I've only shared my recent layoff with my partner.
I have not told my friends or other immediate family. When they ask how work is going, I just say fine. Should I tell them or is it none of their business? Anybody else have this situation?
Christine M
84
03/25/24 at 10:28PM UTC
I told everyone when it happened to me. I figured I would start with people that knew me, everything I read said you find jobs through networking. I was very clear about what type of role I was looking for my next role.
Anonymous
03/22/24 at 4:39AM UTC
Good luck. Being laid off sucks. You may be going through a lot of thinking and feeling---of all the things. If you're asking, maybe take it one step at a time. Shore up your supports. If that's people, great. If that's just your partner for now, that's okay too.
I agree with a lot of the suggestions. Boundary setting, especially during a trying situation can be tricky (esp. if you're not sure/ ready/ triggered, etc.). Something to consider is what do you want to say to whom -what do you want to achieve from sharing- and do it when you're ready. Some family /friends just aren't capable of being the support you need (and it has the potential to hurt you more - esp. if you're still upset). Some may surprise you. Some will make a lot of assumptions (based on their experiences or their perceptions of what you need). Be prepared to guide them. You may discover something about your relationships.
Tell whomever you want, whenever you want. You may choose not to. It may also be done in stages (depending on your needs). If you do share, I recommend keeping it brief (no office drama details). In a way, this can be your practice of how to phrase things moving forward. Only truly trusted inner circle (or an unbiased therapist) can be your confidante for the emotional support/ or weedy conversations about "how will I pay my bills." If you choose to share, you can let them know that you were recently laid off (e.g. due to company reorg) and you're looking for work. They'll either follow your lead and be supportive or they'll push / comment (and you'll need to decide your boundaries). You may even wish to send an email and include any requests (like I'm just keeping you in the loop and I'll ask if I need help)- this can show that distance is requested.
I have been in your shoes - and at least for me- I've learned who I can count on - for what- (and who I can't)- also what they're going through (offering gratitude or forgiveness where it's helpful)--- and I also learned about my inner strength.
Another thing to consider, even when you have a job, is to change the subject. I started saying to friends (both when I was employed and unemployed)---"you know, I'm not interested in talking about work. I'm more interested in X (be it a hobby, or learning something, a discussion topic, etc.)."
I wish you all the best.
Anonymous
03/18/24 at 7:32PM UTC
I told my close friends and family. I kept it OFF social media other than LinkedIn for professional reasons.
I stopped FB long ago because of "you need to work ".
Anonymous
03/18/24 at 6:53PM UTC
Totally appreciate if you don't want your personal business broadcast. Some families are not equipped to be supportive and you end up feeling less than or otherwise upset or hurt. You do what makes sense for you.
On the other hand, sometimes someone in your circle knows someone and they have the job that is perfect for you. It's a long shot but those serendipitous events make life interesting.
Good luck! Being laid off sucks tremendously, I know. Been there, done that. I hope you find the job, career you want and need. Hugs!
Anonymous
03/18/24 at 6:41PM UTC
Immediate family, none of their business? If they're asking, what would keep you from bringing them into the circle of trust? You do you, you share with who you feel comfortable with. IMO this is too much of the focus and are you moving on?. Again, you do you.
Anonymous
03/18/24 at 6:37PM UTC
I'm pretty transparent with my inner circle of family and friends only because I need emotional support and positive energy while I search for my next role. I like the feeling that I'm not alone.
Anonymous
03/18/24 at 5:56PM UTC
It depends upon your friends and family. If you feel that they are going to be supportive, then you should tell them. There is nothing to be ashamed about, layoffs happen. But if knowing that information is going to be weaponized or make you feel worse about yourself, then don't. For example, when I was laid off my relative's immediate reaction was: "Well what about this? What about that? Do you think you will lose the house?" It was not at all helpful. The same person then went and told others because it was the newest gossip. If you smell that type of toxicity, you have every right to protect yourself from that. BUT, if that is not the case, you can let them know when you are ready. Your goal should be supporting your own mental health and comfort level at this time.
Jessica Ferland
848
03/18/24 at 5:48PM UTC
What makes you not tell people? I've found in this situation that people want to help, whether it's connect you with job leads, buy you dinner one night, etc. I absolutely get that it's a scrappy situation. It could be less scrappy with support from your circle.
Anonymous
03/18/24 at 5:40PM UTC
It was embarrassing for me the first couple of times. But you need to let people know in case they have a lead or some other way to help.
Many, many people have been hit with layoffs. Just say something like, "Had a stroke of bad luck - getting laid off. Know of anyplace good?"
Evie ArnoldFeel Good Productivity Coach
63
03/18/24 at 4:45PM UTC
I'm sorry to hear you have been laid off. This can cause us to feel anxious and it's also not unusual for us to feel shame (even thought you are not to blame.) Your family and friends are a valuable support network and I wonder why you might be resisting letting them know. Start sharing the update with those you trust, bringing our worries and feelings into the light - diminishes their negative hold on us. Your network may be able to support you emotionally and also be a useful collaborator in helping you find a new role. Wishing you all the best in your job search!
