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Discussion Question

I think I'm being mommy-tracked at work and it's incredibly

I think I'm being mommy-tracked at work and it's incredibly frustrating. I'm two months back from maternity leave and putting in the same hours as I used to but I'm getting these subtle signs that I'm not taken as seriously -- ranging from not being asked about wanting to spearhead things to the stink eye when I walk out the door (at the same time I roughly used to leave the office). What should I do?

Fairygodboss member Anonymous

  • Fairygodboss member

    I’m sorry you’re getting these unhelpful responses. Unfortunately negative attitudes towards mothers are still prevalent in the workplace. Employers with cultures that demand devotion to the company above family, personal life, and all else have made basic human acts like caring for children a “problem”. If you’re in that situation, you have a few options: discuss your desire to take on more responsibility with your supervisor, keep your head down and hope for change, or begin searching for a new position. If you feel that you’re experiencing true discrimination (meaning adverse action that you can clearly link to your parental status), you should speak with an employment lawyer or your union, if you’re lucky enough to have one.

  • Fairygodboss member

    Part of "equality in the workplace " is alleging women to prioritize their families . I had to go back to management three separate times to get time off for my daughter's senior college recital. This is unfair.

  • Fairygodboss member

    This happened to me when I had my second child. My childless female boss kind of unilaterally started shutting me out of meetings and discussions, and things devolved from there. I lasted there three more years but was the first one let go when the (small) company downsized. It was definitely discriminatory but at the same time I have to own that I could have handled things differently. Part of your feelings may be entirely internal, because you have undergone a radical internal shift and you know in your heart that your priorities have changed, even if you ability and interest in your career haven't. Consider that you are still super hormonal and maybe too sensitive as a result. And realize that your co-workers do not care At All about your bundle of joy, it's health and milestones, whether you got three hours sleep, etc. Even if THEY are the ones who ask you about it. I would advise you to keep any and all mommy talk out of the office, as much as humanly possible. It sucks, but not everyone is evolved enough to deal with the fact that you can do both jobs. Hopefully as time goes on you will have an opportunity to show them.

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