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  • I'm pregnant and job searching. Most of the meetings I've taken with recruiters have been over the phone, but have also met with hiring managers in person. Anyone else have experience job interviewing while pregnant? At what point do you let the recruiter or the hiring manager know? I don't want to say anything in my initial conversation since I'm worried that I won't make it to the face-to-face interview round. I'm six months and showing, though it can be hard to tell if you don't really know me.

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    Tags: Job search, Interview, Pregnancy at Work
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    If you're not showing yet, go ahead with your interviews and try to get an offer. An interview isn't a confessional so you don't need to volunteer the fact you're expecting. When it comes to interviewing while you're showing, the cat is out of the bag and you'll face discrimination from some male hiring managers who won't want to hire you because they know you'll be leaving for awhile anyhow.

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    I helped an employee in our organization who was being laid off while pregnant to find a new role. Our HR manager coached her that, even internally, not to mention it at all until she got the offer. Legally, you are not allowed to be asked about it, but if you bring it up, then that opens the door. Don't ever give a potential employer any reason to be biased against you.
    By the way, the lady I helped has the new role and is getting ready to go on maternity leave soon.

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    Maybe the best option is to tell them you're interested in starting the job in X months (whatever that is for you)? Or perhaps waiting until after you have the baby to look? That's a really awkward timing and I feel for you...

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    I've been there, but was less pregnant than you are. I didn't say a word. And I still wouldn't if I had to do it all over again...I told them during the day that I got my offer. They were a bit taken aback but it worked ok...in the end I had to negotiate a start-date and maternity leave since they didn't cover me as such as new employee but it worked out fine -- good luck!!

  • Not sure whether this counts as sexual harassment or not. There's all this online advice to document but it's not like it happens over email. It's not my direct manager but an MD in my department..he keeps sending me gifts (small -- e.g. some chocolates, a jokey bobblehead) for no reason and I am not sure what to do about them. Seems like making a scene to return those things which he sometimes just leaves at my desk with a note but if I say thank you, it feels like saying it's ok.

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    Tags: Inappropriate situation
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    Sexual harassment is often aimed at a power game. By he giving you gifts and you not know how to react and feeling somehow guilty of not returning them or of keeping them. Either way he is gaining power over you. You have to stop this and report it. try to document it in writing so that you have a proof. Write an email telling him that this is not an acceptable behaviour and that it has been going on for too long to ignore.
    FYI There are a lot of resources and articles shared about sexual harassment in the workplace in the Facebook page for "stop before I say no". I have found useful information there.

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    Sexual harassment/harassment can be considered any unwelcome attention or gestures. You need to make it clear that his gifts/gestures are unwelcome. You need to say "Thanks Joe, but I really can't accept these gifts/any future gifts" and make sure that whatever gifts he has presented previously are not on display (give them back, give them to others, or get rid of them). See if this stops it. Document your actions (and his), so if the gifts don't stop, then you can discuss with your manager or HR.

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    If it makes you feel uncomfortable, then it's harassment. Can you pull the MD aside and say, "these gifts are so nice, but you're making me feel a little uncomfortable." ?

  • What do you think is the most appropriate outfit for an interview at a tech company? Biz casual or something more formal?

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    Tags: Job search, Interview, Career advice
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    I encourage candidates to dress very professionally for an interview. You want them to see you as someone who can represent the company and present to more senior level executives.

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    I've been in tech for about 5 years now and I've become way more casual than in previous years. Unless stated, don't wear jeans. I usually wear either dressy crop pants (bi stretch ones at the Gap are FANTASTIC and a good price) and a dress shirt or blouse. Sometimes I'll wear a shift dress if I want to be a step up. Those outfits have always been a slam dunk

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    I typically wear a skirt (it's strange but I feel like it's more formal than slacks) and tucked in shirt or blazer over a top. No super high heels for me...I feel like it's important to look nice but not stand out as too feminine when i'm going to be working with mostly men (usually) in a product team

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    I would err on the side of formal - no suits or pantyhose (does anyone still wear that?????) but def no hoodies for women.

  • What sites do you ladies use when looking for a new job?

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    Tags: Job search
  • I was in good shape, so I worked up to about the last day. My boss got nervous when I was really big at the end. LOL. I picked a last day just before my delivery date. Went for a slow swim of maybe four laps across a pool. Delivered that weekend. Awesome. Definitely maximize your leave. I negotiated using vacation in the afternoon so I would go to work and come home at noon until baby was three months old. Such an important time.

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    Tags: Maternity leave, Flexible working, Pregnancy at Work
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    Agree! I mean it's totally personal but it's hard to understand how precious mat leave time is before you have a baby...

  • What career advice would you give to your younger self?

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    Tags: Career advice
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    Take more changes. Do not settle. Promote yourself and your abilities. .Position yourself so you are just as marketable at age 30 as age 50 +. Businesses can be age biased.

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    My advice is "don't ask, don't get" - if you want something, ask for it and don't be afraid to tell your boss why you should deserve it.

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    So much advice, so little time…apart from telling my younger self to buy that tiny, flea infested flat in a murky corner of London because one day it would be worth a fortune I would say charm and a poker face can be incredibly powerful in the workplace. I was probably too full of emotion and impatience when younger, I moved from one job to the next thinking this would be ‘it’ and of course never really got anywhere for a long time as I simply wasn’t putting in the time in one place for people to get to know me or develop me so that I could work out what the ‘this is it’ job was.
    A poker face is very underestimated at work, I’m not suggesting we all need to supress our emotions, but I was too good at expressing my thoughts and feelings rather than staying professionally neutral to colleagues and I suspect this held me back at times.

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    I'd tell myself to pay attention to the things I enjoy doing in internships, college organizations, and those first jobs right out of college. Those are the things I'll get better at throughout my career, if I allow it.
    I'd tell myself to ask "Ok, then when?" after someone responds "Maybe at another time," when I ask to take on something new.
    I'd tell myself to take all my vacation days.
    I'd tell myself to invite more senior colleagues to lunch, and not assume that they're busy or that I'd bore them.
    I'd tell myself to be myself, and chase the things that fulfill me.

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    1. Always negotiate. Always.

    One of the main reasons women are paid less than men is that they don't ask. It is your DUTY to negotiate and get the best compensation you possibly can.

    2. Invest in learning new (valuable) skills

    Take full advantage of any career development opportunities and skill-building courses available to you in every job. Many employers will pay to train you, but even if they won't or can't, you should formally invest in yourself and your growth. When I graduated from college, I thought my learning was done--I could not have been more wrong! It pays to be constantly leveling up your skillset, both in terms of advancing in your current position and giving you leverage should you choose to seek a new position.

    3. Life is happening now, do not put off important experiences until you "make it"

    Dreaming of going part-time or striking out on your own? Want to work in another country? Thinking of having children? Don't wait until the perfect moment in your career comes up--there is no perfect moment. Do it now, don't wait or you may find those options are no longer available to you. That said, thoroughly investigate the ramifications of each decision so you know what you're getting in to and that you really want what you think you want.

    4. Take care of your body, it needs to last you a lifetime

    You know what you should do--the quality of your life, now and forever, depends on you finding a way to actually incorporate healthy habits into your life.

    5. Get Organized and create systems to help you stay on top of your tasks

    You can create so much focus and alleviate so much stress with reliable systems to keep yourself and your tasks organized. Learning this skill will pay off again and again as you move up the ladder and your family responsibilities grow.

    - Katie @ "http://momhabits.com"

  • Any good working-mom conferences in the NYC area? Would like to go to some and meet other women in the area.

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    Tags: Networking
  • Does anyone know a good place to find part-time job listings? I am trying to transition from a full-time role into a part-time one with my current company but in case that doesn't work out I am trying to have a back-up plan and start interviewing...thanks!

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    Tags: Job search
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    Try The Second Shift. It's for women who are looking for consulting work. They match you with opportunities based on your skill and it's up to you whether or not you would like to pitch for it.

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    Flexjobs is a place where you can find some part-time and remote jobs but I haven't ever used it b/c they charge a fee for it

  • I'm really nervous about telling my boss I'm pregnant...I work at a non-profit that helps children and am surrounded by women but none have taken maternity leave here and my boss is woman but has no kids. Any advice on how to break the news?

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    Tags: Pregnancy at Work
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    Soooo many women feel this way. I'm a second time mom and I'm still scared to break the news! It's amazing...I think of myself as confident but I think the reality is that people judge you when you're pregnant and thats why were all so nervous about sharing the news

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    I am in this same situation. Boss and everyone that I work does not have children under the age of 25. It is so intimidating when you are the first and only to go down this road at the workplace. All of the advice is 'talk to coworkers who have taken maternity leave'. I haven't said anything to anyone yet, too scared that this point....

  • Does anyone have any advice about what to do when you're implicitly excluded from activities at work? Eg. a couple guys I know (I work in finance) are going on a sailing day with clients but I don't know how to and feel like I can't just tag along even though it's a really great opp to bond

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    Tags: Boys club activities
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    I agree! Organize your own event

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    Have you directly expressed your desire to be included? Time to speak up, even if it's a simple, "hey, can I get a ride along with one of you" to let them know you'd like to be included, even if it's not something you're an expert at yourself. It will be a great opportunity to bond and get to know clients and colleagues outside of work.

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    This is one of those frustrating situations where if there's no upside in complaining, your a kill-joy if you do and if you feel helpless but there's not realistically a lot you can do

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    I think you should try to organize something else rather than try to force it to work...

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