What’s a good way to tell my “boss” I’m not available for work over the weekend?
I put boss in quotation marks, bc she’s not really my boss, but I say that for lack of a better term right now. Let me explain.
I won’t get too specific, but let’s just say I was hired for a new part-time unpaid role (a very important one). Simultaneously, another woman was hired as well in a more prominent role. Her role can be full-time or part-time. I know it will be full-time for her. I think she may be paid a small stipend.
Anywho, she has been contacting me a lot. Even before we were both hired. She has my cell number, so she’s been contacting me via call and text. She’s now asking me for my email address, and I don’t want to send it to her. Our company email addresses aren’t active yet, and I think she could wait until then (we don’t officially start until January). She asked for this yesterday evening. I didn’t respond for a number of reasons. She called and then texted me again this morning asking for my email address.
I wouldn’t mind if I didn’t think she would spam me based on our past interactions. But also, it’s the weekend. I started to tell her I would have to get back with her on Monday and that I won’t be responding to anything over the weekend. My colleague told me that sounded rude. I don’t want to seem rude, but I can already tell I will need to set boundaries with her.
To add, I have a full-time job outside of this role (which again, we haven’t officially started). I know that she doesn’t. I plan on giving this role an appropriate amount of time and energy, but it can’t have all of my energy in the way that it can for her.
She’s a nice, smart, resourceful woman, but the communication is a bit much for me. Am I doing too much? Thoughts?
Amelia Vierra
44
01/03/22 at 10:42PM UTC
It's never rude to establish boundaries with someone. Just keep it matter of fact and let her know you'll get back to her during business hours.
Anonymous
12/13/21 at 1:55PM UTC
I started muting conversations with my boss on the weekends. I would then look at the messages with my boss. I would then look at the messages Monday morning. It’s not ideal, but I found I could do very little to change other people’s behavior. I could just change what I did about it.
Anne Promo model for fun(pay) in past
271
01/06/22 at 3:43PM UTC
Haha love it!!! Mute baby!
Anonymous
12/13/21 at 4:09AM UTC
You’re unpaid? You have no obligation to do anything here.
User deleted comment on 12/13/21 at 4:07AM UTC
Anonymous
12/12/21 at 9:41PM UTC
You are a volunteer, not an employee. Your time is unpaid.
You are entitled to whatever you need.
Anonymous
12/12/21 at 12:44AM UTC
Block her and never work without pay. Quit. Sorry, they've invaded your privacy enought.
She's not nice. She's manipulative and resourceful in that she is going to annoy you to do everything you don't want to do. Again, she's not nice.
Anonymous
08/26/24 at 5:29PM UTC
I'm the original poster here, and I'm reading this three years later. I stayed in that position with her for two years, and you were absolutely right. She was extremely manipulative and not nice at all. She made the roles into something they weren't meant to be, and she was eventually kicked out of the organization. We are still playing clean up from her messes. The only thing that keeps me going is knowing that I'm helping others, or at least trying to. It has been at the expense of my mental health, but I'm hanging in there for now.
Emily StarkCareer Coach, Marketable Mama, LLC.
133
12/11/21 at 12:01AM UTC
This is such a great question that tends to pop up a lot, especially now with so many communication channels. I recommend scheduling a regular check-in with her. In my experience, that's been an effective tactic to streamline overcommunication. Then, you'll preventatively address topics or remind her of the next check-in time during the week if something pops up over the weekend. I hope this helps!
JenSenior Account Manager
140
12/10/21 at 9:55PM UTC
It sounds like your thought about what to tell her is completely reasonable, and you are right, you will have to set boundaries with her (and better now than later). It can certainly be done nicely. Decide how you want your time to look in this part-time role, and simply tell her, "I thought this would be a good time to explain how I'll be navigating communication while I maintain focus on my other commitments...." And then lay it out. You could even do this in an email versus text, so it's a clear record (and she gets your email address). Once you have laid out exactly how and when you plan to communicate, don't write to her outside of those times. Ignore the messages until your designated communication time. If it stresses you out to see messages coming in from her even after you've drawn the line, turn off the notifications or have them filtered to a special folder automatically. There is nothing rude about this, especially since you're not starting until January!
Anonymous
12/10/21 at 9:45PM UTC
Your position is volunteer and with that status comes some latitude in deciding your availability.
Anonymous
12/10/21 at 9:44PM UTC
Boundaries your explained are perfectly appropriate.
No reason you needs your private email. If she prefers to email let her know as soon as company emails are setup her enquiries can go there and let her know that you'll be checking that during work hours. Ask her to please not use your personal cell phone and that if she needs a cell number during work hours to order you a cell phone for business purposes and you will use thar during work hours.
If your unpaid position is important to the organization, these requests should be well within reason.
