Don’t feel guilty when it comes time to guard against activities and interactions that deplete your energy. Your time and energy are all yours. When you are deciding how to spend it, ask yourself, “Am I doing this for me because I want to, or am I doing this so someone will like me?” Confident people unapologetically own their energy and do not succumb to outside pressure to engage in things that do not serve them.

4. They set their internal soundtrack.  

Scientific studies prove there is power in positive thinking. Positive thinking also includes what you think about yourself and how your self-talk sounds. People with confidence have an internal soundtrack that is encouraging, compassionate and optimistic. They don’t overthink interactions or talk down to themselves. If what you are thinking is making you feel bad, worried or insecure, make an effort to change your soundtrack and talk to yourself like you’d talk to your best friend.   

5. They protect their time—without remorse.  

Time is one thing you cannot get more of. Confident people are hyper-aware of this and protect their time accordingly. If the meeting isn’t the best use of your time, don’t take it. If you’re not making progress in a business conversation, kindly say, “I want to make sure you get what you need from me. What might that look like?“ People who respect you won’t waste your time.

6. They know what they bring to the table.  

Confident people know when and where they can add value and avoid getting involved when they cannot. Being involved in every project or initiative makes you busy. Being busy doesn’t make you valuable; adding value makes you valuable. Know the difference and know what you bring to the table.

So where do you go from here? My recommendation is to start small. Which of these six things do you do well? Which can you focus on starting today? No matter where you are in your confidence journey, developing more confidence is 100% possible. 

What’s your no. 1 piece of advice for projecting confidence at work? Leave your answer in the comments to help other FGB’ers.

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This article was written by an FGB Contributor.

Monica Lloyd is a Leadership Consultant with ADVISA.