I Don't Want a Baby Boy — And I Feel Guilty About It

In a world of lavish gender reveal parties that are documented for the world to see via Instagram and Facebook, it can be easy to assume all parents are happy with the gender of their child. But recently, Fairygodboss women had a discussion in the Community revealing otherwise. 

“I just found out I'm having a boy. To be honest, I wanted a girl,” one FGB'er wrote. 

“I’m expecting a baby, and I just found out I'm having a boy. To be 100% frank, part of me is disappointed — I was really wishing for a girl. I know that sounds awful, and I'm privileged to even be having a (hopefully healthy) baby, but I can't help feeling this way. Has anyone else experienced this? I'm sure it'll change as my pregnancy progresses and when my baby is born, but right now I just feel super guilty for even having these thoughts!”

A few other FGB responded to let her know that she is not alone, and that there are things she can do to feel better. 

“I had a close friend who felt this way, but then after her baby boy arrived, [she] loved him every bit as much,” one FGB'er responded.

“You can't make yourself feel a certain way. You were thrilled and now you’re disappointed,” another wrote.

“Try looking at baby stuff for [boys]. Maybe it'll inspire you," a third suggested.

And others revealed they experienced similar thoughts during their pregnancies. 

“This was me 1000%. I cried after finding out I was having a boy and no longer felt excited about my pregnancy. Now when I look at my son, it breaks my heart that I ever had those thoughts. I could’ve never imagined how wonderful, exciting, hilarious and special being a boy mom would be. I know that I was blessed with the exact child for me and I promise you will feel the very same,” one FGB'er said.

“[You] don't need to feel guilty! You're experiencing an overwhelming flood of emotions at a time like that, and sometimes our overwhelmed mind picks weird, seemingly trivial things to focus our anxieties on. I think it's easier to for your brain to fixate on the minor stress of ‘I kinda wanted a girl’ in order to avoid thinking about the huge, daunting, mega-anxiety of ‘OMG I'm going to have a kid!’ Besides, it's perfectly valid to grieve a moment over your disappointment, as long as you can move on after,” another advised.

I agree. You may feel disappointed or upset now, and that’s okay. 

Allow yourself to feel these emotions and give yourself time to process them. But  also realize that soon enough, you will get through this phase and be excited about your pregnancy and your son.

“It is great that you can acknowledge your feelings and work through them. I wanted a girl so badly. Now I have two boys, and I could not imagine a house full of glitter and princesses," one FGB'er said. "You will feel love like you have never experienced when you hold that little boy in your arms. Boys love their mommas in such a special way! I truly love being a boy mom and selfishly enjoy being the princess of the house. Congratulations on your new baby!”