Prioritizing What’s Important: How This Talent Leader Finds Balance as a Working Mom

Meet Mia Li: A working mom who has navigated both the fast-paced world of startups and the structure of larger organizations. After spending time in early-stage environments, she decided to return to a bigger company—one that could offer the resources and support she needed to grow her career while being present for her family and prioritizing self-care. At ByteDance, TikTok’s parent company, Mia found exactly that as a talent acquisition leader. While professional support plays a big role, she also credits her ability to balance work and home life to the unwavering encouragement of her family, community, and colleagues. 

“The compliment I often receive is about my ability to balance being a mom and having a career,” Mia says. “I want to clarify something I feel strongly about: I’m not doing it alone, I don't think anyone should have to, and we shouldn’t glamorize the concept. We shouldn’t put moms who appear to be ‘doing it all’ on a pedestal. It’s unrealistic and sets harmful expectations. Balancing work and family is possible, and it’s healthy to have support—let’s normalize this expectation." 

For Mia, comprehensive support has been key to integrating home, family, and work. “I took time off with my daughter and did some consulting, but I realized it was really difficult to manage everything on my own while also spending quality time with my family,” Mia explains. 

Here, Mia shares more about her day-to-day life, how she found the mental health care she needed postpartum, and the people and resources she relies on for her parenting and career journey. 

Tell us a bit about your job. What’s your current role, how long have you been in this role, and what were you doing previously? 

I’ve been at ByteDance since June 2021 and have been a talent acquisition leader for nearly three years. I lead a team of 25 to support ByteDance’s hiring needs across the Americas and Australia. I initially joined as a talent partner to support the Search team, a department within our Data organization.

I preferred returning as an individual contributor to give myself space and time. ByteDance created an environment where I could leverage my past experiences. I thought I would stay in my role for three or four years before becoming a leader, but transitioned to a leadership role much sooner. I sometimes hear a lot of moms hesitant to return to work because too much has changed. I think it’s OK to take a “step back” because you don’t lose the experience you’ve gained, but rather give yourself the time to ramp up at our own pace. 

Paint a picture of a typical day for me. How do you generally plan your work day, and how does this differ from your evening routine? 

Our schedule has constantly changed since we became parents, and it will continue to shift as family members’ lives evolve. This is a general schedule, so it doesn’t account for sick days or sleepless nights, which are more common than we think. 

Morning routine: More often than not, the first thing I do is hit the snooze button around 7 a.m. for an extra few minutes of sleep. My husband and I alternate “on duty” morning routines of getting our eldest ready for and to school. While she is having breakfast, we get ourselves ready. The younger one usually wakes up around 8 a.m. and starts her daily routine with the grandparent helping us. The parent on duty will commute with the eldest to school and work. On days that I am not on morning duty, I like to sneak in an extra 30 to 45 minutes of sleep. 

During the day: I spend the first hour of my workday setting up and prioritizing my day—preparing for meetings, requests from our global team, and following up with my team. After that, my calendar is usually filled with back-to-back meetings, interviews with candidates, or offer calls with candidates. The on-duty parent will pick up the older child from school and enjoy a 40+ minute commute in traffic. 

Evening routine: The off-duty parent is responsible for dinner, but on days when both need to go into the office, we order takeout. We usually have dinner together most nights. We spend at least 30 minutes of free play with the kids before starting their bedtime routine. Once the kids are asleep, I hop back online 2 to 3 nights most weeks. Occasionally, it’s related to evening meetings (due to working at a global company with team members across different time zones). Often, I’ve adjusted my daytime schedule to accommodate personal responsibilities and move my “heads down” time into the evenings. 

Attaining work-life integration can’t be done solo. What people, resources, and tools do you rely on to get it all done? 

I’m so glad this question acknowledges that it cannot be done solo! There are so many people and resources I lean on in my parenting journey: my husband—who truly partners with me to tackle everything in our life together, the grandparents, our nanny through COVID-19; my colleagues at work and school.

What does balance mean to you, and in what ways do you feel like you’ve achieved it? 

Everyone needs to define balance for themselves. It’s not a one-size-fits-all concept or a fixed idea of what’s normal or important. The misconception that work-life balance has one definition is something we need to move past. What’s important at one stage in life might not be at another, and that’s okay. Ultimately, it’s about reflecting on your current needs, setting priorities, and ensuring you have the flexibility to honor them. It’s a deeply personal and evolving concept. 

When I became a mom, I gave myself the opportunity to try being a stay-at-home mom for a year. I saved for it, built a support system, and explored what kind of parent I wanted to be. I loved that time with my child, but by the end of the year, I missed the mental stimulation of work and the social aspects of solving challenging problems with others. I identified what was most important: cherishing the routine—mealtime, dinner time, bedtime—and building core memories through vacations and experiences. These priorities have guided how I approach my life and career ever since. 

What’s your go-to stress-relief activity or routine? 

If I’ve had a rough day, usually, a hug from my two girls makes me feel a lot better—it’s cliche but so true. If I’m overstimulated, solitude helps me recharge. I enjoy using my brain, but there are times when solitude is what I need. This might be through sleep, such as a nap, going for a walk with the family when the weather permits, or watching a Korean drama or movie that is light and comedic. Some people prefer more extreme activities and that’s great, too! 

I also like walking around the neighborhood, admiring the architectural design and how function and form support or influence the people who live in their homes. It’s thoughtful and calming to the eyes. Even though it doesn’t directly relate to work, it can spark creativity in life in unexpected ways. 

How did you prepare for maternity leave, and what advice can you offer to other parents expecting their first child? 

With my last pregnancy, I informed my manager within weeks of finding out myself. A lot of women only share about their pregnancy after it’s “stable” after the first trimester and suffer alone when things don’t go as planned. At the time, my then manager of a year and a half was a childless, single male, but was a supportive leader whom I trusted. 

A couple of months later, I did the same thing with my current manager. It was important for me to inform my managers so that they understood the context of my situation. To be effective in my work and create an environment where I felt supported, I also had to be vulnerable and give my colleagues the opportunity to support me. Of course, this needs to be based on personal judgment—whether the manager and team could provide the support needed.

I also started to prepare for my absence—putting together resources, instructions, everything I could think of for my manager and team. I believe that while parental leave is a company benefit, it is the team members who support us in our absence. 

What type of programs does ByteDance offer to new and expectant mothers? 

I took both medical and parental-baby-bonding leave. There’s also a resource where you can access counselors and therapists for mental health support. I used that resource during my first couple of years at the company before I had my second child. 

I didn’t realize I was experiencing postpartum anxiety, and a close friend pointed out that the anxious fears weren’t healthy. It was eye-opening for me because I had the consuming anxiety since becoming a mom. I’d find myself spiraling into stressful thoughts that keep me up at night. Talking to a counselor helped me process and manage those anxieties. 

In addition, I used our medical insurance for prenatal chiropractic care. It helped relieve the strain on my back from the pregnancy weight. These resources were incredibly helpful, and I appreciated having them available when I needed support. 

What’s your No. 1 tip for new moms navigating working and parenting? 

Give yourself grace, and don’t get too comfortable with routines. 

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