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Things WILL Get Better!
Dear Fellow FGB-ers,
Is it time to stop and smell the roses? Okay, maybe it’s a little too early for that yet. After all, we’re coping with life in the throes of the COVID-19 virus, and spring isn’t here yet. What’s more, the news gets bleaker by the day: More and more people are testing positive for the disease. And here in the Boston, MA, area, we’ve got weather to match: gloom and doom on tap with a too-oft dousing of rain.
In addition to feeling incredibly isolated at home, and as if we’re mosquitoes carrying Lyme disease when we DO go out, we’re watching our finances dwindle. Jobs are going away. And the hiring landscape for the unemployed looks increasingly barren. “Security” as we knew it is now a euphemism. Even most of our favorite TV news shows feature Skype interviews, rather than “live,” with host and guest faces appearing on split screens, emphasizing the enforced “social distancing” even more. We’re feeling total detachment in all we do.
Life right now is a drain and a strain. Running the slightest of errands becomes an internal debate. Should we keep doctor’s appointments? The car needs servicing. Should we put it off? And for me, I just received news of a sibling being diagnosed with lung cancer. How will I support her in her treatment if I’m not allowed inside the hospitals? It’s all a bad dream… or so it seems.
Well, today I happened to watch a preview of one of those endless self-empowerment webinars that are constantly streaming our way. It totally changed my perspective. It was about happiness and, no, it wasn’t presented by the Happiness Guru we all know and love. The preview was by someone completely new to me—author, businessman and motivational speaker, T. Harv Eker.
No matter. What he said intrigued me. He drove two points home:
1) External things/events DO NOT make us happy.
2) If we’re not happy NOW, we never WILL be.
We’ve all heard others (and ourselves) exclaim, “When I get that job…” “When the mortgage on our new home is approved…” “When I meet the love of my life…” “When the kids move out…” I’ll be happy. And I’m sure we’re ALL saying, “When this dreadful health crisis is over, I’ll be happy.” NO. We won’t. Happiness is not conditional. It has to be sustainable, unwavering—no matter what is happening or what our current circumstances are—for us to be authentically happy. Happiness that is “situational” doesn’t endure.*
Simple, but powerful, huh? Mr. Eker gave the following exercise as an example: He instructed his viewers to nod happily, right there, as we sat in front of our computers. It felt good! Then, he instructed us to nod happily—TOMORROW. That can’t be done. Because there is no tomorrow in this moment. There is only NOW.
My takeaway? If I’m not happy now, I won’t be happy EVER. So, I’m going to practice being HAPPY NOW. I’m going to focus on the simple joys of everyday life that COVID-19 can’t touch. Like the aroma of my morning coffee, even though I’d prefer a Dunkin’ or a Starbucks. The ease of having no dress code for “work,” even though I’ve got some new outfits I’m dying to wear. The feel of my soft, warm bedsheets even though they’re probably not of the highest thread count. The comfort of still being able to connect with others via social media and technology, along with the adventure of exploring new friendships.
And gratitude can go a long way, as well: I can still cook beautiful, delectable dinners, enjoy therapeutic hot showers, do loads of laundry that give me soft, fluffy towels, and use new windows of time to be creative. I’m going to practice this new optimism every day. Not just for me, but also for others, like my sister, who will need positive reinforcement, rather than an Angel of Doom.
There’s a quote I love that says our lives won’t change until WE do. So, let’s do it. Things WILL get better. When WE do.
*From T. Harv Eker’s web class, The Shocking Truth About Happiness.