Real Talk: My Boss is Sleeping With My Husband

Awkward work relationships of any kind can make the office an awful place to be. But one FGB'er is living our workplace nightmare. 

“My boss [is] sleeping with my husband,” she wrote to the Community. 

“My boss is horrible to me and not very pleasant to other coworkers (don't know why she thinks she's entitled). Well, I just found out that she's sleeping with my husband, who also works at the same company. What can I do?”

Almost 20 FGB'ers reached out to offer support to her, and gave their own advice on the situation.

“Wow, this is so awful, and I'm sorry this happened to you!,” one poster wrote. “Highly recommend getting a new job and leaving your husband. No one deserves to be treated this way!”

“I would find proof and go to HR. This is abuse of power by your boss. Wow,” another FGB'er added.

A third said: “This really sucks. You need to verify that it's true, then divorce him. He chose to cheat on you — no matter if it's [with] your boss or anyone else. Then, ask yourself if you really want to stay there at that job. Your soon-to-be ex works there. Find another job without his knowledge (or your boss's). This is key! Then, you can leave both of them. You may want to seek someone you can talk to to help you through this stressful time.”

While we cannot tell you specifically to divorce your husband or leave your job, you need to put yourself first in this situation. 

But putting yourself first is subjective.  If  aside from your boss you truly love your job and your workplace, you should fight to stay. You have done no wrong, and you shouldn’t be forced to leave because of others’ decisions. However, it is important to think about whether you can continue to work in a place where this has been happening behind your back.

“Why should she have to leave her job? What if it’s her dream job?,” one woman asked in response to the post. “They are the ones who are being crappy people. I say, find proof. File for divorce. Report it to her boss. Maybe they’ll leave — either by choice or at the request of upper management.”

Another FGB’er recommended seeking legal advice.

It is important to protect yourself, your place in the company and your assets in this kind of situation.

“Get a lawyer. Now,” she said. “Protect your assets, remove his name as beneficiary from insurance policies, retirement accounts, etc. Put your paycheck in a separate account that he can't access. If you are co-signed on any loans, get your liability removed. Depending on company policy, you may be able to report both of them for having a relationship within the chain of command. Otherwise, there may not be anything else you can do about that. Once you have your assets protected, get an escape/exit plan. Your lawyer can help with that.” 

Again, we recommend taking this time to think about what you want and what will make you happy, whether that includes taking legal action, searching for a new job, separating from your husband or choosing to work it out.

If you have your own question, reach out to the Community to receive advice from other FGB'ers.