How to Ask for Help at Work—Without Sounding Incompetent

Show of hands: Have you ever been afraid to ask for help at work? Yeah, we thought so—but good news, you’re in excellent company. A CivicScience study found that 59% of people don’t ask for help in the workplace—and of those, women account for a slightly higher percentage than men. 

There are many reasons we don’t ask for help, says Belema Ronabere, HR specialist at Persuasion Nation. “Women are often concerned that their requests for help may be seen as a sign of weakness or as being incapable of succeeding on their own,” Ronabere says. 

Yet asking for assistance is actually a power move: It shows strength and can help you build connections, gain insights, and open doors for mentorship and development. If it doesn’t come naturally to you, keep reading for advice on how to ask for help at work.

Why asking for help at work can feel like a weakness

Many people, especially women, hesitate to ask for help at work due to concerns about how they might be perceived. There’s a fear of judgment, that they might be considered incompetent. 

The pressure to “prove yourself” and avoid reinforcing gender stereotypes can make some women reluctant to seek assistance, particularly those who’ve experienced workplace biases. Plus, some may believe that asking for help at work could harm their advancement, feeling they must appear fully self-sufficient to be seen as capable leaders. 

There’s also the fear of disrupting a colleague’s workflow; many women are especially cautious about burdening others, often opting to handle tasks alone even when seeking support could be more efficient. 

However, with the right approach and an understanding of the right way to ask for help at work, you can confidently seek assistance without compromising professionalism or growth.

The importance of asking for help in the workplace

“Asking for help demonstrates openness to growth, a readiness to learn from others, and an acceptance of opinions other than one’s own—which ultimately benefits both the individual and the organization,” Ronabere says.

In a 2021 study out of the University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign, researchers found that asking for help with the goal of mastering a task or subject actually improves a worker’s reputation in the eyes of their manager. Here are some other benefits of asking for help at work:

• Promotes professional growth: Asking for help is a skill that enables learning and development for advancing in your career. For example, if you're struggling with a complex software program, asking a colleague who is more experienced can not only help you solve the problem but also enhance your skills for future projects.

• Saves time and improves outcomes: Seeking support allows you to leverage others’ expertise, helping you gain insights that lead to more efficient and effective results.

• Builds stronger relationships: Reaching out for assistance fosters a collaborative environment, strengthening connections with colleagues and encouraging teamwork.

• Shifts workplace dynamics for women: Confidently asking for help at work shows that you value collaboration and learning, qualities that can lead to leadership opportunities.

• Challenges stereotypes: Asking for help empowers women to challenge the idea that they must handle everything independently. It shows that collaboration and shared expertise are strengths, fostering a more inclusive and supportive workplace.

• Enhances credibility: Demonstrating a willingness to seek input and work together enhances your professional reputation, positioning you as a resourceful and growth-oriented team member.

• Avoids mistakes: “When you ask for help, you protect yourself from fatigue or errors and show that you value team knowledge,” Ronabere says.

How to ask for help at work—without sounding incompetent

Don't let fear hold you back; here’s how to get better at asking for help at work without compromising your professionalism.

1. Assess the situation before you ask

Before approaching someone, evaluate if the task truly requires assistance or if it’s something you can handle with additional research or time. This ensures that when you do ask, it’s for something that genuinely needs another perspective or skill set.

2. Choose the right person

Decide who is best suited to help based on their expertise. If it’s a technical question, a peer with specialized knowledge might be the best fit. For bigger-picture guidance or strategic advice, your boss may be the right person. Approaching the right individual not only maximizes the chances of receiving quality help but also shows that you value their specific skills.

3. Be specific about what you need

Instead of saying, “I need help with this project,” try being clear and concise: “I’m working on the financial report and need some guidance on interpreting the new metrics.” This makes it easier for the other person to assist you effectively.

4. Show an effort to solve the problem

Don’t wait for someone to solve the problem for you. You don’t need to have the answer, but come prepared with insights or suggestions to discuss. “It’s helpful when the individual explains what they have done so far,” Ronabere says. 

You might say, “I’ve done X and Y, but I’m facing a challenge with Z. Can you help me with this?” This approach shows proactivity and commitment to finding solutions collaboratively.

5. Frame your request positively

Position your request as an opportunity for collaboration rather than a cry for help. For instance, say, “I’d love to get your input on this project to ensure it aligns with our team goals.” This approach conveys that you value their expertise and are proactive in seeking the best outcome.

6. Express gratitude

Always follow up with appreciation, whether it’s a quick thank you via email or a verbal acknowledgment during your next interaction. Showing gratitude builds goodwill and ensures that others feel valued, making them more likely to assist you again in the future.

How to ask for help at work: Email examples

So, how do you tell your boss you need help, or approach your peers for guidance? Each situation requires a tailored approach to ensure your request is received positively and effectively. 

Below are sample emails asking for help at work that demonstrate how to communicate your needs clearly and professionally in each scenario.

Example #1: Asking your boss for help at work with a project

Subject: Request for guidance on marketing strategy for product launch

Hi Sarah,

I’m currently working on the marketing strategy for the upcoming launch of our new eco-friendly water bottle, and I’ve encountered a few challenges regarding our target audience analysis. I’ve tried reviewing previous campaigns and analyzing customer feedback, but I feel I could benefit from your guidance to ensure I’m on the right track.

Could we schedule a brief meeting to discuss this? I’d appreciate your insights, especially on how we can best position our messaging to resonate with environmentally conscious consumers. I also have a few ideas on how we could approach this and would love your thoughts on which might work best.

Thank you in advance for your time and support.

Best regards,
Jessica

Example #2: Asking your boss for help prioritizing a heavy workload

Subject: Request for assistance with workload management

Hi Sarah,

I wanted to reach out regarding my current workload, as I’m finding it a bit challenging to keep up with everything on my plate right now. With the upcoming deadlines for the marketing strategy for the new eco-friendly water bottle and our ongoing social media campaigns, I’m concerned about maintaining the quality of my work.

I’ve been prioritizing tasks and managing my time as best as I can, but I could really use your guidance on how to effectively balance these responsibilities. Would you be available for a quick chat to discuss potential options, such as redistributing some tasks or adjusting deadlines? Your insights would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you for your understanding and support.

Best regards,

Jessica

Example #3: Asking a colleague for help at work

Hi Mark,

I’m currently working on integrating the new CRM system into our sales process, and I know you’ve had success with this area before. I’m a bit stuck on configuring the lead tracking feature, and I was wondering if you could spare a few minutes to share your approach or tips.

I’ve explored a couple of options, but I’d love to get your perspective on which might work best. Let me know if you have some time this week for a quick chat or call.

Thanks so much for your help!

Best,
Emily

Bottom line

Knowing how to ask for help at work—whether from your boss or a colleague—can boost your professional development and build stronger connections. By being clear, respectful, and proactive, you ensure that your request is met with a positive response, showing that you’re committed to delivering your best and growing within your role.