I don’t know about you, but those kitten posters have never helped me “Hang in There”. When times get tough, my natural inclination is to claw furiously or let go. It takes work to calmly hang on. It takes developing resilience. According to the American Psychological Association, “Resilience is the process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats or significant sources of stress — such as family and relationship problems, serious health problems or workplace and financial stressors. It means ‘bouncing back’ from difficult experiences.” Resilience is part skill and part mindset. And, while some people are naturally more inclined to hang on in tough times, with enough effort anyone can develop resilience. Here’s how to get started. Step 1: Reflect on your resilience record We’re often more qualified than we give ourselves credit for. We take our struggles and turn them into negative stories that exaggerate our shortcomings. I’ve been part of hundreds of conversations (including some with myself!) that start with “I’m not _______” and quickly transition to, “well, there was this one time. . .” If you think you lack resilience, identify a difficult situation in the past or present and challenge yourself to identify something you did well. How did you resist giving up? What did you do even though it was hard? What can you learn from your past approach and use in the future? Step 2: Calibrate a resilient outlook When you’re in the middle of stressful, frustrating, or painful experiences, a negative mental state limits your ability to push through them. Shifting to a hopeful outlook can open your mind to silver linings or perspectives that empower you to persevere. Next time you begin to feel overwhelmed, take a step back to look at your situation. Instead of worrying about what might or might not happen, consider what you want to happen. What possibilities can you imagine? Step 3: Develop Resilience Here are seven ways to persevere through and bounce back from difficult experiences. Be willing to give and accept help. Nurturing relationships with friends, family members, or new acquaintances can build a support system that’s there when you need it. Helping others through their difficult times can also remind you of your own strength to persevere. Spend your energy wisely. Focusing on things outside of your control isn’t useful or wise. While what’s happening may be unavoidable, your response to it is something you can affect. Mitigate the suck. It can be tempting to shut down or otherwise avoid painful situations. Rather than emotionally detaching from a situation, work to improve it in whatever way you can. Consider how you may benefit from the situation. Pain often yields gain. Try to identify ways in which you or the future may be better as a result of going through this. Move forward. Identify some goals that keep you moving through the difficult time. Acknowledging steps forward—however small—affirms your progress and encourages more. Maintain perspective. When it feels like things couldn’t be worse, it can be helpful to think of how they could be. Don’t invalidate your feelings, but do try to take a broader view in which your situation looks less consuming. Practice self care. Resilience takes work. When we feel depleted, we may not be up to the task. Before you get to a state of overwhelm, take some time to nurture your body and mind. You've got this!