"Let me tell you what social media is like when you finally come home from the hospital with the emptiest arms in the world, after you've spent days sobbing in bed, and pick up your phone for a couple minutes of distraction before the next wail," she wrote. "It's exactly, crushingly, the same as it was when your baby was still alive."
"But didn't you also see me googling, 'Is this Braxton Hicks?' and 'baby not moving?'" she asked. "Did you not see the three days of silence, uncommon for a high-frequency user like me? And then the announcement with keywords like 'heartbroken' and 'problem' and 'stillborn' and the 200 teardrop emoticons from my friends?"
"It decides you've given birth, assumes a happy result, and deluges you with ads for the best nursing bras (I have cabbage leaves only breasts because that is the best medical science has to offer turn your milk off), tricks to get the baby to sleep through the night (I would give anything to hear him cry at all), and the best strollers to grow with your baby (mine will forever be 4 pounds, 1 ounce)."
"If you're smart enough to realize that I'm pregnant, that I've given birth, then surely you're smart enough to realize that my baby died, and can advertise to me accordingly, or maybe, just maybe, not at all," she wrote.
AnnaMarie Houlis is a feminist, a freelance journalist and an adventure aficionado with an affinity for impulsive solo travel. She spends her days writing about women’s empowerment from around the world. You can follow her work on her blog, HerReport.org, and follow her journeys on Instagram @her_report, Twitter @herreportand Facebook.
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