How to Combine Finances After Marriage

If you're trying to figure out how to combine finances after marriage—or even wondering if it's a good idea—there are a few things to think about. According to a Forbes survey of divorcees, 42% of respondents got married for financial security. Ironically, 24% divorced due to financial stress. Love might not be everything after all.

Combining finances after marriage can often cause conflict, especially if the couple has different spending habits or if one partner has debt. That's why automatically opening a joint account right after saying “I do” may not be the smartest move. 

To make this transition smoothly, It's important to have a plan—one that involves clear communication, organization, and a good grasp of budgeting basics. To help you out, we've laid out how to combine finances as a couple with advice from a certified finance expert.

Should married couples combine finances?

Combining finances is an expected move after marriage, but not everyone is ready to do so. “It works for some couples and not for others,” says Amy Coroso, Certified Financial Education Instructor (CFEI) and author of Planning Your Retirement Life.

Rather than instantly adhering to social norms, couples should take a moment to think about whether combined finances would be beneficial for their relationship. “Determining factors include: debt that is brought to the marriage, spending habits, and savings goals,” Coroso says. In other words, there's no one-size-fits all recipe for how to combine finances as a couple. 

If your partner likes to spend like there's no tomorrow while you're more of a saver, merging your incomes completely could lead to disagreements over money and resentment. On the other hand, if you share similar spending and saving habits, it might be easier to manage your finances together.

What's the best way to combine finances when married?

Considering a scenario where both of you contribute to household expenses, there are several ways you could split finances as a couple:

• 50/50 split: With this method, you evenly share every expense. For example, if the light bill is $100, each of you pays $50. If you're saving $200,000 for a house, both partners should set aside $100,000. This approach works better for couples with similar incomes.

• Proportional split: Your contributions to expenses and savings are proportionate to your income. Instead of splitting everything 50/50, it could be 60/40, 70/30, or even 55/45. This method is more suitable for couples with significantly different incomes or debts.

• “I got you next time” split: Some couples prefer to take turns covering certain expenses. For example, one month your partner handles groceries and the light bill, and the next month it's your turn to cover those expenses. This method can work well for couples who are still on the fence or figuring out how to combine finances.

• “Yours, mine, and ours” split: In this method, the couple uses a joint account for shared household expenses and saving for mutual goals (i.e. buying a house) while keeping their individual accounts for personal expenses. This is ideal for couples who want to combine finances but still maintain some independence and privacy.

• “What’s mine is yours” split: For some couples, marriage means sharing everything, including money. With this method, you open a shared account where both deposit their entire monthly income to take off bills, savings, and personal expenses. This approach is suited for couples who are comfortable and secure in sharing everything with each other.

But what is the best way to combine finances among these options? Only you can decide. There's no solution that works for every single couple, as people have different incomes, financial plans, and overall values and lifestyles. 

However, a middle ground between these options could be the “yours, mine, and ours” approach; you're still sharing finances to reach common goals while keeping some of your income separate for your own wants and needs. 

How to combine finances after marriage: 5 tips

Combining finances after marriage is more than just opening a joint account. You must go through conversations, goal setting, and planning ahead to avoid unpleasant surprises or resentment in the future. Below are five steps to successfully combine finances with your spouse. 

1. Have a honest conversation about money

You and your partner may have already talked about money before getting married—which is great. If you haven't, now's the time to do so. Sit down together and cover everything you both need to know about finances. If you're not sure where to begin or what to say, here are some talking points to consider:

• How much money do you make?

• How do you feel about money (safe, anxious, stressed)?

• Do you have debt? Student loans? How much is it?

• Do you have any financial goals for the future?

• What are some of your concerns regarding finances?

For couples who aren't used to talking about money openly, this conversation can be a bit tough. But it's important to try to be as honest as possible so you both understand each other's financial situations and how they could impact your union.

2. Define your combined financial goals 

Define what are your short- and long-term goals as a couple. Do you plan to buy a house together or go on vacation? When? Are you planning to save for your kids' education, if you have or want to have children? If so, how much do you aim to set aside?

This conversation will serve as a financial guide for future decisions. If you have different priorities, it will bring these differences to light and help you find a common ground where both are willing to compromise.

3. Create a family budget and financial plan

Once you know both incomes, debts, and shared goals, you can make a budget. The goal is to see how much of your income goes toward essentials like  rent, mortgage, utilities, and groceries, versus non-essentials like streaming subscriptions and shopping. (Here's our full guide on how to create a family budget.) 

From there, you can start to lay out a financial plan for your shared expenses, personal expenses, debts, and savings. One commonly used budgeting method is the 50/30/20 rule: 50% of your money goes to needs (essential expenses), 30% to wants (non-essentials), and 20% to savings or paying off debts. 

4. Consider splitting shared expenses proportionally

You might think that splitting bills 50/50 is the way to go when it comes to combining finances—it seems fair, right? Well, not necessarily. It can cause friction and resentment if one partner makes more money than the other.

Imagine this scenario: Your partner makes $10,000 and you make $5,000. Your shared expenses are $4,200 per month. If your partner contributes $2,100, it's 21% of his income. But for you, contributing the same $2,100 is 42% of your income.

To truly even things out, consider splitting household expenses proportionally based on both of your incomes. “If one partner makes twice as much as the other, there would be undue pressure for the partner who earns less to ‘keep up‘ with the higher income partner,” Coroso says. 

To figure out how much each partner should contribute based on their income, use this formula:

Step 1:

• Your annual income/Total of both incomes x 100 = Your contribution percentage 

• Partner's annual income/Total of both incomes x 100 = Partner's contribution percentage

Step 2:

• Total shared monthly expenses x your percentage = how much you should contribute per month

• Total shared monthly expenses x partner’s percentage = how much partner should contribute per month

So if we calculate based on the above example—your partner makes $10,000 and you make $5,000—this is how this formula would look in practice:

Step 1: 

• 120,000/180,00 x 100 = 66,66%

• 60,000/180,00 x 100 = 33.33%

Step 2:

• 4,200 x 66,66 = $2.799,72 is your partner’s monthly contribution

• 4,200 x 33,33 = $1.399.82 is your monthly contribution

If you both have similar incomes, you can go for the 50/50 and reevaluate the arrangement if your financial situation changes.

5. Split the financial responsibilities equally

To make household management easier, some couples choose to have one person handling all finances. While this idea has support from some finance experts, completely alienating yourself or your partner from the couple's finances can cause issues in the future.

“Both partners should be actively involved in the household finances,” Coroso says. “In the event that one of them dies or is incapacitated, the other would have no idea where to start.” Women in heterosexual relationships should be especially careful, as they are often the most affected by financial abuse. 

A better strategy would be to track your finances using a shared spreadsheet or budgeting app. Coroso highly recommends YNAB (You Need A Budget). “It allows you to create spending categories and each partner has access,” she says. “There's a desktop version and a mobile app so you can check it on the fly.” 

Besides YNAB, Goodbudget, Mint, and Honeydue—an app designed specifically for couples—are worth taking a look at. 

6. Open a joint account for shared responsibilities

Once you have a budget and financial plan in place, you're ready to open a shared account. Start with a joint checking account where each person deposits their percentage of the income to cover shared expenses. If you have saving goals, such as saving for a down payment on a house or your dream vacation, think about opening joint savings accounts for those purposes.

That'd be the “yours, mine, and ours” approach—where both of you keep individual accounts to manage your remaining money as you please, as recommended by Coroso. “This alleviates any pressure from feeling like you have to explain your spending to the other person,” she says. “It can also be beneficial in the event of separation or divorce, each person would have access to their own finances.”

7. Have regular conversations about money 

When you share a life and your finances with someone, money should be a recurrent topic of conversation. “I recommend meeting weekly to review spending and maintain continued, open conversation about financial goals and progress,” Coroso says. 

If you can't do it weekly, try sitting down monthly to talk about any concerns, new ideas, and changes like income fluctuations. This keeps both parties aligned and walking towards shared goals.

Bonus tips on combining finances after marriage

• Retirement planning: Leverage tax-advantaged retirement accounts like Roth IRAs and 401(k)s, and start saving for your retirement as soon as possible, if you haven't already.

• Create a debt repayment plan: If you or your spouse has debt, include repayment in your financial plan. Start by tackling high-interest debt first (i.e. credit card debt), then move on to the next. 

• Insurance and protection: Consider getting life insurance, as well as house and car insurance. They can provide financial security if something happens to either of you. 

• Beneficiaries and estate planning: Having your power of attorney and beneficiaries officially documented on paper can also make things easier for your partner if something happens to either of you.

Frequently asked questions

1. Can you get married without combining finances?

Sure, you don't have to fully combine your finances after getting married. For instance, you can keep your individual bank accounts and open a shared account just for shared expenses, like rent and groceries. Or you can divide up who handles each bill and pay from your own checking accounts, without needing a joint account.

2. How to combine accounts when you get married?

One of the easiest ways to combine bank accounts after getting married is to open a joint account., whether it's a checking or savings account. Requirements and regulations can vary between banks, so it's wise to dig into their websites for details or speak to a bank representative.

3. How to combine credit cards after marriage?

You or your partner can add the other as an authorized user on your credit card. This allows the authorized user to have a credit card linked to the primary account holder's account. You can also open a joint checking account and request a credit card for each holder.

Bottom line

When it comes to combining finances after marriage, the key is to have open and honest conversations about money and create a plan that works for both of you. The steps we've provided are suggestions for couples who may be unsure where to start, but feel free to adapt them to what makes most sense for your relationship and financial situation. 

It could also be a good idea to hire a financial advisor for guidance on more complex aspects of managing money as a couple, such as shared investments, debt repayment, and insurance and estate planning.

If you want to hear from those who have been there, read this next: 7 Married Women Explain Why They Did – or Didn't – Merge Finances With Their Partner