I’m One of the Last of My Friends to Try to Get Pregnant — Here’s What I’ve Learned

Whether you're years away from having kids or you're actively trying to get pregnant, navigating fertility alongside your career can be tricky. That's why Fairygodboss has teamed up with Modern Fertility, a company dedicated to offering the best information around fertility so women can make informed decisions around how their fertility factors into their careers. In this series, we're sharing stories from real women who are in varying stages of their careers and fertility journeys. We hope that hearing from these women is helpful — and if you still have your own questions surrounding fertility and career, please ask us to weigh in here! 

Who: Lily

Age: 32

Tell us a bit about yourself! Where are you from? What are you up to? 

I’m a lawyer living in the Midwest.

Tell us a bit about where you are with building your family and fertility. Are you a long ways out? Curious? Trying?  

I’m about to start trying within the next couple months.

How are you thinking about your career and your family?  

I am planning on having a career even after I have children. I am currently the primary breadwinner, and will likely continue in that role, even after children. At a certain point my husband and I will decide if we will have a full-time nanny, day-care, or if he will stay home with the kids or work from home.

How does building a family impact how you think about choosing an employer? Is it something you think about now/do you think you will later?  

I have stayed at the firm I am currently at a little bit longer than I otherwise might have because I have accrued the time to take some maternity leave here. Anywhere that I go after this firm will need to have a decent parental leave policy (hopefully for both parents). I am disappointed with my firm's policy, and I don't think that they will keep many female attorneys for long. 

Where have you gotten your information about fertility? Do you talk to your doctor? Your family? Your friends? 

I have some information from my doctor, some from my friends, and I just generally have always had an interest in knowing. I grew up knowing that my mother had had a miscarriage and a non-viable baby, so it was always something I knew was possible. In one of my groups of friends I'm one of the last to start trying to have kids, and my friends have been open with me about the miscarriages they have had, or the fertility issues they have had.   

What kind of support do you wish you had more of when it comes to fertility?  

If I end up having fertility issues once I'm trying for a pregnancy, then I might know better what type of support I would have liked. As of right now, I think I have all the support I need. 

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