25 of the Funniest New Year’s Resolutions

family celebrating New Year's Eve

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zoe.kaplan1.16k
writer, editor, semicolon lover.
Updated: 12/1/2019
A new year is a great chance to start fresh and orient yourself toward your goals. That’s why New Year’s resolutions are so exciting — they’re a way to plan out how you’ll be a new and improved person starting January 1st.
But, as many of us have found in our mid-January days, you don’t always get to every New Year’s resolution on the list. There’s guilt when we let our gym membership expire or when we go back on Instagram to scroll for another two hours. We mess up, we look at our nicely-written New Year’s note and think of how hopeful and positive we were at the end of last year. We don’t follow through and instead promise we’ll do it next year.
What if we took the pressure off New Year’s resolutions instead of taking them so seriously? Here are 25 hilarious New Year’s resolutions to brighten not only your day but also your entire next year:

25 funniest New Year's resolutions

1. 
Source: Twitter
Source: Twitter

2. 
Source: Twitter
Source: Twitter

3.
Source: Pinterest
Source: Pinterest

4. 
Source: Twitter
Source: Twitter

5.
Source: Twitter
Source: Twitter

6.
Source: someecards
Source: someecards

7.
Source: Twitter
Source: Twitter

8.
Source: Twitter
Source: Twitter

9. 
Source: Twitter
Source: Twitter

10. 
Source: someecards
Source: someecards

11. 
Source: Twitter
Source: Twitter

12. 
Source: Twitter
Source: Twitter

13. 
Source: Pinterest
Source: Pinterest

14. 
Source: Twitter
Source: Twitter

15.
Source: Twitter
Source: Twitter

16. 
Source: me.me
Source: me.me

17.
Source: Twitter
Source: Twitter

18. 
Source: Twitter
Source: Twitter

19.
Source: me.me
Source: me.me

20. 
Source: someecards
Source: someecards

21. 
Source: ihire.com
Source: ihire.com

22. 
Source: Twitter
Source: Twitter

23. 
Source: Twitter
Source: Twitter

24. 
Source: Pinterest
Source: Pinterest

25. 
Source: Twitter
Source: Twitter

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Zoë Kaplan is an English major at Wesleyan University in the class of 2020. She writes about women, theater, sports, and everything in between. Read more of Zoë’s work at www.zoëkaplan.com.

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