What It’s Like to Be Quiet Fired: Stories from the Community

When we published our original article on quiet firing, we were unprepared for the outpouring of comments and stories from women who had experienced this subtle yet devastating workplace phenomenon. Your voices revealed the depth of emotional, mental, and professional harm that quiet firing can inflict. By writing this follow-up article, we aim to share your stories, explore the themes that emerged in the comments, and offer strategies to combat this insidious practice.

The comments we received paint a vivid picture of how quiet firing unfolds in workplaces across industries. Below, we spotlight some of these powerful stories, grouped by common themes.

1. The emotional and mental toll

One woman shared how her experience with quiet firing in 2020 left her so traumatized that she needed years of therapy to recover:

“They used a change in management and Covid as reasons to ‘lay me off.’ I knew they were doing everything possible to get me to quit. I stayed so I could get unemployment, but that was the worst move ever. I was so traumatized by staying there I couldn’t even consider looking for work.”

This story underscores how prolonged exposure to a toxic environment can take a heavy toll on mental health, making it difficult to move forward professionally and personally.

2. Operating in a male-dominated or biased workplace

Many readers shared their struggles with bias and inequity. One commenter, a former enterprise sales director, detailed her experience:

“Despite my success, I was consistently given the impression that I wasn’t doing enough. The CEO hired a male salesperson, gave him a far more senior title, and justified it by saying, ‘His salary is less than yours.’ The last six months at the job were torture. I was working 10+ hours a day and blamed for things beyond my control. Eventually, I planned my escape, but the experience was utterly demoralizing.”

This story highlights how workplace biases and unfair treatment can erode confidence and job satisfaction, pushing women out of roles they’ve excelled in.

3. Ageism in the workplace

Several comments revealed the heightened vulnerability of older women to quiet firing. One reader shared:

“I am 68 years old and was hoping to stay until 70, but it has been horrific. I’ve been given a supervisor who is condescending and loves to micromanage. It’s affecting my mental health, and I plan to quit before I’m terminated.”

Another added:

“Age discrimination is real and more common than you’d think. Over 40 is a protected class in the U.S., but older women experience this far more than others.”

Ageism, often compounded by sexism, leaves older women especially vulnerable to quiet firing, as their experience and seniority may be seen as liabilities rather than assets.

4. Toxic management and power dynamics

A recurring theme was the role of toxic supervisors in quiet firing. One commenter shared:

“My boss was far younger than me and hired me for my ‘experience.’ But she quickly started favoring a male colleague with fewer responsibilities and more recognition. I was denied vacation time and treated unfairly until I got the message and quit. The male colleague got my job entirely.”

Another revealed how documenting meetings with a toxic supervisor helped her secure severance and an “eligible to rehire” status:

“I wrote up summaries of every meeting with my supervisor and BCC’d them to my personal email. When I fought back against an unfair evaluation, I had the notes to support my case.”

Lessons and takeaways

From these stories, several common themes and lessons emerge:

• Self-advocacy is crucial. Documenting interactions and decisions provides a safety net if you need to challenge unfair treatment. (Here’s how to advocate for yourself at work as a woman.)

• Prioritize your mental health. Recognize when a toxic environment is harming your well-being and seek support, whether through therapy or trusted networks. (Here’s how to deal with a toxic work environment—until you can quit.)

• Reframe loyalty. While companies often market themselves as “family,” they ultimately prioritize their bottom line. Prioritize your own growth and happiness.

Strategies for surviving quiet firing

Unfortunately, quiet firing is always a possibility, and as we've learned, it's more common for women. Here are some actionable tips to always have in mind:

Document everything

Keep detailed records of meetings, directives, and any incidents of unfair treatment. This documentation is invaluable if you need to escalate the issue or negotiate a severance package.

Build a support network

Seek out mentors, colleagues, or external support groups who can offer guidance and emotional support. Knowing you’re not alone can make a significant difference.

Know your rights

Understand workplace protections, such as those against age and gender discrimination. If necessary, consult an employment lawyer to explore your options.

Plan your exit strategy

If the situation becomes untenable, have a plan in place. Whether it’s securing a new job or negotiating severance, a well-thought-out exit strategy ensures you leave on your terms.

Fostering change together

These stories illustrate the systemic issues of ageism, sexism, and toxic workplace cultures. Addressing these challenges requires collective effort. Here are a few ways we can advocate for change:

• Raise awareness. Share stories and resources to help others recognize and combat quiet firing.

• Support each other. Build communities where women can share experiences, advice, and opportunities.

• Push for accountability. Advocate for policies that hold employers accountable for creating equitable and supportive workplaces

The stories shared here are a testament to the resilience and strength of women who went through quiet firing. By amplifying these voices and equipping others with strategies and resources, we can foster a workplace culture that values fairness, respect, and inclusivity. Together, we can challenge the status quo and ensure that no one has to endure this experience in silence.