40 Funny Quotes About Work Stress to Get You Through the Week

No matter how much you love your job, work can be stressful at times. Maybe you’ve got a difficult coworker, or maybe your boss is piling on extra work with an unreasonable deadline. On days like these, a little laughter can help you power through. So, here are 40 funny work quotes about stress to read on your break.

Funny work and stress quotes 

1. “There cannot be a stressful crisis next week. My schedule is already full.” ­—Henry Kissinger

2. “If stress burned calories, I’d be a supermodel.” —Unknown

3. “If each day is a gift, I’d like to know where I can return Mondays.” —John Wagner

4. “The best part about going to work is coming back home at the end of the day.” —Unknown

5. “Keep calm and pretend it's not Monday.” —Unknown

6. “Some days, the best thing about the job is that the chair spins.” —Unknown 

7. “I stress about stress before there’s even stress to stress about.” —Unknown

8. “By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work 12 hours a day.” —Robert Frost

9. “If you had to identify in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be meetings.” —Dave Barry

10. “Stress level: extreme. It's like she was in a jar with the lid screwed on too tight, and inside the jar were pickles, angry pickles, and they were fermenting, and about to explode.” —Fiona Wood

11. “I was a little excited but mostly ‘blorft.’ ‘Blorft’ is an adjective I just made up that means ‘Completely overwhelmed but proceeding as if everything is fine and reacting to the stress with the torpor of a possum.’ I have been ‘blorft’ every day for the past seven years.” —Tina Fey

12. “What the world really needs is more love and less paper-work.” —Pearl Bailey

13. “I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.” —Jennifer Yane

14. “Even the calendar says WTF after Monday and Tuesday.” —Taylor Hanson

15. “Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn’t the work he’s supposed to be doing at that moment.” —Robert Benchley

16. “Fridays are the hardest in some ways: You're so close to freedom.” —Lauren Oliver

17. “I can’t believe it’s Monday again. It feels like it was just Monday yesterday.” —Andy Bernard, The Office

Funny quotes about work and stressful bosses

18. “I always try to go the extra mile at work, but my boss always finds me and brings me back.” —Unknown

19. “No man goes before his time—unless the boss leaves early.” —Groucho Max

20. “My fondest childhood memory is not having to spend 40 hours a week with people who make me feel angry and tired so that I can afford to buy paper towels and laundry detergent.”  —Unknown

21. “Accomplishing the impossible means only the boss will add it to your regular duties.” —Doug Larson

22.  “I’ve tried yoga, but I find stress less boring.” —Unknown

Read this next: 6 Questions Successful Women Ask Themselves Before They Quit a Job

Sarcastic and funny work stress quotes

23. “Here’s to another day of outward smiles and inward screams.” —Unknown

24. “Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called everybody, and they meet at the bar.” —Drew Carey

25. “Don’t worry, better days are coming. They are called Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.” —Unknown 

26. “As I have gotten older and wiser, I discovered there are six things that I really loved about my job. Pay day, lunch time, quitting time, vacation time, holidays and of course, retirement.” —Tom Goins

27. “This too shall pass. It might pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.”  —Unknown

28. “Sleep is such a luxury, which I can't afford.” —Robin Sikarwar

29.  “Stressed is desserts spelled backwards.” —Loretta Laroche

Funny work quote about stress and meetings

30. “Sometimes we can focus so much on nothing that we make it a big something of nothing.” —Ricky Maye

31. “Now, for the first time in my life, I empathize 100 percent with Fluff McFly. My heart is beating at hamster-speed and I am throwing my eyes around the room, looking for some way out.” —Robin Sloan

32. “Don’t underestimate the value of Doing Nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you can’t hear, and not bothering.” —Winnie the Pooh

Funny and motivational work stress quotes

33. “Being under stress is like being stranded in a body of water. If you panic, it will cause you to flail around so that the water rushes into your lungs and creates further distress. Yet, by calmly collecting yourself and using controlled breathing you remain afloat with ease.” —Alaric Hutchinson

34. “The most important reason for your ‘no’ is that you need your downtime so you won’t behave like a jerk because you’re depleted. And you don’t want to battle an appetite spiked by the stress of overcommitment. But that’s your secret; others don’t need that information. So just smile, say ‘no, thank you,’  and keep moving.” —Holly Mosier

35. “For every two minutes of glamour, there are eight hours of hard work.” —Jessica Savitch

36. “Talent is cheaper than table salt. What separates the talented individual from the successful one is a lot of hard work.” —Stephen King

37. “Work hard, know your shit, show your shit, and then feel entitled. Listen to no one except the two smartest and kindest adults you know, and that doesn't always mean your parents. If you do that, you will be fine.” —Mindy Kaling

38. “The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” —Oscar Wilde

39. “I have to be successful because I like expensive things.” —Lisa Lieberman-Wang

40. “If you must have motivation, think of your paycheck on Friday.” —Noel Coward

We all have times in life when stress management feels impossible because our stress levels are through the roof. If work stress has taken over your life (and funny quotes won't cheer you up), it might be a good time to talk to a mental health professional.