How can I recover from such a huge loss of confidence after multiple terrible work environments and crushing marriage?
I am really battling in my mind to believe in myself, but I really get triggered by the bad experiences. I had one manager who just didn't like me, which was made worse by a co-worker bully who wanted my job. He never had my back but I was good in this role and I loved my job. This happened during a time when I was getting divorced from a narcissistic husband and dealing with betrayal by family, so I felt very raw already, and I am sure this was the reason I was not treated well at work. I was already pretty beaten down which tends to create this dynamic, in my experience. How do I stop these random memories from discouraging me? I am in the middle of studying for classes that will help me to get ahead, but I get so discouraged with these reminders that I am not smart enough. There was once a time when I believed I was smart. It is a terrible battle that I can't seem to win within myself. I know how pathetic this sounds. I just remember that work environment and those awful people and manager. I am starting over right now in a position that is lower than I would like, but I hope that with my certification I will be able to make some big changes. I just need to have that confidence!
Brooke
18
11/20/24 at 11:42PM UTC
I can relate. I've had so many bad job experiences in the last five years. Is it post-Covid Corporate America, is it a new generation in charge, or is it me? Maybe I'm just not smart enough. Anyway, I know how it feels.
Anonymous
03/30/24 at 4:15PM UTC
I found a therapist and she is great. She listens and makes suggestions. Some times you need medication for sleep or mild anxiety or depression. See if your PCP can recommend someone or get a recommendation from a friend for a therapist or a practive.
Star7spouse of retired military
264
03/01/24 at 4:29AM UTC
Ugh....sounds like what I experienced. My boss who was not nice, is now the CFO, and my former coworker is now my boss...and not a good one, and has favorites. May end up asking for a transfer, and/or lawsuit or union grievance. The narc stuff if you are getting that at work and home is so detrimental. Yes, you are going through a lot of change, and then if you are in circumstances and people that are toxic...I will include you in my prayer list, it's growing
Anonymous
03/02/24 at 11:05AM UTC
Thank you so much.
Anonymous
02/03/24 at 4:35AM UTC
I would consider therapy to help you identify self-defeating patterns you can't seem to stop. Good short-term therapy can provide you with tools to understand these patterns and ways to stop them and giving you tools to replace them with confidence and control.
Once you understood how your mind works and how you can take back control, you can deal with triggers and stop the pattern before it takes over.
Anonymous
03/25/24 at 8:53PM UTC
Yes came here to say therapy. You have survived through several traumatic experience and you need to find a way to process them and the flashbacks. Find a trauma informed therapist to help you. It will get better.
ppines
143
02/03/24 at 3:12AM UTC (Edited)
I am sorry you have had such a hard time.
I have a few suggestions that may help:
*Recognise what you're good at
*Build positive relationships and avoid /reduce the time spent with negative people
*Be kind to yourself
*Learn to be assertive
*Start saying "no"
User deleted comment on 02/03/24 at 2:03PM UTC
