WFH has turned into having 2 full-time jobs sometimes 3 at the same time.

12 Comments

1. AnonymousDecember 2,2021 at 8:39PM UTC

   Strong boundaries is the only way you're going to survive.

   Have a heart to heart with your partner and layout the amount if work, both professional and personal, you are being called upon to complete.

   You need to learn to say "no, you'll need to care of these errands, tasks, etc."

   Furthermore, make sure you're prioritizing your selfcare. If your health falters, the family suffers.

2. Lyndsay FieldsDecember 2,2021 at 9:25PM UTC

   That is really great advice! Thank you

3. AnonymousDecember 3,2021 at 12:07AM UTC

   It may be that you juggle so well and make it look easy that no one sees how much you are responsible for.

4. AnonymousDecember 2,2021 at 8:51PM UTC

   100% this was happening to me at home. So I went into the office, even though for months I was by myself.

5. AnonymousDecember 2,2021 at 9:41PM UTC

   I can suspect that this may be a common experience, but one that isn't equitable from how you speak of it. I'm curious, how do you imagine changing this relationship dynamic, to better suit your workload needs?

6. AnonymousDecember 2,2021 at 10:14PM UTC

   Working remotely is not that great for working mothers.

   You do double the work. The employment duties and then the home expectations and needs (feeding children, homework, laundry, dishes, etc)

   I'm pretty much handling stuff I don't want to be involved with everyday, grocery shopping, making breakfasts, lunches and dishes just because I work from home. When I ask my husband to help, he acts as if he drowning in the simplest things.

   It's terrible.

   I'm learning to let go of this "homewife" control.

   Learning to live in a mess. Clean up when I can, don't beat myself up for having a pile of laundry I don't do. And if there's a pile of dishes, so what! I'm not a machine!

   Men need to be responsible to the "life admin" too. If I cook, you do dishes. I put the toddler to bed tonight, you do the laundry. If I grocery shop, put it away. If I have a zoom call, then take the toddler out to park. Help me and I help you. I'm not a martyr.

   I don't care about the chores anymore. Because if I become overactive in these areas, then he slacks off and creates more tasks.

   Scrambled eggs for dinner or some sort of boxed pierogies with veggies will have to do most nights! I am not a robot chef, I'm a designer working from home with other people requesting unrealistic projects with insane deadlines to add more pressure on my life.

   I will not do it all. I don't want to.

   He can choose what he does, but I must remain supportive and a helper even if it means my own insanity?

   Men can do chores too. They just choose not to do them.

7. AnonymousDecember 3,2021 at 12:35AM UTC

   I 100% agree that at some level you just need to go on 'strike' and not pick up the clothes, things lying around, etc. It drove me crazy at first but at least I wasn't doing the work that was also driving me crazy. I also got my kids involved with more chores but that's also annoying because of course they whine.

8. Jackie GhedineDecember 3,2021 at 12:34PM UTC

   100%.
   ?

9. Käte DavisDecember 3,2021 at 1:09PM UTC

   From a tactical perspective, do you have the option to hire out any of the work? For example, could you get a housekeeper to clean, do laundry, and run the errands?

   I confess that I love working from home because I have this flexibility to throw in a load of laundry between conference calls or have the groceries delivered midday. I suspect that based on how you've written this post, your concerns are more on a personal level, and they're only going to get solved by implementing some boundaries. If you've never said "no" to any of these requests, they'll keep being asked of you. I think a simple "I don't have time for that today" could be a gentle kickstart to the discussions.

10. AnonymousDecember 17,2021 at 1:13PM UTC

    ?

11. Ashma SJanuary 3,2022 at 11:55AM UTC

    hahaha True Said

12. AnonymousFebruary 24,2022 at 2:22PM UTC

    So very true.