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Set Your Sails
I finished reading ‘Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle’ by Emily and Amelia Nagoski today. It falls into the realm of what I would refer to as midlife self-help for women; a must read for anyone stuck in chronic stress or feeling out of their normal space. Which is 2020 in a nutshell , right?
What I liked about the book is that it was plain-spoken and it had wonderful quotes that spoke directly to me. In this way, it put my stress into perspective. One of my favorite quotes came from a section about knowing when to reach out. The authors speak to feelings of “not enough” and when you are feeling “helpless in the face of endless.” It was so powerful to see those words in print. 2020 has left me feeling just that – “helpless in the face of endless.” The authors continue in the book to talk about ways to mitigate these feelings/states of mind, including gratitude and self-compassion (giving yourself grace).
My “helpless in the face of endless” comes and goes. And when I find myself in the midst of it, I set goals and manufacture ways where I can see my own progress. What do you do to in those moments to “set your sails” and keep yourself motivated? How do you cope?
Sara MyersMidwest Professor and Research Administrator
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12/04/20 at 2:26PM UTC
Hello - I just saw this book, but wasn't going to get it because I already have a stack of 25 or so books on my desk to read! Thank you for sharing this because I now am going to get this book and read it right away.
In terms of "what I do in the face of helpless" is I've had to force myself to take self-care to a new level in my midlife. Monthly massages, daily exercise, occasional afternoon break to read a book. I just came back from a week-long beach vacation where I did not take my computer. It gives me anxiety evening being without my computer. Today is my first day back and already I feel like I can focus better.
I also want to add doing these things are not easy - I feel guilty for taking the break. However I am wise enough now to know that this is what I need to do so I can be my best self. Good luck!
Michelle VerquerAuthentic Leadership Development Specialist
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12/04/20 at 4:02PM UTC
It is good to separate from your computer/screen - even for 1 day! I try to treat my weekends as vacation as much as possible in that regard. I hope you enjoy the book!
Annabelle Pereira
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12/03/20 at 3:40AM UTC
“Helpless in the face of endless” really resonates! I try to remind myself about the things that I *can* control and the little things I can do that will make me feel better. Sometimes it’s as basic as going to bed early and not worrying about the dishes in the sink for the night. Other times, it’s bigger - like reaching out to family and friends for support.
Thank you for sharing this book - it sounds like an excellent read!
Michelle VerquerAuthentic Leadership Development Specialist
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12/03/20 at 7PM UTC
My little things are taking a walk alone in the woods. Or buying something just for me. Or texting someone I have not heard from in a long time. You are right. Little things do work in making things better. I don't ever prioritize doing one little thing everyday. Maybe I should! Thanks!
