Today my Senior Leader had me send out an Overtime Contest via email to our employees. Well, we loaned a good chunk of our department to another department to help with their greater need. We kept all the loaned employees on our distros, because they are coming back in October. So one of the Managers on loan wrote me and said, "This hurts when we don't have entitlements and aren't eligible for OT. Doesn't help with morale either, FYI." I am a pretty blunt person, so this didn't come off too strong for me, but I still found it inappropriate of a manager with 30+ years of experience, to say so curtly. As if this was my fault.. There are so many ways she could have phrased her statement. A lot of this has to do with her personality too I believe, I have worked with her for many years, and maybe that's why she was okay with being more abrupt about her frustrations. My peer was appalled at how she communicated with me and asked me how I kept my composure... Because my response was: "This email was not intended to go to the loans, I apologize that you and your staff received it. It was recalled, and hopefully that will pull it back. Also, more to come on recognition, I don't have much to go on, but approvals are finally going through at the top. Are the agents earning incentive as promised and such while on their loan? That was one of the things that we were told went you went over, so I am wondering if it was followed through on. I hope you are doing well, thanks so much." Five years ago, I probably would have not thought about it, and just impulsively wrote her back in the same tone. Today, I gave grace, I took the time to understand why she was frustrated and I asked additional questions to see what I could do to help. We have talked all day via email, and her responses became nicer and nicer as I was getting them back. I don't really toot my horn very often, but I am going to today. I didn't react negatively. I took the time to listen and to NOT react on my emotions, and it helped me get to a place of communication where I can actually go to my senior leaders and say, "hey, this is happening to our folks over there, and it's not okay." "What can we do to help them?" I try to remember that everyone is at home right now, and not everyone does well at home, and this leader, had a laptop that she kept in her desk at work from the moment I gave it to her, until it was time for her to go home for COVID. Working from home, is not easy for her. So while I might have been the punching bag, I wasn't the reason she raised her fist. I took the time to understand that and I gave her a safe place to vent, and say what she needed to say. Something she probably hasn't been able to do very well since coming home, and since being on loan to a department working with new folks. I applaud all of you who are simply trying to make it. You are going to snap, you are going to get mad and accidentally let a little of those frustrations out, but that is okay. The rest of us just have to remember that we have to be a little more understanding and ask "WHAT" is causing this person to react? and "HOW" can I help? Even if it's just to vent. Is it okay to let this happen all the time to the point of workplace bullying? Of course not. But for those who typically don't react in this manner, or who usually don't snap back, or it's new behavior for this person... We might have to pay a little more attention to these folks right now. Stay strong out there! We got this!