As a married-couple, meeting other married couples with which to spend your time isn't necessarily an easy feat — and that's because many married couples have obligations to which they must attend, whether that's family, their home or their careers. It can feel like there's seldom time to double date in between it all.
And, besides, how do you even find another married couple interested in taking on even more social obligations, too?
There are ways to put yourself out there and find other couples like you — and apps to help connect you with others.
Why should couples be friends with other couples?
Couples should be friends with other couples for a gamut of reasons. Other couples understand marriage — they'll understand where you and your partner are at in life, as well. And they'll be more keen to engage in couple activities, perhaps more so than your single friends. Besides, psychological research insists that the friendship of other couples is healthy.
Researchers interviewed 123 couples together — and 122 members of a couple whose partners were not interviewed — and reached several conclusions about the advantages of friendships among couples. The found three types of couples:
- Seekers, who were "very interested in meeting new couples."
- Keepers, who were "content with the couple friends they had though open to new friendships."
- Nesters, who were "content in staying within a very small circle of friends and not interested in making new couple friends."
Of course, "dragging one's spouse/partner into spending time with another couple she or he is not especially fond of is not a good idea, and is especially difficult for younger couples," researcher Geoffrey Greif Ph.D., writes. "Older couples tend to have more time on their hands. They do not need to shepherd their time as much as those raising young children, who may be struggling professionally, trying to make time for extended families, trying to find alone time, trying to find time to be alone or with close, individual friends without the partner/spouse around and/or trying to find time for just the couple."
But for seekers and even some keepers and nesters, seeing one's spouse happily engaging with another couple can actually make that person more attractive, the researchers found.
"Being with close friends that both partners like can bring out the best in everyone," Greif explains. "Shooting a hole in one, seeing the beach at dawn, laughing at a bad movie or cooking a great meal may be enhanced when sharing it with a partner, as well as another couple. In addition, learning from that couple how they have handled the normal ups and downs of life can be instructive and provide ideas about how to handle the struggles that emerge raising young children, assisting aging parents or dealing with thorny personal issues."
4 ways to befriend other couples
Here are four ways to befriend other married couples.
1. Join groups in your community.
Join groups in your community to meet new people. This might mean joining an intramural sports league, through which many other couples sign up to meet new friends, as well. It may mean signing up for a local gym or yoga studio, where you'll be sure to make new friends who may have spouses. Or it might mean taking classes like cooking or painting classes, where couples often go for date nights. You can use sites/apps like Meetup.com to filter through activities and interests to find groups and events in your area.
2. Invite a colleague and their spouse out.
If you have a married colleague with whom you've become close friends, invite them out for drinks or a meal with your spouse and you. Inviting them for a happy hour drink can be a casual and fun way to introduce your spouses, who'll already have a lot in common since they're married to the both of you who work for the same company.
3. Invite another school parent and their spouse out.
If you have children who go to school, you're likely to meet other parents who may be married, as well. By attending parent meetings and school events, you'll have a good chance of making friends with other married parents who you can invite out for lunch one day while the kids are at school, too.
4. Use apps to connect with other couples.
Fortunately, there are tons of apps out there to connect with other people, including couples. Of course, there are apps for couples looking to engage sexually or romantically with other couples, but there are also apps for couples to meet platonically. Like dating apps, these can be used to find strictly friendships.
4 apps for finding new friends
Here are four apps that were specifically created to help couples meet other couple friends.
Coupler is an app for couples to meet other couples — it touts itself as enabling "dating for the 21st century." You and your partner can browse together and chat with your matches.
2. Couple Hang
Couple Hang is another app for couples to make friends with thousands of other couples across the country. Its goal is to "help you strengthen your relationship by gaining new friends that improve and add excitement to your relationship."
CouplesList is "a place for married and dating couples to find and meet platonic couple friends," since it understands that, "if you're married or in a committed relationship... it's difficult to meet couple friends."
Kupple says it's "an online community for couples seeking friendship, advice or simply looking to try out that new restaurant in town." Search by interest or activity to meet other couples in your area.
Finding other married couples to befriend isn't necessarily easy, but when you do find another couple with whom you seem to connect, it can be hugely beneficial to both your social life and the health of your relationship.
AnnaMarie Houlis is a feminist, a freelance journalist and an adventure aficionado with an affinity for impulsive solo travel. She spends her days writing about women’s empowerment from around the world. You can follow her work on her blog, HerReport.org, and follow her journeys on Instagram @her_report, Twitter @herreportand Facebook.