Building Connections as a Woman at Work: Overcoming The Lost Art of Connecting

Susan McPherson is a serial connector, seasoned communicator and founder and CEO of McPherson Strategies, a communications consultancy focused on the intersection of brands and social impact. Susan has 25+ years of experience in marketing, public relations, and sustainability communications, speaking regularly at industry conferences, and contributing to the Harvard Business Review, Fast Company, and Forbes. Susan is a Vital Voices global corporate ambassador and has received numerous accolades for her voice on social media platforms from Fortune Magazine, Fast Company and Elle Magazine. 

Our latest research  The State of Diversity Recruiting in 2021 research highlights how a lack of strong networks and connections actively hinders women at work. So,we were thrilled to sit down with Susan and talk to her about her new book The Lost Art of Connecting: The Gather, Ask, Do Method for Building Meaningful Business Relationships. The book talks about how we had become a nation engulfed in loneliness. About how despite having hundreds of “friends” on Facebook and countless “connections” on LinkedIn, real connections still remain rare and elusive - especially in today’s mid-pandemic world. 

Check out our interview with Susan, and her take on how women can build long-lasting connections (and opportunities) at work by overcoming the lost art of connecting. 

Recent research by LinkedIn and PayScale found that men are more likely to get a job - and at a 12% higher pay - than women because they have more powerful networks. What would you like women to know about networking to help them expand both networks and opportunities? 

Susan: First, I want to stress that I believe networking and connecting are different. I hate how we think about networking - events are one to many, the emphasis is on how can I be helped and not how can I help, and the focus always seems to be on more events rather than maximizing the value of any one event. 

Instead, thinking about connecting allows people to focus on building meaningful relationships, not just grabbing business cards. It’s important to meet people and have meaningful conversations that lead to opportunities. It’s also not enough to meet someone and have one conversation and be done. It’s all about rinse and repeat - really nurturing relationships rather than just meeting people. 

How can we change networking to make it more like connecting?

Susan: When connecting, ask “How can I be helpful?” and not “What can I get?” This approach works extremely well. Focus on other people and not yourself, understand that everyone is worth meeting and has some special sauce, and really listen in a meaningful way. Be reliable, dependable, and helpful. 

In today’s world, women are taking on more work than ever and it’s leading to stress, burnout, and 3 million women leaving the workforce. What is your best suggestion for how women can find the time to or prioritize networking connecting in a meaningful way?

Author’s note: originally, we asked Susan about “networking.” However, after hearing her push back on the word, we updated our question to focus on connecting. 

Susan: Living in a pandemic is hard. But, I want to move away from using the word “networking.” Networking is exhausting. Building meaningful relationships is much more thoughtful, and can actually lead to help and support during this difficult time. When you develop deep, meaningful relations, you have more people to tap into for help and to rely on. I would recommend locking certain amounts of time each month to deepen your existing network and reach outside your bubble to meet people who don’t look like or sound like you. 

In one of our recent webinars, What You Need to Know About Diversity Recruiting in 2021, diversity recruiting expert, Jennifer Tardy, mentions that one of the top ways to enhance diversity in the workplace is for recruiters and hiring managers to diversify their personal networks. For those on their employer side looking to expand and diversify their networks, is there an approach that works best in your eyes? 

Susan: I run a small business with 12 employees. I’m not an HR consultant. I’m a social impact consultant. But, what employers can do is give employees time to volunteer. There are 1.3 million non profits. No matter where you live, there’s an organization for you. Volunteering is a great way to get involved and meet new people. From a talent perspective, encourage employees to volunteer and give them budget to do so. 

What’s one piece of advice you’d like FGBers to take away from the book? 

Susan: When you walk into any room, lead with how you can be helpful rather than what you can get. If you go through your career with that mindset, your career will definitely soar. 

What great advice for women at work and employers who want to support women at work during this time. To learn more about Susan, follow her on Twitter at @susanmcp1 and on Instagram at @susanmcp1. For information about her book, visit TheLostArtofConnecting.com, and pick up your copy of The Lost Art of Connecting on March 23rd at your favorite book store.