I am at the end of my rope.

36 Comments

1. AnonymousSeptember 21,2021 at 8:33PM UTC

   I'm having the same experience and trying to determine if I have been blacklisted by my former employer. It's become very frustrating and a strain on my mental health.

2. Jackie GhedineSeptember 22,2021 at 10:50AM UTC

   I'm very sorry you are dealing with this, the job hunt is a challenge of our mental health for sure. Stay true, own your worth and believe in your capabilities.

3. Bobbie LloydSeptember 22,2021 at 1:13PM UTC

   Hi Anonymous,
   Do you know if your former employer uses an automated reference program that only gives out specific information (start date, title, end date and salary (if allowed))? If yes, then this is not your blocker.

   It could be your location which on the surface might appear to be viable with opportunity but in actuality offers either a limited number of employers.
   Feel free to reach out to me on LinkedIn if you just need to chat as I understand your frustration in that I am seeking employment too. Keep going!

4. AnonymousSeptember 22,2021 at 2:16PM UTC

   I posted on another thread about blacklisting, so apologies if this is a repeat for you. My ex actually was blacklisted, officially, and I had to subpoena that info for a court case. He did find another job in his field in the end, although it was at a huge pay cut. It took a year, pre-pandemic, and it was at a much smaller company in a different state. I would highly recommend that you get a copy of your own personnel records. FYI, he confessed in the end to his choices that impacted his job loss, they were prosecutable legally, and this is why I share this with you, knowing it to be a true experience. I am not clear whether his former company chose to prosecute him, although his comments a few months ago at another hearing make me think that they did.

5. Crystal Miller-O'BrienSeptember 21,2021 at 8:42PM UTC

   Personal coaches have been behind some very successful and powerful people I have known. But I think that you may not need to invest in this (expensive) option at this time. I know it likely feels that you have been out of work forever, but it really hasn't been that long based on the market we are in and based on the type of competition that you are up against.

   The Great Resignation means that you are competing with people who didn't want to return to an office because of safety concerns or minimal options for remote work. And employer confusion is amongst us too, because some are seriously searching for a wish-list candidate and are relying on automation to weed in and out people and any slight item off the "wish list" can eliminate people who are otherwise stellar candidates. It truly is a game of numbers.

   Hang in there, maybe secure temporary work with a firm like Robert Half or Apple One and don't give up on landing your dream job. You only need one. But keep looking, applying, and interviewing. Something will find its way to you and it will be amazing. Watch and see!

6. Bobbie LloydSeptember 22,2021 at 12:55PM UTC

   Hi Crystal,

   You are absolutely correct. It is essential to keep applying as I am finding that for every 50 applications, I receive maybe 1-2 serious inquiry that leads to an interview. I am yet to close the deal but each interview is a learning experience and a chance to network.

   Never give up!

7. kay JackSeptember 22,2021 at 2:22PM UTC

   Great tips on considering temporary or consulting firms like Robert Half. Sometimes we need to get our foot in the door even if as a consultant first .

8. Salimah IsmailSeptember 21,2021 at 9:42PM UTC

   Companies do not give feedback to people they do not hire because anything they say can make them liable for discrimination suits.

   I am all about career coaching and recruiting although I am slightly biased because the company I work for, Bleeker, does such a great job at both, centering their work on underrepresented talent. We have a Collective (similar but different to the FBG community in terms of helping job seekers) if you are interested in seeing what it is about (http://apply.bleeker.co/)

9. AnonymousSeptember 21,2021 at 9:55PM UTC

   I think it's the nature of the market right now. What is your network saying?

10. Jackie GhedineSeptember 22,2021 at 10:49AM UTC

    Hi Michele. Job hunting (and yes, it is an absolute hunt) can be exhausting, mentally draining and can play mind games with your confidence.

    As a career coach, here is the biggest hurdle I find women face when looking for a job, they undervalue their worth. Instead of heading into an interview with confidence and conviction around their capabilities and delivery excellence, they fumble on their words, blend in with other candidates and throw off the energy of 'pick me pick me' instead of 'let me see if this is where I want to work.'

    Hiring a coach can be a gamechanger (not because I am one) but because they can help you build your personal brand story, work closely on your interviewing skills and rebuild your confidence and conviction.

    If you would like to schedule a discovery call, please feel free to reach out to jackie@therestingmind.com

    Good luck!

11. kay JackSeptember 22,2021 at 2:20PM UTC

    I agree as my career coach did all of the things that you mention above . She not only helped with my total brand story and interviewing skills but also my confidence ( which was at it's lowest ).

12. Shelley Maley, Career Coach (PHR, GCDF)September 22,2021 at 12:30PM UTC

    Hi Michele,
    I'm happy to have a free conversation with you and give you some pointers. Please let me know if you're interested. I'd love to help!

13. Reet AriSeptember 22,2021 at 12:33PM UTC

    Hi Michelle- want to connect offline and talk? More than happy to help you out, even help you network.

14. AnonymousSeptember 22,2021 at 1:20PM UTC

    This is why this forum is so important. I thoroughly believe there are people out there who can and will help others. Reet, thank you for taking time to help Michele.

15. Michele LuptonSeptember 25,2021 at 6:43PM UTC

    Sounds great!

16. Erin MooreSeptember 22,2021 at 12:34PM UTC

    Hi Michele, I am so sorry to hear about your experience. I have been searching since July and am having a difficult struggle. I currently work in higher education for a theological school but worked in the business sector prior for more of my career. Most places won't even look past my resume because they are assuming I must be used to working in a slow environment of higher ed or am uber-religious. Neither of which are true assumptions. I can't tell you the hours I have spent customizing cover letters and even creating video applications to try to get employers to see beyond where I work.

    I share this because I have been equally wondering if a career coach could be helpful. I have reached out to recruiters and while they think my work experience is great they are having a hard time selling me because of my current workplace. Let me know if you decide to get a coach and what you think of the experience.

    Part of my hesitation is that I worked with a career coach and resume writer about a year ago and it was an "okay" experience. There are so many it is hard to know who would/could be most helpful.

17. AnonymousSeptember 22,2021 at 1:31PM UTC

    Hi! I can relate to your work with a faith-based organization. When I mentioned it, the image was a small office with gospwl music playing when that was very far from the truth. While it struggled sometimes wirh wanting to be less corporate, it was just that....pseudo corporate. Advice that was helpful to me was to translate my work into marketable and recognizable aspects on my resume. I am sure you are doing this, but wanted to share that I can relate and an HR recruiter was the most helpful for me in that space. Best wishes!

18. Jessica DavisSeptember 22,2021 at 12:36PM UTC

    I don't, but I would certainly be willing to try one.

19. Lisa GibsonSeptember 22,2021 at 12:42PM UTC

    Michele, I am so sorry you are going through this. You are clearly doing something right because you've made it pretty far in the process several times. That might not feel like success, but it actually is. I did work with a career coach and I had a good experience. It offers a fresh perspective and helps guide how your time is spent.

20. Angelica Alvarez-IbarraSeptember 22,2021 at 1:01PM UTC

    Following- I can’t seem to get anywhere in the job search, would love to know if a career coach is worth it. I’ve hired two resume writers to fit several types of positions.

21. AnonymousSeptember 22,2021 at 1:33PM UTC

    I had a free career coaching session with my severance. Aside from helping update my resume and LinkedIn, there really wasn't anything they did to move the process along. At some point it's just you, your contacts and your ability to sell yourself.

    Remember you're not in control of the process, and no the companies are not going to tell you why they chose someone else.

22. AnonymousSeptember 22,2021 at 2:17PM UTC

    I guess it depends on the coach you get as mines too as fantastic in so many different parts of the job search process .

23. AnonymousSeptember 22,2021 at 1:35PM UTC

    I know someone who truly is excellent. All he does is interview coaching—that’s it! Has been doing it for years. He’s no relation. No referral fee for me. His track record speaks for itself.

    Www.landingexpert.com

    If you are curious, I hired him for my daughter for highly competitive investment banking job on wall street—top tier firm. Everyone’s resume is amazing.

    She got the job!

24. kay JackSeptember 22,2021 at 2:15PM UTC

    I have personally had an amazing experience with career coaching . My coach helped me with not only my LinkedIn, job search techniques , building a solid network but also my confidence . I had been at a the same company for 13 years and needed a fresh start . I think you will be pleased . Good luck .

25. Kelli MahoneySeptember 22,2021 at 4:22PM UTC

    I was laid off in January and have made it to the final round for Director roles on numerous occasions, only to find myself also unable to secure a role. So I do feel your pain completely. I have gotten some feedback, fortunately, that I have interviewed well, and I'm sure you have, too. The issue we have now is that we are often in a different competitive market than what a lot of people are talking about. Yes, there is a great resignation, but I'm not sure it's happening as much in higher level positions. I'd be interested to hear those statistics. Also, if you are Gen X, you will have harder time securing positions--that is a proven statistic.

    I'm not trying to sound doom and gloom. I'm just saying there are real obstacles to overcome, and we have to keep plugging away. The fact that you've gotten so far into the final rounds is good. The right role will come. I would consider a recruiter, but don't put all your hope in it. Do keep trying on your own. I've gone through a lot of recruiters who have done nothing for me, honestly.

    You can do this. Yes, it's frustrating. Yes, it stinks to get so far to find out you didn't get these roles. Yes, it is so hard to work on these resumes and cover letters for nada. But you're a successful woman. You've gotten this far in your career by working hard, and you'll find a new position by working hard still.

    Someone will see how amazing you are and scoop you up. You will find the right fit. Just be patient and keep plugging away.

26. Emmy BemmySeptember 22,2021 at 5:39PM UTC

    I'm curious why Gen X-ers have a harder time finding a job... is it simply age? Or, is there something else? As far as I know, Gen X has the reputation of being hard working/problem solving, so I am surprised to hear that.

27. Lisa GibsonSeptember 23,2021 at 6:04PM UTC

    Gen X-ers are now in their fifties -- and age discrimination is alive and well. It's not about their reputation for work ethic, it's the existing bias against hiring an "older" worker.

28. Emmy BemmySeptember 25,2021 at 12:11AM UTC

    That's what I was assuming, but wasn't sure if there was something else. I'm a Gen X-er (still in my 40s though) and am not looking forward to the job search process given the pervasive age discrimination. Interestingly, I'm curious if the age discrimination is a bigger issue for women...most of the men I know get new jobs with no problem, and they are all late-40s/early-50s. The women I know do tend to struggle.

29. Lisa GibsonSeptember 25,2021 at 7:04PM UTC

    Yes I’m sure you are right! When has anything ever been easier for women ??

30. Sarah MuddSeptember 23,2021 at 1:24PM UTC

    I heard recently that in an interview you should ask "Is there anything that gives your reservations about me as a candidate" so you can address those reservations in the interview. Maybe try adding that on as one of your questions for the hiring managers? That might give you some feedback?

31. Erin MooreSeptember 23,2021 at 8:14PM UTC

    I have started doing this recently in interviews and have found I get a bit more insight into how I did in the interview and have been given the opportunity to clarify my responses more. This really works well.

32. Jackie GhedineSeptember 26,2021 at 12:01PM UTC

    Sarah and Erin, this is what we call the million-dollar question! We coach all of our clients on the question, how to ask it, answer it and watch for body language signs as well. It is about pulling out any doubt and addressing it because once you leave, the little bit of doubt can get bigger, bigger and bigger.

33. Casey EricksonSeptember 24,2021 at 1:16PM UTC

    Hi Michele

    I am so sorry to hear that you are experiencing this. As many said, I am sure that you are interviewing really well, but it's unfortunate that you're not getting feedback .

    One thing that I would recommend doing, a bit outside the box, is to stay in touch w and Link In with your interviewers. I have been in recruiting for 20 years, and know that many times something will happen with a lead candidate and they will need to go back and start recruiting again. I'm sure you've even had that experience as a hiring manager. Stay on the radar. Leaving a good impression is not just a moment in time and reserved for the interview, but it's about building your network for the future as well. When I was interviewing, I made it really far (finals) and did not get the job, but I had built a rapport with the team and checked in every few months or so. The interviewer and I really hit it off and she actually referred me to someone in her network that was hiring. I found out from that person that I wasn't hired for the other company because the role went on hold (which was a blessing in disguise) but that my interviewer really liked me.

    Also, the main reason I pursued leadership coaching as a side hustle was for this reason. The gift of feedback and inviting someone to ask deep questions is life changing.

    I wish you all the best in your search. If you are brave and resourceful enough to seek counsel from this group of wonderful women, a great opportunity is right around the corner for you.

34. Pat RoqueSeptember 25,2021 at 1:53PM UTC

    Hi there, I’m sorry you’re going through this but it is unfortunately not uncommon. As a career in leadership strategist (and someone who provides the HR folks with their professional development credits) I get to be the fox in the hen house. That means, learning why people quit and/or what they’re looking for as great candidates, as well as empathy and understanding of the company side of this equation.

    They are busy, overstretched, and unfortunately many are so inundated that they are not taking the time to properly provide the courtesy you would expect. It’s not an excuse, but they need to hire the right fit dream candidate as much as you want that perfect role in a great new “work family.”

    Therefore, feedback is not as common as we would hope but That’s yet another reason why you want a comprehensive strategy, and depth of relationships in an organization so that you are not dependent on only one person as your window into the company.

    Because I have an extensive marketing background, and a boatload of connections in that space, and success placing people at your level, you might want to look at my LinkedIn profile and see if the 90 recommendations there resonate with you. That’s a big decision, and you want to make sure you are investing your focused time, energy and resources with someone who’s been there, walked in your shoes.

    Know that I have a complete system for gaining clarity, confidence, communicating better, rocking your connections, and then celebrating your success. It’s comprehensive, it’s proven and we’ve helped people even as much as double and triple their comp packages.

    It’s not pie in the sky BS, but real people and real results, and most importantly you want to be super clear on what you want and deserve in this next chapter. So I wonder what your dream job is?

    And how well are you aligned with your strengths (both your technical skills and your vital skills that we used to call soft skills).

    First next step: you might want to also start with career soul-searching to make sure you are clear on your true north and what’s best for you and your family in this next chapter. That’s free and please take advantage of the reflection time to re-discover why are you rock. www.rockonsuccess.com/soul

    Connect on LinkedIn at HTTPS:/.www.linkefin.com/in/patroque

    Good luck!

35. Christy K. HanthornOctober 5,2021 at 12:26PM UTC

    Would you consider venturing a wee bit outside of marketing? Many professionals put all their eggs in one basket, so to speak, and this can make job hunting hard in a saturated market, especially when there are only so many high-level positions to go around. I'm a professor full-time and a technical writer on the side. I currently work on a government contract through a very successful IT firm. We've been trying to hire a document control/lead editor person for a number of weeks now. SIX FIGURE SALARY and no one wants the job. One person accepted and has since pulled out. I've added the tasks onto my own plate at the moment while we wait. My point is to say there are other opportunities in different (but related) areas of writing.

36. Glenport LifeOctober 6,2021 at 10:39PM UTC

    ? burnout is real! Reboot, relax, refresh, renew, release, what do you need to do most to restructure whatever is causing the situation?