I have a connection at an EdTech company where I applied for a job over the summer.
He was really great about passing along my resume to the right person, giving me the low-down on the dept/job, and just generally being a wonderful inside connection during my interview process.
They offered me the job, and I ended up declining it because there were things that felt too high risk for me at the time. I feel bad in how I handled things with him because I never followed up to let him know I declined the job, or to thank him for how helpful he was. (I forgot, as it was a crazy busy time while I had my son home 100% of the time, as a single FT working mom....out of character for me to forget to thank someone!).
I would like to do something now to share my appreciation with him and how he helped me. I thought about sending a gift card or something, but is it that too over the top? Should I simply send a belated thank you?
I'd send him a "long over due thank you letter", not email, and explain exactly what you just said. Add in a "I hope you understand." I'd also tell him why you didn't follow up with him, as he put his reputation on the line for you.
Take the opportunity during the holidays to send a thank you and mention your appreciation of passing along your info. "And while that particular opportunity didn't work out, I am still very interested in working with great people like you and hope we will have that chance in the future". Thank you again.