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Creative Connection?
Good morning! I've been a writer for 16 years (novels, biographies, screenplays, magazine articles, and scripted podcast shows). Am currently building my third content-based company.
Two months ago, I experienced the devastating loss of my only sibling to breast cancer and an over-zealous caregiver in her final days. Initially, I was fine with telling myself to take time to let it process through. But today marks two months since her passing and I still struggle when I sit down to write. Writing is my livelihood AND my outlet. I need that connection to words!
Has anyone else here lived through a big loss? How long did it take you to get your writing mind back fully? What activities did you do to get yourself there? I keep wondering if I should go on a writing retreat (how is that even done during COVID?) and just go scream at walls for a few days. I can't exactly do that at home as I have two children in virtual school and a husband who works from home as well. But is it even worth the time, effort, and expense to do that?
Any advice greatly appreciated.
Deb LingAuthor Coach, Editor and Ghostwriter
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11/21/20 at 3:25PM UTC
Hi Rebeca, My condolences on your loss. I would recommend you take 15-20 minutes every day and journal your feelings. The good, the bad, and the ugly. You will find it will help you through your grief. You may also find down the road, that you have a memoir in the works. But even if you don't, journaling will help you through the pain.
RebecaSeitzCommunications and story industry executive
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11/21/20 at 5:04PM UTC
Thank you, Deb! You know, someone else told me last week that I may have a writing project here that could help others. When suggestions start repeating, there's usually something coalescing in my little part of the universe. For now, I really like your advice to just write and let it help now, then later become whatever it becomes beyond that, if anything. Thank you!
Victoria RegoReiki Master, writer, customer service
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11/19/20 at 4:10AM UTC
Hi, first off please except my condolences on your loss. As a breast cancer survivor that has lost 3 friends to metastatic breast cancer in the last 6 months, I can put myself in your shoes. Writing has also been my outlet and my salvation especially through the last loss.
I don't know there it is fair to try to put a time limit on grief, like breast cancer, grief is different for everyone going through it. It will take however long it needs to take for you to process the emotion and triggers related to the grief and the overbearing caregiver. Allow yourself the time.
As a writer, I would say just try free writing 15-30 minutes a day until the words begin to flow and don't be so hard on yourself. Grief has it's own timetable.
RebecaSeitzCommunications and story industry executive
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11/21/20 at 5:01PM UTC
I'm so sorry breast cancer entered your life as well, Victoria. It's a vicious monster. I had been free writing in the beginning, but I stopped doing it. I appreciate your suggestion because it's spurred me to go back to that practice. I do think it was helping.
Tasha Lowe-Newsome
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11/21/20 at 1:37AM UTC
Hello. Very sorry for your loss. The previous reply is right - it is very hard to place a time limit on grief. And you continue to have other responsibilities. One thing might be helpful is to try to write just for yourself for a time. Channel your grief, but don't try to focus on work for publication. It can be hard to focus, and you may find that something comes out of it later. I found that helpful in my recent loss of relationship and when my mother passed a few years ago.
RebecaSeitzCommunications and story industry executive
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11/21/20 at 5:02PM UTC
Thank you, Tasha! I'm so sorry you had to experience the pain of losing your mother.
