My Best Friend is mad at me for dating her ex boyfriend but i mean he is her ex and we really really both really really love eachother and everytime i ever even speak she just says something mean and then we start fighting constantly and then the next day we are best friends again so what should i do cause i know i cant breakup with him cause we both really love eachother and i really want to keep her as a bff so what should i do
Anonymous
01/15/21 at 1:49PM UTC
Your bestfriend probably felt betrayed by you. If you were bestfriends when they were still together, she must have shared some things with you about their relationship & until their breakup. Getting together with this guy, your bestfriend's ex is an act of betrayal. Did you even inform her that this guy asked you out and that you're starting to have feelings towards him? As a sign of respect to your bestfriend, did you ask for her blessing? #sistersbeforemisters
Anonymous
01/28/21 at 7PM UTC
I agree completely with you. Unless my bff gives me actual permission and a blessing to date one of her exes - it wouldn't happen. Seems to me that your friendship is damaged beyond repair. And you have zero awareness for how she is feeling. To say, "but I mean he is her ex"...so? When people break up - it's not fair to think their feelings just end at the same time. You are her best friend. There is a code of honor that goes along with that title. You, my dear, get zero empathy from me. I'm on your (soon-to-be former) best friend's side on this. What you and her ex-boyfriend have done is incredibly hurtful. It is truly an act of betrayal on your part. She's hurting, deeply. And for you to have no empathy towards her is astounding to me. I wouldn't want to hang out with you, either. And if I did...I'd probably be pretty snarky with you, too. She gets to be snarky and hurt. You don't get to judge her or be upset that she's hurt. Do you tell her that the two of you are soooo in love? Don't. Just don't. That's not nice. THAT is mean. So mean. Cruel, in fact. It's like you're rubbing her failed relationship in her face. Would YOU want to continue to be best friends with someone who is dating your recent ex? If you want to truly repair this friendship - first apologize for being so incredibly insensitive to her needs/wants/emotions. You could try to break up with her ex-boyfriend and see if that helps at all. But I don't know if it will. I, personally, would never trust you around any man I'm dating. And I'm pretty sure she feels the same way. It may be that you've lost your best friend over this. You need to make a choice here - your bff or her ex-boyfriend. Your choice.
