7 Women Explain the Emotional Experiences of Leaving a Job They Loved

"I left a great job that I loved doing public relations and marketing for a major hospital system in Detroit," says Arielle Endelman, director of communications at the Birmingham Athletic Club in Bloomfield Hills, Michigan. "I had just had my first child and I had every intention of returning to work once my maternity leave came to a close. However, our childcare situation didn't work out as planned, and we were left high and dry until my baby was five months old. I didn't have a choice but to leave my job."

It was hard to tell her boss that she was leaving, but even harder to tell her closest colleague who had just returned from maternity leave herself, she explains. But, fortunately, she was able to find a great job doing public relations for a country club just 10 minutes from her home. Now, her son has outstanding childcare three days a week and she gets to be home with him the other two.

"What felt like a really hard situation at the time worked itself out to be even better than I could have expected," she says. "Now I have the best of both worlds: I get to be a working mom and a stay-at-home mom all at the same time."

"It was not only a job I loved, but my dream job that I had worked so hard to get," says EB Sanders, a career coach. "I was a Humanities professor at several fantastic colleges. As I'm sure you know, education/academia is not a cash cow but I loved my job. I scrimped, saved, worked weird little jobs in the cracks between classes to make ends meet, but it finally came to a head when my options were a) move across country for a tenure track position and still be struggling financially (only now in a place far from home) or b) find a new career. I was devastated."

She says leaving her job felt like a romantic relationship was ending. It took months of soul searching and not a few tears to get to a place where she could even acknowledge that there really were other doors. Wide open doors.

"It wasn't easy or even a direct path but I'm currently a career coach teaching women how to find fulfillment in their careers, and there's no way I could be where I am without the heartbreak of having to give up being a professor," she says. "I am in love with my current job in a whole new way, and I can't imagine not being a coach."

 

 "I helped to run a non-profit organization in Hollywood, CA, working with people who were experiencing homelessness, drug addiction and prostitution — we helped to get them into housing, a safe community and rehab, and do free laundry for them and provide support," says Holly Pinkham, fitness and nutrition coach. "I loved it and was totally consumed with it. I left due to a relationship, which I thought was leading to marriage, because this person didn't want me to do the job anymore due to safety issues. I hated leaving, but felt it was the honoring thing to do for the relationship, as well as to hopefully get a higher income somewhere else."

 

She initially took a freelance job in marketing, as well as a part-time job working for another more established non-profit, also doing marketing. But she eventually ended up starting an online fitness coaching business, which turned into personal training and fitness coaching, both online and in person with clients. Fitness has always been a passion of hers, and she had previously been a personal trainer and discovered that she still felt very drawn to this industry and helping people grow emotionally and physically through the disciplines of training and good health.

 

"I felt so many emotions!" she says. "Leaving my non-profit job was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I didn't feel ready to leave, felt forced into it, and was very sad about it for a long time. I felt kind of lost — that had become so much of my identity and now I didn't know what to do, or where I fit. It probably took at least a year to really get over leaving that organization and role in my life. I felt anger toward my ex, I felt guilty for leaving, and I felt sad that such a strong passion of mine was gone."

 

But not too long after starting to be a fitness trainer, she found a new part-time job working for a fitness company in marketing. When her career became all about fitness,  she felt hope and excitement and that this really was her new place and purpose, which gave her a lot of joy.

"Now I feel like this is truly where I'm supposed to be at this phase in my life and love my job and helping people in a very different way," she says. "I have to trust that this path was the best for me and it rarely feels like work for me. Plus, it's far less emotionally exhausting than my previous job. I still miss that one and will always love it and participate in issues of homelessness and such as a volunteer, but  I am happy and confident about this new season of life and don't regret any of those choices."

 

"I was the executive assistant to the assistant head of school at a private independent K-12 school — not only was I doing what I loved as an EA, but the school was fantastic and my boss was an amazing woman, a great educator and leader, and someone who poured into the lives of others and empowered other women," says Melissa Smith of The PVA. "She wasn't alone in her mission. I was surrounded by supportive and highly capable co-workers. Not only was I supported and compensated well, but I was also appreciated daily. I enjoyed going to work very much. I didn't think I would ever leave. I could never have imagined leaving that position for another like it. In fact, I didn't..."

She took the job at the school a year after her husband passed away and she moved back home to California. The second year, it was necessary to move back to Georgia because it was what was best for her family, she says. She couldn't imagine any position that could have been better, so she created her own. At first, she was a remote employee and then she started her own company. She had a taste of freedom and flexibility and knew she wanted more. She felt like it was a 'now or never' moment. This was her time to never have to make difficult choices again. To design a new lifestyle — a lifestyle where she was the boss.

"There were times I missed the validation; I missed the closeness of those in the office; I missed asking someone how my work was and what I could do to improve," she says. "I didn't become a virtual assistant because I don't like people; just the opposite. I love people and found new ways, which suited my business to interact with them. I hired a business coach to help me work through the questions I had. I joined networking groups and business associations to build relationships and assist others because it is my nature. I designed a support and professional development community around my lifestyle and business. It was the best decision I have ever made."

Even with all the mistakes and bad decisions she admits to making, none were fatal. Her life now is more than she could have ever imagined and her lifestyle has gone well beyond freedom and flexibility.

"I'm now location independent and traveled to 16 countries in 12 months in 2017, all while running my business," she says. "Not only is it something I do for myself, but it is also something I share and teach others about. I loved my job. However, I love my family and myself more. I love what I have created and built and will continue to do so."