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WFH has turned into having 2 full-time jobs sometimes 3 at the same time.
I have noticed that since I have been working from home due to Covid, my husband will ask me to do chores during my working hours.
I have noticed in between meetings I will be loading the washing machine, running a random errand, cooking something, etc.
Also when the little one gets sick from daycare, I am just expected to take care of him alone since I work from home.
Anyone else dealing with this over workload?
Anonymous
02/24/22 at 2:22PM UTC
So very true.
Ashma SSoftware support Manager at Dell Boomi
17
01/03/22 at 11:55AM UTC
hahaha True Said
Anonymous
12/17/21 at 1:13PM UTC
?
Käte DavisThe life coach for women who work.
269
12/03/21 at 1:09PM UTC
From a tactical perspective, do you have the option to hire out any of the work? For example, could you get a housekeeper to clean, do laundry, and run the errands?
I confess that I love working from home because I have this flexibility to throw in a load of laundry between conference calls or have the groceries delivered midday. I suspect that based on how you've written this post, your concerns are more on a personal level, and they're only going to get solved by implementing some boundaries. If you've never said "no" to any of these requests, they'll keep being asked of you. I think a simple "I don't have time for that today" could be a gentle kickstart to the discussions.
Jackie GhedineCoach Gen X Women|Host Modern GenX Woman podcast
6.03k
12/03/21 at 12:34PM UTC
100%.
?
User deleted comment on 12/03/21 at 1AM UTC
Anonymous
12/02/21 at 10:14PM UTC
Working remotely is not that great for working mothers.
You do double the work. The employment duties and then the home expectations and needs (feeding children, homework, laundry, dishes, etc)
I'm pretty much handling stuff I don't want to be involved with everyday, grocery shopping, making breakfasts, lunches and dishes just because I work from home. When I ask my husband to help, he acts as if he drowning in the simplest things.
It's terrible.
I'm learning to let go of this "homewife" control.
Learning to live in a mess. Clean up when I can, don't beat myself up for having a pile of laundry I don't do. And if there's a pile of dishes, so what! I'm not a machine!
Men need to be responsible to the "life admin" too. If I cook, you do dishes. I put the toddler to bed tonight, you do the laundry. If I grocery shop, put it away. If I have a zoom call, then take the toddler out to park. Help me and I help you. I'm not a martyr.
I don't care about the chores anymore. Because if I become overactive in these areas, then he slacks off and creates more tasks.
Scrambled eggs for dinner or some sort of boxed pierogies with veggies will have to do most nights! I am not a robot chef, I'm a designer working from home with other people requesting unrealistic projects with insane deadlines to add more pressure on my life.
I will not do it all. I don't want to.
He can choose what he does, but I must remain supportive and a helper even if it means my own insanity?
Men can do chores too. They just choose not to do them.
Anonymous
12/03/21 at 12:35AM UTC
I 100% agree that at some level you just need to go on 'strike' and not pick up the clothes, things lying around, etc. It drove me crazy at first but at least I wasn't doing the work that was also driving me crazy. I also got my kids involved with more chores but that's also annoying because of course they whine.
Anonymous
12/02/21 at 9:41PM UTC
I can suspect that this may be a common experience, but one that isn't equitable from how you speak of it. I'm curious, how do you imagine changing this relationship dynamic, to better suit your workload needs?
Anonymous
12/02/21 at 8:51PM UTC
100% this was happening to me at home. So I went into the office, even though for months I was by myself.
Anonymous
12/02/21 at 8:39PM UTC
Strong boundaries is the only way you're going to survive.
Have a heart to heart with your partner and layout the amount if work, both professional and personal, you are being called upon to complete.
You need to learn to say "no, you'll need to care of these errands, tasks, etc."
Furthermore, make sure you're prioritizing your selfcare. If your health falters, the family suffers.
Lyndsay FieldsSoftware Recruiting Manager by day, Mom for life
140
12/02/21 at 9:25PM UTC
That is really great advice! Thank you
Anonymous
12/03/21 at 12:07AM UTC
It may be that you juggle so well and make it look easy that no one sees how much you are responsible for.
