I feel like I'm running on a hamster wheel with an employer who doesn't pay me what I'm worth and a manager who is very toxic and micromanaging.
I would love to find something else, but I don't quite know how to market myself with the disparate skills I picked up in my nearly 4 years at my current role. Even though my hours are reasonable and I live by the "quiet quitting" method, I am still too burned out in the evenings to look for work, and on weekends I'm barely catching up on life/sleep/health/family time etc. Time is passing quickly - has anyone been in a similar situation and gotten out of it? It's hard to know where to begin. I'm actually in a financial position where I can take time off, but the guilt from doing so doesn't sit well with me. Guilt from a cultural perspective, and guilt from a professional perspective - what I do is crucial for the company in the next 2 months.
Update - Thank you for the comments. Actually the idea to do it in "bite sized chunks" makes things feel less overwhelming. But of course it's never just about the job. I'm actually also planning a wedding reception and we want to start a family this year. So the overwhelm is 360 degrees. haha Of course having a healthier work environment or even being able to be hybrid feels like it'll be helpful at this time, so the job part of things feels like it's more within my control. (but is it, really?)
Shelly Edwards
1.43k
10/11/22 at 1:59PM UTC
You get out of it by prioritizing yourself. I get you're tired when you get home, but you have to remind yourself that you are the only one who can prove your situation. So push yourself to apply for jobs. Take the time to try to make it better.
Audrey Kirsch
2.54k
10/10/22 at 10:43PM UTC
No matter how crucial your work is, should you have a health or family emergency, someone else would have to complete your work. No matter how we like to think it, none of is irreplaceable. You have to carve out time to make a change. Think about what you'd like to be doing, set small attainable goals in that direction and remind yourself that you deserve better. Having a set time each day (10 minutes or more) and specific goals broken down into tiny bits will keep the process manageable. It will be like a hobby of investing in yourself and your happiness.
Anonymous
10/10/22 at 8:12PM UTC
Try to make "looking for work" something with bite sized chunks and deadlines. Also, set achievable goals for yourself like "I will spend 1 hour this week doing something related to looking for another job". That way you have 60 minutes that you need to spend in 7 days looking for a job or doing something related to looking for a job, it's basically 10minutes a day, or 30min on two days, or 60 minutes on one day. However, you want to do it.
You mentioned you aren't sure how to market yourself. Maybe the first goal is to figure out how to market yourself and get your resume and linkedin polished. Once you have that done, you can be passively looking for jobs by having your linkedin set to "looking for work" or whatever that setting is officially called, to attract recruiters.
Do some research on the types of jobs that you want. Set a goal/deadline for determining that.
Setup alerts on different sites (linkedin, here, indeed, specific companies you are interested in), and have them send you updates about newly posted jobs that match your interest. That way, when you are ready, you aren't actually spending time looking for jobs. Instead, you are opening emails with lists prepared for you.
All of the above can be done in the next couple of months. That way when your critical stuff is done, you will be ready to start actively job hunting.
In regards to quitting this job without a new job and feeling guilty. Would you feel guilty if you were volunteering or working part time during that time? Finding a new job would obviously be your first priority, but if you had something else constructive to also fill your time with, maybe that will help reduce your guilt? Something to consider.
Anyways, good luck! :)
Anonymous
10/10/22 at 7:04PM UTC
Well you can't prioritize guilt, critical work or you need to unwind on weekends. When you are truly ready to make a move, you will prioritize your networking and job searching without finding reasons to avoid it.
Since you feel deeply responsible for the critical work you are responsible for the balance of the year, I would prioritize your current responsibilities and try and build in some rest over the holidays and any downtime you might have.
Revisit your dream of a new job next year when you aren't feeling so guilty.
Anonymous
10/10/22 at 6:57PM UTC
If you manage to get through the next two months and do something clearly of value to the company, you could add that to your resume and emphasize all of your recent achievements as part of your skills. After doing that, you could use any vacation time you have (or even take a week's unpaid leave) to look polish your resume, look around, and get some rest before deciding on your next steps. Another thought-- if it's mainly the manager who is a problem, could you transfer to another department? It wouldn't solve the pay problem but might give you your energy back. It is so draining to be micromanaged. I'm going through that right now. On the rare day when the micromanager isn't there, I could dance through the hallways because work is so much happier and lighter. Unfortunately, this person comes close to earning a perfect attendance award!
