I have been in turmoil for 3 years after a terrible, unheard-of crime. This hurt me, took everything (home, business, my studio, all I have), and shattered the foundation on which I built my life and developed my understanding of everything.
Anonymous
I have been in turmoil for 3 years after a terrible, unheard-of crime. This hurt me, took everything (home, business, my studio, all I have), and shattered the foundation on which I built my life and developed my understanding of everything.
I had a wonderful life, but I also have LPD (language-processing disorder), which means that I also naturally ended up with no one in my life. I have no family, friends, or anyone.
But what I do have is an immense work ethic and I love what I do, so I committed every last ounce of everything I have and made a plan to progress and recover. However, it's tough to manage anything when you lack a support system, cannot trust anyone, and are missing the essential foundation that most people have for navigating life.
No matter what I did, I could not move beyond these obstacles alone. In fact, the harder I tried, the more lost I became.
A couple of weeks ago, I was ready to give up, but I did something else first: I emailed a plea to a personal hero of mine, who is also a top leading female CEO in the country.
I told her how I hoped to see myself there one day and about how I was failed over and over and OVER. I told her about my beautiful 4 year old with dreams I cannot fulfill anymore.
I asked for help, and two days later, a recruiter called who had some wild things to say. Apparently, this had struck a familiar chord with her and a few executives too. This fueled me, and despite being homeless, I felt like things were going to go up from there.
Because we are homeless now, I spent days swapping up between parks, splash pads, libraries, and anywhere with Wi-Fi that allows me to craft my resume and connect with the recruiter (while also acting like this is "normal," so my daughter isn't traumatized.)
I live in a dangerous city, but I know how to be safe; I stay aware and am never out close to dark, but yesterday I had a gun held to my head in broad daylight and was robbed.
When I told the recruiter what happened, she said she understood I had a lot going on and to let her know when I was able - but I will never be "able", because I can't do this alone.
When I saw that we would never be acknowledged, I didn't give up or wallow in pity. Instead, I refused to live another day as an unheard victim, waiting for someone to help me and do the right thing. Instead, I sucked it up, got to work, and gave it my all—it just wasn't enough, and now I am lost and out of options and time.
Every time something good happens, when I think I will finally get a break, it blows up.
I am so tired. I just can't keep contending with this. I am at my breaking point.
I hate that I can't talk; if I could pick up the phone, I know it would be okay. (I also know this would have never happened.)
I don't know what to do anymore; that was my last hope.
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