I’m 36, in Grad School, and Here’s How I’m Thinking About Fertility

Whether you're years away from having kids or you're actively trying to get pregnant, navigating fertility alongside your career can be tricky. That's why Fairygodboss has teamed up with Modern Fertility, a company dedicated to offering the best information around fertility so women can make informed decisions around how their fertility factors into their careers. In this series, we're sharing stories from real women who are in varying stages of their careers and fertility journeys. We hope that hearing from these women is helpful — and if you still have your own questions surrounding fertility and career, please ask us here!

Who:  Maria

 Age: 36

 Tell us a bit about yourself! Where are you from? What are you up to? 

I’m an expat New Yorker living in the southwest for graduate school. 

 Tell us a bit about where you are with building your family and fertility. Are you a long ways out? Curious? Trying? 

I have pretty recently met someone who I feel sure I want to have a child with. I was in two long relationships previously where this was a fraught issue, and have considered trying to get pregnant solo because I didn’t feel like either of those partners wanted to parent as much as I did (with me, at least) but ultimately decided that I don’t want to be a single parent. I have some infertility, and am 36, so this is becoming a more and more pressing question. 

How are you thinking about your career and your family?  

I’m in my first year of a pretty intense 3-year Master’s program, so, there’s that. I’m torn between sort of tossing things up to chance and trusting it will work out, and thinking of a plan for when would be the sanest time to be (hopefully!) pregnant. 

 How does building a family impact your choice of an employer? Is it something you think about now/do you expect you will later?  

I’ve recently started considering academia as a long term career option, primarily for the flexibility and insurance.

Where have you gotten your information about fertility? Do you talk to your doctor? Your family? Your friends? 

I’ve seen a reproductive endocrinologist and a fertility specialist. I talk to my sister and my friends. I’m pretty open about this stuff and many of my friends have children and have dealt with fertility stuff. 

What kind of support do you wish you had more of when it comes to fertility?  

I wish people wouldn’t have said “you have so much time!” to me for so many years. It’s not really true, for a lot of people. I also could do without everyone’s story about that one 42-year-old they know who got pregnant.

 Anything else you’d like to share? We’d love to hear it :) 

I loved the book “The Art of Waiting,” which is kind of a fertility memoir and kind of a work of research-based nonfiction book on the business of fertility in America. 

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