Do you hide your parent status when interviewing?
I know this may seem odd but I never bring up the fact that I have kids in an interview because I'm afraid the interviewer will think I can't be committed, motivated and work hard. I hate doing this but in prior roles I have interviewed for, I feel like I got rejections because I brought up I have kids.
What are thoughts on this?
Anonymous
04/01/25 at 12:57AM UTC
If it comes up answer correctly, but if not, no need to bring them up, they won't get you the job. Even the question 'tell me about yourself' doesn't need to include you're a parent. Don't overthink this.
Tina Moreno
Connecting Ambition, Inspiring Success
507
03/31/25 at 3:51PM UTC (Edited)
This is such an important question—and I want to thank you for asking it so honestly.
I’m responding from the perspective of both an employer and a woman who’s chosen not to have children. That said, I train all of our managers never to ask about familial or parental status during interviews, not just because it’s irrelevant—but because in many states, it’s actually illegal.
The only thing that should matter in an interview is whether you can meet the requirements of the role. If the job is 8am–4pm with occasional late evenings, then your response could be something like:
“I’m available during the required hours, and if there are occasional needs to stay late, I just ask for notice so I can make the proper arrangements.”
That keeps the focus where it belongs: on your ability, not your identity.
You’re also interviewing them—so ask the real-world questions you need answered:
What’s the day-to-day like here?
What flexibility do employees typically have?
How does the team support work-life balance?
I wouldn’t proactively bring up your parent status in the interview—not because you have anything to hide, but because unfortunately, some employers still operate from outdated assumptions about what being a parent “means” for your work performance. If that bias exists, and they reject you because of it, honestly? You dodged a bullet. You want to be in a workplace that values what you bring to the table and understands that everyone has a life outside of work.
You’re committed. You’re capable. And you don’t have to prove otherwise by hiding who you are—you just need to make sure you’re stepping into a company that sees the whole picture. ?
Anonymous
03/30/25 at 12:38PM UTC
It is illegal but it one hundred percent happens. I've even had hiring managers.Tell me they don't want to hire young women because they might run off and have babies. Legally , they are not allowed to ask but honestly if I were you I would continue to not bring it up.
Anonymous
03/29/25 at 9:09PM UTC (Edited)
I was asked if I had kids in an interview. It ended up being one of, if not the most toxic place I have ever worked. I should have walked out after that question.
Tami L Cannizzaro
1.01k
03/28/25 at 6:40PM UTC
As others have stated, do not bring up family, kids, or other personal information such as age, health issues, etc. It's illegal for companies to ask us these questions, yet if we hand the information to them it's fair game. The information can become "unconscious bias" and be used against us, even if the hiring manager doesn't really mean to. This is especially common for women. Let's say the job requires late nights and travel, and I casually mention children during the interview. The hiring manager may think, Wonder if she'll be able to work late? What about the travel requirements? AND they will compare me to the other candidates who said nothing about kids. They don't know that perhaps I have already made arrangements for this, or have a nanny. Point is, we don't want to give any reason for them to choose someone else over us.
LauraCareer Breaker Coach
637
03/28/25 at 6:22PM UTC
There's no reason to bring up the fact that you have children. The focus of an interview should be on how you are the best fit for the position rather than on your family situation. As someone else said, you shouldn't even be asked these type of questions and if you are that's a red flag and if you're personally volunteering this information ultimately what purpose are you hoping that will serve?
Anonymous
03/28/25 at 5:05PM UTC
Don't bring them up and you certainly should not be asked about whether you have kids, your family status, etc.
Anonymous
03/28/25 at 4:03PM UTC (Edited)
First and foremost, you should never be asked personal questions such as your parental status, marital status, or anything of that nature. It's very natural to want to talk about ourselves in an interview. If the interviewer asks, tell me about yourself, leave out your marital and family status. Tell them about you as a worker. If the interviewers do ask about a personal status that's a big red flag. I just sat in an interview with someone that put a picture of their family on a presentation. Letting us know, that was his priority. It didn't sway me from my feedback, it actually heightened my awareness that his family is very important to him. Was it appropriate? Probably not. I'll be honest, he didn't live in our town, and would have to commute 3 hours a day. As a previous recruiter, I can tell you, it may sound appetizing at first to drive that much per day, but in reality, it gets old. And fast. We learned also that he wasn't going to move here until his son graduated from high school. Also, not interested but he shared it. There you go, it's out in the open. Do I think you may have been rejected because of your family ties? Maybe, but not sure exactly what prompted you to bring it up, did you get asked? All this to say, I liked the interviewee was a family man and loves his family. It's one thing for the interviewee to bring it up (like you mentioned), but not an interviewer to ask your family status. I'm single, have no children, but if I were asked in an interview about that, it would be a huge red flag for me. My skills just like your skills should be what they are learning about and hoping to find a good fit. Now, if you feel you were rejected for jobs because you have children, that's actually against hiring practices. But in the future, leave your family ties off the table, focus on what you actually bring to the table and company and how your skills match.
