How to Deal with a Bossy Coworker—Gracefully and Professionally

At first, dealing with a bossy coworker might seem like a mild annoyance. We all know collaboration is key in any workplace, but teamwork can crumble when one coworker oversteps their bounds. 

A bossy coworker—not your boss—may assume a leadership role when it’s not assigned. This can create tension, affect your confidence, and even hinder your long-term career growth if left unaddressed. But how do you recognize these behaviors, and more importantly, how to deal with bossy coworkers without escalating the situation? 

This article will explore how to spot them, how their actions impact you, and what practical steps you can take to deal with a bossy coworker effectively.

4 signs your coworker is acting like your boss

Before addressing the issue, it’s important to pinpoint whether your coworker’s behavior crosses the line into “bossy.” Everyone can be opinionated or assertive at times, but bossy coworkers cross every boundary and exhibit certain patterns that consistently disrupt workplace harmony.

1. They micromanage your tasks. Bossy coworkers might critique your work unnecessarily, or even try to redo your tasks without permission. 

2. They dominate conversations. If your coworker constantly interrupts, dismisses others’ input, or monopolizes meetings, they may be overstepping their role. This behavior stifles collaboration and can leave you feeling unheard or undermined.

3. They overstep boundaries. When a coworker assigns tasks, redirects your workflow, or acts like a gatekeeper between you and your actual manager, it’s a clear sign they’re acting outside their authority. Why are they acting vertically in a horizontal peer structure? 

4. They exhibit “mirror anxiety” behaviors. “Bossy coworkers often start sentences with ‘I think you should…’” says business owner Amanda Dee Richardson, who’s dealt with bossy coworkers in the health industry. “Over time, this can make you feel undervalued and overlooked.”

How a bossy coworker can impact your performance and career

A bossy coworker’s behavior can have both immediate and lasting consequences for your career.

Short-term effects

Feeling drained and unfocused? Your bossy coworker might be to blame. Constant micromanagement or interruptions may make you second-guess your decisions, lowering your productivity and job satisfaction. 

Long-term effects

If left unchecked, these dynamics can erode your confidence over time, impacting how you advocate for yourself in the workplace. A controlling coworker can also create tension that disrupts team dynamics, making it harder to build strong professional relationships. 

Bossy coworkers and biases

Let’s be real here: Navigating workplace dynamics isn’t just about clashing personalities. We can’t ignore the influence of gender, race, sexuality, and age when addressing bossy coworkers. These factors shape how authority and competence are perceived—and often, who gets to assert them without being questioned.

For women, especially women of color, being viewed as “less than” by male colleagues in the same role is a common challenge. A male coworker might feel entitled to explain tasks you’re already an expert in—a behavior commonly referred to as mansplaining—or dismiss your ideas during meetings, only to repackage them as his own later. This isn’t just annoying; it’s a microaggression—a subtle, often unintentional behavior or comment that reinforces biases or stereotypes in the workplace.

LGBTQ+ folks may also face similar challenges—like a coworker assuming they’re less assertive or capable—or outright exclusion from decision-making.

According to McKinsey's 2024 Women in the Workplace research, shows that women—particularly LGBTQ+ women and women with disabilities—are still more likely than men to experience microaggressions, which can make it harder for them to speak up, take risks, and raise concerns at work.

Age adds another layer. Younger professionals are often brushed off as inexperienced, even when they’re fully qualified. Meanwhile, older employees may encounter condescension from younger coworkers who assume they’re out of touch with current trends or technology. These biases feed into an unequal dynamic, where bossy behavior becomes less about individual personality quirks and more about systemic inequalities.

Addressing these power imbalances takes courage and persistence. You deserve to have your expertise recognized and your voice heard, no matter your identity or background. Tackling this starts with calling out the behavior respectfully but firmly, reclaiming your space in the conversation, and, if necessary, bringing these patterns to the attention of leadership to advocate for change.

How to deal with a bossy coworker

Here’s how to handle a bossy coworker effectively while maintaining professionalism and fostering better teamwork.

1. Acknowledge the impact on you

Before confronting the issue, take time to reflect on how their behavior affects you. Are you feeling undervalued, frustrated, or overwhelmed? Recognizing these emotions will help you approach the situation calmly and confidently. “For me, addressing the issue helped me stay grounded and maintain my confidence,” Richardson says.

2. Set clear boundaries

Boundaries are essential when dealing with a bossy coworker. Be firm yet respectful about what you’re responsible for and where their input isn’t needed. For example, if they try to assign tasks, you can respond with, “I appreciate your input, but I’d like to check with [manager’s name] before proceeding.” 

Consider framing conversations as collaborative. “Clarify roles and responsibilities in a one-on-one meeting to avoid confrontation while addressing the issue directly,” says Shirley Mueller, a business owner with over 20 years of experience in finance.

3. Communicate assertively

If their behavior persists, have a private conversation to express your concerns. Always use “I” statements to avoid putting your coworker on the defensive. Try: “I’ve noticed you often provide detailed input on my tasks. While I appreciate your suggestions, I’d like to have more autonomy in managing my responsibilities.”

4. Document incidents

If the situation doesn’t improve, keep a record of specific instances where your coworker overstepped. This documentation can be useful if you need to escalate the issue to a manager or HR.

5. Seek support from leadership

When all else fails, involve your manager or a mediator. Approach this step with professionalism, emphasizing your desire to improve team collaboration rather than pointing fingers.

What to say to a bossy coworker

It’s good to have a few different ways to say “let me do my work” in your head, for when you need them:

• I appreciate your perspective, but I’d like to approach this my way.

• Let’s clarify our roles so we can avoid overlapping responsibilities.

• I value collaboration, but I’d like more input from the whole team.

You know who your boss really is

A coworker who acts like your boss is someone who can sabotage your career. Act with clear boundaries, open communication, and confidence, you can protect your professional integrity while fostering better collaboration. “Don’t let these interactions affect your confidence; stay grounded and remember your value in the workplace,” Richardson says.