60 Jokes for the Office (That Won't Land You a Trip to HR)

It never hurts to have a few jokes in your pocket at work. From dad jokes to one-liners, puns and groaners can relieve a little stress, ease an awkward situation or just break the ice with that new employee. Even the worst joke, delivered well, will bring out a smile or at least clear the air. Check out the list below for your own joke of the day for work tomorrow. 

Just remember to avoid any NSFW materials — those considered not safe for work. Office-appropriate humor should adhere to "dry" comedy standards: avoid profanity, "dirty" jokes (or even too much innuendo), offensive language or humor that stereotypes or otherwise makes fun of any particular group of people.

1. Remember: teamwork is important. It helps put the blame on someone else. (Humor That Works)

2. What did the bartender say when she refused to serve Comic Sans a drink? "We don't serve your type here." (Best of Life Online)

3. My last job was helping a one-armed typist do capital letters. It was shift work. (Tickld)

4. You know what can really ruin a Friday? Remembering it's only Thursday. (Art Plus Marketing)

5. Why did the can crusher quit her job? Because it was soda pressing. (Laugh Factory)

6. What did the full glass say to the empty glass? "You look drunk." (Culture Amp)

7. I just heard the company's going to fire the employee with the worst posture. I have a hunch that might be me. (Quote Reel)

8. You know what a clean desk is a sign of? A cluttered desk drawer. (Indian Express)

9. Two snowmen are standing in a field. One says, "Now that you mention it, I smell carrots too." (The Joke Yard)

10. I got fired from the calendar factory. Don't know why — all I did was take a day off. (One Line Fun)

11. I always tell new hires, "Don't think of me as your boss. Think of me as a friend that can fire you." (Humor That Works)

12. I've been told I'm condescending. That means I talk down to people. (Tickld)

13. A customer returned a book on medical procedures. "Anything wrong with it?" the clerk asked. "Yes," said the customer. "Someone removed the appendix." (JokesClean)

14. What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing, they just waved. (Culture Amp)

15. Why did the taxi driver get fired for working so hard? Passengers didn't like it when she went the extra mile. (Best Life Online)

16. You know what kind of tea is the hardest to swallow? Reality. (Buzzfeed)

17. I'm great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive and procrastinate — all at once! (One Line Fun)

18. What did the duck say to the bartender when she ordered another drink? "Put it on my bill." (Humoropedia)

19. I'm out of bed and dressed — what more do you want? (Humor That Works)

20. Want to hear a joke about a skunk? Never mind, it really stinks. (Best Line Online)

21. I was a terrible psychic. I got fired and I never even saw it coming. (The Undercover Recruiter)

22. I just wrote a book on reverse psychology. Do not read it. (Best Life Online)

23. Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet? Because they spend so many years at C. (Culture Amp)

24. My job is pretty secure. No one else wants it. (One Line Fun)

25. To err is human. To blame it on someone else shows management potential. (Humor That Works)

26. A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor. (JokesClean)

27. What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick. (Funny Worm)

28. Why don't cannibals like to eat clowns? Because they taste funny. (The Joke Yard)

29. Why did the cookie go to the doctor? She felt crummy. (Buzzfeed)

30. Why is a doctor always calm? Because she has a lot of patients. (Jokes-Best)

31. Know why they're called the Dark Ages? Because there were a lot of knights. (Best Life Online)

32. What did the fish say when it ran into a wall? "Dam!" (The Joke Yard)

33. I used to want to be a historian. Then I realized there was no future in it. (The Undercover Recruiter)

34. I have an addiction to cheddar cheese. But it's only mild. (Best Life Online)

35. When an employment application asks for an emergency contact I always write, "A very good doctor." (FatJokes)

36. Want to hear a pizza joke? Never mind. It's too cheesy. (Culture Amp)

37. Who runs the Keebler elves' answering service? A tree-ceptionist. (Jokes Clean)

38. The boss told me to have a good day. So I went home. (One Line Fun)

39. What did the zero say to the eight? "Nice belt!" (Funny Worm)

40. You know who invented the round table, right? It was Sir Cumference. (Best Life Online)

41. The boss says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that... (Humor That Works)

42. A book fell on my head the other day in my office. I've only got my shelf to blame. (Funny Worm)

43. The boss tried to tell me that I intimidate everyone at the office, but I just stared at her until she apologized. (One Line Fun)

44. Why don't you ever see elephants hiding in trees? Because they're so good at it. (Culture Amp)

45. Want to hear a roof joke? It's on the house. (Best Life Online)

46. I don't mind coming in to work. It's the eight-hour wait to go home that gets to me. (Distractify)

47. You know what job I could really see myself doing? Inspecting mirrors. (The Undercover Recruiter)

48. I was told it's a good idea to start presentations off with a joke. So I made my pay stub the first slide. (Indian Express)

49. Want to hear my construction joke? I'll tell you later — I'm still working on it. (Jokes Clean)

50. My week's so rough that after Monday and Tuesday even my calendar says WTF. (Humor That Works)

51. Why did the scarecrow get promoted? Because he was out standing in his field! (Fatherly)

52. I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places. (Culture Amp)

53. If every day is a gift, I’d like a receipt for Monday. I want to exchange it for another Friday. (Humor That Works)

54. I quit my job at the helium gas factory. I refused to be talked to in that tone of voice! (Distractify)

55. Knock knock (who's there?) To (to who?) It's "to whom." (Culture Amp)

56. If at first you don’t succeed, redefine success. (Humor That Works)

57. Why did the developer go broke? Because he used up all his cache. (Culture Amp)

58. I used to work for a paper business. But then it folded. (TINYPulse)

59. When it comes to work, change is inevitable, except from the vending machine. (Humor That Works)

60. What's Forrest Gump's email password? 1forrest1 (Culture Amp)

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This article reflects the views of the author and not necessarily those of Fairygodboss.

Heather K Adams is a content and copywriter with decades of experience in storytelling across genres. In addition to writing for the business and commerce sectors, she is a poet, essayist and fiction writer.

What’s your best office joke? Share yours in the comments to help other Fairygodboss members!