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Discussion Question

My husband is completely oblivious to the fact that while

My husband is completely oblivious to the fact that while we both work long days, I tend to be the one staying up to wash bottles and get everything ready for daycare the next day, while he is relaxing on the couch. It's hard enough keeping up with everything, but now I'm getting resentful. How do I make him realize this just isn't right?

Fairygodboss member Anonymous

  • Fairygodboss member

    Put the baby bottles and carrier bag in front of him on the coffee table. Put some more empty baby bottles on the hood of his car. Guys r clueless, talking won’t work, prompts do. :)

  • Fairygodboss member

    I agree with the above. Men and any company director responds well to clear expectations as well as solutions. Try to take the emotion out of it if at all possible. Say something along the lines of “I know you work really hard all day and definitely need some down time when you get home, which you are definitely entitled to, but I’ve been noticing how burnt out I am starting to get after a long day at work then coming home, taking care of the baby, making dinner, cleaning up, and getting ready for the next day. I feel as though if I keep this up I’m not going to be the partner/mother/employee that I want and everyone deserves me to be. Would you be willing to help me with that? Could we alternate evenings getting things ready for the next day or one of us gets the baby fed, bathed, and to bed while the other gets things ready for tomorrow so we can have time together before bed?” Something along those lines. I think if you state your feelings and the solution it could work out nicely. I hope this helps : )

  • Fairygodboss member

    One thing you must realize is he'll never get the message unless you are very clear about your expectations. Your best bet is to sit him down some evening when he is well rested and fed and spell out exactly what you need for him to do. If it's easier, and he's a person who responds well to lists, write everything out for him so there is no confusion. Don’t stew about this silently and above all, do not hint or become passive aggressive. Men need to know exactly what their partners want or they will remain oblivious and clueless.

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