If Your Ex Wants to Be Friends, It’s Probably for One of These 7 Reasons



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AnnaMarie Houlis4.87k
Journalist & travel blogger
You broke up and, in your mind, it's done for good. You've had enough, or maybe you've been dumped. Whatever the case, you know it's best for you to keep your head held high and trudge forward.
The only thing is... your ex still wants to be friends. They still send you messages, reach out on social media and call you every now and again. Why does your ex still want to maintain a friendship, or at least some semblance of one? There is a multitude of reasons, but here are seven common motivations your ex might have for still trying to be part of your life.

1. They're not ready to open up to someone new.

You're a convenient, comfortable unpaid therapist. You've been the person they have always opened up to about their troubles, stresses, desires, goals, etc. And, suddenly, you're not there — but they still need an ear. Because opening up to someone new feels vulnerable still, they may still be reaching out to you because they know you've always been there for them.

2. They're not actually over you.

They still want to be in your life because they're not actually over the relationship. If they're still around a decent amount, it's likely because they're not ready to leave. 

3. They want to keep their options open.

It'd be too difficult to dive back in later down the line if you cut off all communications. But if you stay in touch, you can more easily jump back into the swing of things if you're not confident that you're ready to part ways.

4. They want to keep the good memories alive.

Especially if you've been dating someone for quite some time, it's likely that you have tons of memories together. Tucking those memories away in the back of your mind isn't easy. Parting with the past isn't an easy feat. So they might just be trying to keep those happy times alive.

5. They're interested in being friends with benefits.

Just because your relationship didn't work out as it was, doesn't mean that there's not room for another type of relationships — such as, perhaps, a friends-with-benefits situation. They might be hopeful that there's still a chance at holding onto some sort of romance with you, even if neither of you are willing to fully commit to one another.

6. They have a difficult time saying goodbye.

Saying goodbye is hard, and it's harder for some people than others, especially if they've dealt with loss in the past. A breakup can feel a lot like a death, as you're essentially losing someone in your life who has otherwise been a constant. They might, therefore, just have a tough time calling it over for that reason.

7. They want to keep the peace.

Perhaps you have mutual friends, or maybe you're colleagues at the same company. Your ex might want to stay friends for the sole reason of keeping the peace.
This article reflects the views of the author and not necessarily those of Fairygodboss.
AnnaMarie Houlis is a feminist, a freelance journalist and an adventure aficionado with an affinity for impulsive solo travel. She spends her days writing about women’s empowerment from around the world. You can follow her work on her blog, HerReport.org, and follow her journeys on Instagram @her_report, Twitter @herreport and Facebook.