What to do After Being Laid Off: Your Emotional Survival Guide

Surviving a layoff affects more than just your professional life—it affects everything from your budget and bank account to your physical and mental health, too. You could’ve been doing everything right—even constantly being praised—and still lose your job due to circumstances out of your control.

It feels deeply personal, even though it’s not. In fact, most companies cite economic conditions as the top reason for reducing workforce, and in 2023, the U.S. saw a 98% increase in planned job cuts (721,677), which was the highest annual total since the 2,304,755 cuts announced in 2020. 

As for 2024, since February of this year, a total of 84,638 people have been laid off from U.S.-based employers, which was the highest February total since 2009.

If you've landed here, chances are you're pondering what to do after being laid off. While it’s important to handle the practical side of matters to survive a layoff financially, it’s equally crucial that you address the emotional aspect of it—the good, the bad, and the ugly. 

We talked to experts and professionals who have been there, and they’re sharing their tips on how to manage those feelings and focus on what could come next.

Read more: 4 Steps to Take Right After a Layoff to Land Your Next Job ASAP

1. Acknowledge your feelings

“First and foremost, it’s essential to acknowledge and validate the range of emotions you may be experiencing—anger, sadness, anxiety, or even relief,” says Jeff Altman, MSW, CCTC, and founder and job coach at The Big Game Hunter, Inc. 

While these are natural feelings when faced with such a sudden life change—and may be tempted to deny—part of the healing process is accepting them and working through them.  

“Find healthy outlets to express and process these emotions, whether it’s through journaling, talking to a trusted friend or family member, people in a networking group to whom you trust, seeking professional counseling, or integrating these feelings into your existing therapy sessions,” Altman adds.

Read more: 5 People You Should Reach Out to After You’ve Been Laid Off

Andy Gray, Editorial Director at Supply Chain 24/7, was laid off from his previous role at lululemon in 2023, and said the mental part of the layoff was the toughest—and something not many people talk about. 

“I understood why I was laid off—business was down, layoffs were inevitable—and thought unemployment could be a nice break after 20+ straight years of working 9-5,” Gray says. “But I underestimated how miserable I’d be without my usual routine. They say applying for jobs is a full-time job but that’s really not true. You can spend a few hours a day but after a while, you just start seeing all the same positions and there’s only so much you can do.”

“There’s a ridiculous amount of value placed on where one works,” he adds. “I didn’t want to talk to my friends, I was embarrassed to meet new people and tell them I was laid off. It became my identity and I hated it. I also had about five jobs that I thought I was going to get an offer on—all of which fell through. But you really just have to stay positive, and it’s okay to cry every so often.”

Read more: 5 Lessons I've Learned From Being Laid Off

Damian Birkel, the founder of Professionals In Transition® Support Group, Inc. a nonprofit that helps people in their job search, has been through a layoff himself, and advises that before you do anything, you actually do nothing. 

“Hard stop,” Birkel says. “The last thing you want to do is job search when you’re angry, depressed, and feel vulnerable or ashamed. It’s natural to feel that way, but give yourself time to process this incredible, life-changing event and then plan a date to get away from the computer and into the community.”

2. Don’t take it personally

It’s normal to question why you lost your job and obsess over things you could’ve done differently, but more often than not, layoffs occur for reasons that have nothing to do with your professional abilities or contributions.

In fact, the top reason for job cuts in 2023 was market/economic conditions, followed by the fact that  a business was completely closing. It’s still hard not to take it personally, but it’s necessary to move forward.

“Everyone talks about financial implications, and rightly so, but the emotional impact of getting laid off can take a toll,” says Trevor Stewart, Internal Communications Manager at Gray, who was laid off from his previous role in 2022. “For me, I was notified my contract wouldn’t be renewed amid the holiday season, which made it harder to enjoy what is usually a happy time of the year with my wife and kids.”

“It was the first time I’d ever been laid off, so I took it pretty hard,” he says. “As a Christian, I had faith that everything happens for a reason—but it was still difficult to understand why I’d been let go. My team and I not only met but exceeded expectations, so I had to remind myself that this didn’t happen because I wasn’t good at my job.” 

That’s a key step to take, as Altman says one of the most common mistakes he’s seen is dwelling on the past and ruminating over what went wrong or what could have been done differently. 

“Often when companies make difficult decisions on the heels of changing business conditions or failed decisions by senior management, the decision to lay off someone feels personal, but isn’t,” Altman says. “A business, a department, a group, or a percentage of people are eliminated and choosing you has nothing to do with you. Often that realization provides comfort to people and helps them recover from the shock of being laid off.”

He says that while it’s important to reflect and learn from the experience, obsessing over it will only lead to a downward spiral of negativity and self-doubt. Instead, begin to focus your energy on the present and the future you want to create for yourself.

“Initially, it may seem difficult to do,” Altman says. “However, starting with small steps that stack on top of one another, you’ll make progress toward finding your next job.”

3. Switch your perspective

Darcy Eikenberg, PCC, executive and leadership coach at RedCapeRevolution.com, agrees that you shouldn’t take it personally, but that the truth is we’re human, and as humans, all our work is personal, filled with emotions—some helpful, some not.

“You don't have to be happy about the change, but you can change your thought about it from,  ‘This awful thing happened to me’ to ‘This happened to me, and I’m moving on,’" Eikenberg says. 

“We can’t help but react to what’s happening around us. We can, however, decide how we want to permit those feelings and reactions to affect our words and actions,” Eikenberg adds. “The mistake too many people make is dwelling in negative, low-power emotions for too long, treating themselves as a victim instead of accepting the circumstances and building a new plan from there.”

What’s too long? Eikenbery says that every person is different, and there’s no perfect science. But the sooner you can mentally accept the circumstances, the sooner you can move into positive action. 

It’s helpful to shift that perspective as you move forward, and take time to reflect on what it is you might actually want. 

“Were you happy at your old job? Was there a part of your job you liked more than others? Is there something you’ve always wanted to do more of?” Gray says. “It might be too late to do a full-on career change, but you can do a small tweak to what you were doing to something you want to do more of. The first step should be a 10,000-foot view from the sky of your career and whether you’re happy with its trajectory.”

Birkel adds that instead of looking at job loss as an abysmal failure, try instead to view it as an opportunity for growth and exploration. 

“Make the choice each morning to be both positive and proactive. Focus on the things within your control and take proactive steps to rebuild your career,” he says. “Set realistic goals and stay open to new opportunities.” 

Birkel created a “no list,” where he logged each rejection—and used it as motivation. “I was on ‘no #87,’ before I landed a job,” Birkel says. “I always told myself that with each no, I was one step closer to yes.”

For Stewart, it went even beyond his role in a professional setting. He reframed what his most important roles actually were—husband and father, trusted friend, and then productive employee. 

“Revisiting that hierarchy helped me through those several months without a job,” Stewart says. “I took my kids to school often and picked them up—just because I could. I was more available to help my wife with things around the house and projects. I leaned into my other more important roles and had faith the right jobs would come, and then I ended up getting two competing offers simultaneously.”

4. Establish a healthy routine

If you’re used to the structure and routine of full-time employment, suddenly having to adjust to a new way of life—even temporarily—can feel both under- and overwhelming. Altman advises continuing your existing routine or consciously creating a new one post-layoff.

“Structure and routine can provide a sense of normalcy and control during a time of upheaval,” Altmans says. “Wake up at a consistent time, engage in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment, and set small, achievable goals for yourself each day.”

Stewart advises that you make a schedule, one that doesn’t include spending eight hours a day applying to jobs—even though of course, you do want to find a job. But there has to be a balance. 

“Carve out a few hours daily to apply to new job listings but give yourself time to take care of yourself physically, mentally, emotionally, and even spiritually,” Stewart says. “I’m extremely goal-driven, so if I didn’t get at least 10 applications out daily, I felt like I wasted a day. I’m certain I applied to nearly 400 job postings during my time of unemployment. In reality, I should’ve focused more on quality and less on quantity, but in my anxiety and stress, I pushed myself to do more than sometimes I should’ve—to my own detriment.”

Heather Ebert, now a senior copywriter at Firstup, also went through a layoff last year.

“During the months I was unemployed, I allotted a certain amount of time each day to apply for jobs, then I logged off and spent time learning a hobby I'd wanted to explore for five years,” Ebert says. “The joy and fascination of what I was learning counterbalanced the anxiety and uncertainty, which made a huge difference in my day-to-day experience.”

5. Talk it out 

While you might initially feel shame or simply don’t want to address your situation, it’s important and healthy to talk it out with someone else.

“If you’re in therapy, schedule an extra session to discuss your changed circumstances,” Altmans says. “Bring them up to date and open up fully. You don’t have to go through this alone. Reach out to your personal and professional networks for emotional support, guidance, and potential job leads. Consider joining a support group or engaging with online communities of individuals who have been through similar experiences.”

If you don’t have the benefit of a therapist or mental health coach, it’s just important to reach out to anyone—a partner, parent, or friend—and be open with someone you trust about what you’re going through. 

“You’ll find that more people than you realize can relate to what you’re going through because they’ve been laid off before,” Stewart says. “Unfortunately, it happens to many people throughout their careers. But don’t just talk—listen to any advice or wisdom these folks have from their own experiences. They may provide you with great insight or perspective.”

Being a writer, Gray found himself using those professional skills to not only help land a new position, but also to inspire countless others who were facing the same situation. 

“I’m a writer, one of thousands who were unemployed looking for a job on LinkedIn,” Gray says. “So I posted about my experience, made it relatable, and got a bunch of interviews/calls as a result. You can write about anything associated with your career—just make it authentic and don’t use industry jargon that people glaze over.”

“People are unbelievably nice,” Gray adds. “Strangers were messaging me to offer help, former work colleagues got back in touch to see how I was doing, and old friends reconnected after decades to offer a hand. Maybe my niceness threshold is low—I do spend a lot of time on Twitter—but I was blown away by the positive response every time I posted.”

6. Make the most of available resources

If your former company offers any resources to help you move forward, take advantage of them any way you can. Stewart used a job coach provided by his employer, and that coach helped him hone in on his values and what he wanted for my next role—as did Gray.

“When I was laid off from lululemon, they not only gave me severance but also a membership to a career services website and a career coach,” Gray says. “My career coach Sang was great for my mental approach. She really motivated me to get myself out there through LinkedIn posting and comments instead of feeling bad for myself.”

Birkel advises that you use the time between jobs to increase your marketability through classes and certifications. 

“This demonstrates to potential employers a strong sense of urgency and ability to learn new things quickly,” Birkel says. “It also boosts your LinkedIn profile. In addition, physical or online career centers can be extremely helpful by providing information, tools, and perspective.”

Stewart agrees, adding “Don’t let your brain become dull by just applying to jobs all day—take online classes and use this additional time to learn a new skill that you can add to your resume that will make you stand out from the crowd. 

“Make time for fun and practice self-care and find the balance that works for you between a hard-working job seeker and your other life roles,” he adds. “Without balance, stress and anxiety can easily be the defining emotions of your period of unemployment.”

What not to do: Things that aren’t helpful after a layoff

Just as there are things you should be doing, what you don’t do during this time is equally as important.

“The human brain has a negativity bias, which means we're wired to see more of the negative than what’s positive, or even neutral,” Eikenberg says. “It’s why it’s essential to practice choosing our thoughts as intentionally as we choose the clothes we wear.” 

Because of this negativity bias, Eikenberg adds that one of the traps people can fall into after a layoff is joining groups or online chats where the conversation is about the hardship of the past, not about the opportunity for the future.  

“The old saying is that ‘misery loves company,’ but if you want to move out of your misery, avoid miserable company!” she says. “I’ll often suggest to people that if they discover that a group they’ve joined is full of complainers, then get out. Go join a professional group that puts you in proximity with people who are doing what you did or want to do. Alternatively, find a local nonprofit where you can volunteer your skills part-time and fill your calendar while you’re looking for your next opportunity.”

Gray adds that ironically enough, LinkedIn—where he found support and his new role—was actually both the best and worst of both worlds.

“The major thing—and I can’t stress this enough—was this ‘LinkedIn Paradox’,” Gray says. “I don’t know if it was my algorithm or if everyone has this experience, but my feed was all people posting about getting laid off. There were also recruiters or HR staff posting jobs, but even those were depressing because you’d see a great job posting, and then 50 comments from people saying they were applying.”

“The paradox is that LinkedIn is by far the best resource for jobs, so you need to be on it throughout the day. Especially because companies tend to look at the first 50 applicants and most jobs get 500,” Gray adds. “But I found my job after seven months of unemployment with no inside reference or friend at the company. I saw a Linkedin posting, applied, and beat out the other 200+ candidates. So rest assured it does happen.”

Birkel adds that it takes time, perspective, and perseverance, and that isolating yourself, ruminating on what happened and why, and believing that you’re completely washed up and will never find a job again won’t do a thing towards building a better future. 

“Take control of life by challenging negative thoughts and beliefs about yourself and your abilities,” he says. “You cannot change history. Instead, focus on your good work, strengths, accomplishments, and potential for future success. With the right strategy, at the right time, with enough effort, it will happen. You just don’t know when.”