How to deal with a toxic man baby colleague?
I joined my company nearly 2 years ago as the first General Counsel. There was a legal department for a niche part of the business and it was run by a lawyer who has some "personality" challenges that he has been able to chalk up to being "passionate" when in reality he was throwing tantrums. He was aggressive and tried to instruct me to 'stay in my lane.' it was made clear that all lanes are mine, but hr continues tantrum. Latest he hung up on me and some others on a call and somehow I get questioned about how that happened. I was frustrated because he wouldn't answer a question, three times so I was snarky. Now it's seen as 'two good people on both sides' who just don't get along. Now I find out that our boss- the CFO has taken him to the Masters as his guest. Is it hopeless for me to expect fair treatment?
Tara O'Connor
288
04/26/22 at 11:32PM UTC
Update the man baby just quit! Thanks for all of your support!
Maegan, Nike Sales Rep & Career CoachHelping you know your value to get your next job
1.87k
04/26/22 at 1:50AM UTC
No, and I would even venture to say you can create situations to get the treatment you are looking for. Many times we get stuck in our own stories and look for negative or unfair treatment, other times it really is there but it doesnt do us any good to focus on them. If staying is important to you for whatever reasons, you can shift the situation to serve you. I've helped clients with toxic people before, if you are interested in working with a career coach and shifting your mindset around this situation, let's chat ! Here's my link you can click on to signup for a time. https://maeganmillercoaching.as.me/consultcall
Gigi DevanneyComm/Mktg prof w/ focus in SaaS & higher ed.
552
04/25/22 at 1:25PM UTC
yep. Pretty hopeless.
TroyCustomer Service Leader in Atlanta
317
04/24/22 at 1:44PM UTC
I work in a male-dominated industry also and I would say, "to win", you will always have to be 10 steps ahead and stop thinking with your heart. We can't get emotional. For example, you stated he hung up on you and asked you about it. A good reply could have been, "you hung upon us as we were asking a question, but this is what I was going to say" and then proceed. You have to beat them at their own game. It will be frustrating, but the way I have been able to handle the male tantrums in my industry is to be involved, know my job, speak up, and "take" respect. When they see that you can handle the heat and can handle it under pressure, they will start to let you in, know that it's a game and you have to decide if you want to play.
Anonymous
04/24/22 at 12:58PM UTC
Yep, hopeless.
Anonymous
04/24/22 at 12:55PM UTC
Unfairness in the workplace is very commonplace. Male-dominated workplaces use male standards to judge fairness. These standards don’t necessarily resonate with women. Changing jobs may relieve the current situation and buy time until the next unfair situation. Many do find good places to work. Many, especially those women in male-dominated environments, have to make the best of bad situations. Make a list of what matters to you most and decide accordingly. Don’t burn bridges. Women do not get sympathy for their side of the story. Don’t bad-mouth a previous employer at an interview. They will assume you are the problem.
Anonymous
04/23/22 at 5:33PM UTC
I am sorry that I do not have any helpful comment. But, I am curious as to the comments as I work in a small office of a very male dominated industry. I don't always know how to respond to some situations. I hope you get some answers!
