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Discussion Question

Boss degrading behavipr

I have been working for twenty plus years. In the last 5 years I have been under the same boss. This person is very degrading. He usually sets his sites in one particular person and that person is his target. He humiliates, degrades and throws in some swearing. At the end of the meeting you feel like you've been beaten down. Its almost as if it's all a show for the other people. Women seem to be a frequent target. There was a particular incident that he was screaming so loud on the phone that we heard his ranting all through the building. It's not easy to just throw everything you've worked for away and quit but sometimes I think it's cone down to more than simply sucking it up and letting it go. Any thoughts?

Fairygodboss member Anonymous

  • Fairygodboss member

    I had a boss like this. Initially he was a very nice and friendly person but in time, I found that just about anything would tick him off. He would just yell at the top of his voice and insult women especially single women. He would not pay us right either. The company was going through a financial situation so I wondered if he was trying to make people quit or something. In my case, he was the owner of the company too. I tried to stick around hoping it was just a phase but after enough insults, I felt like he was never going to quit because he was the owner so I found another job which turned out to be a place without this type of harrasment.

  • Fairygodboss member

    I have a similar boss, HUGE turnover, clients joked "you're still there"... I wrote him an email as I noted 'confronting' him did not accomplish anything; actually aggravated the situation. In the email, I treated him as a 'narcissus' and complimented his achievements, work ethic...then pointed out how his behaviour affected the culture and 'bottom line' of HIS business. He's an intelligent man and has been trying to 'control himself'... It's a start and we have a good positive work environment most times. Good Luck!

  • Fairygodboss member

    As I read this letter I could have thought it written by my daughter, but the bosses that pushed her to the brink were women. Don't think that only men harass others. Everything written above also could have been her writing it. Harassment is done by those who feel inadequate and inferior and the only way they can feel important is to bully others. It is sad because everyone knows how inadequate these people are, yet don't stand up and protect those being bullied. As for going to HR - it made no difference at my daughter's job (which was with a VERY big company). She had been there eleven years and created programs that enhanced the company all across the US. Another girl left less than a week after my daughter for the same reasons. This was in early summer and they have not been able to fill these two positions because word has gotten around about how awful these bosses are. HR admitted that they knew there was a problem. My daughter was denied the package she should have received after 11 years but decided instead of fighting for it she just wanted to have a life again. There are a lot of nasty people in the workplace and a lot of talented, smart people who quit the workplace because of them. My daughter is happier and will contribute her talents elsewhere when the time is right. The ones who lost were the company who lost her. So sad because her contributions made a big difference within the company.

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