I have been in turmoil for 3 years after a terrible, unheard-of crime. This hurt me, took everything (home, business, my studio, all I have), and shattered the foundation on which I built my life and developed my understanding of everything.
I had a wonderful life, but I also have LPD (language-processing disorder), which means that I also naturally ended up with no one in my life. I have no family, friends, or anyone.
But what I do have is an immense work ethic and I love what I do, so I committed every last ounce of everything I have and made a plan to progress and recover. However, it's tough to manage anything when you lack a support system, cannot trust anyone, and are missing the essential foundation that most people have for navigating life.
No matter what I did, I could not move beyond these obstacles alone. In fact, the harder I tried, the more lost I became.
A couple of weeks ago, I was ready to give up, but I did something else first: I emailed a plea to a personal hero of mine, who is also a top leading female CEO in the country.
I told her how I hoped to see myself there one day and about how I was failed over and over and OVER. I told her about my beautiful 4 year old with dreams I cannot fulfill anymore.
I asked for help, and two days later, a recruiter called who had some wild things to say. Apparently, this had struck a familiar chord with her and a few executives too. This fueled me, and despite being homeless, I felt like things were going to go up from there.
Because we are homeless now, I spent days swapping up between parks, splash pads, libraries, and anywhere with Wi-Fi that allows me to craft my resume and connect with the recruiter (while also acting like this is "normal," so my daughter isn't traumatized.)
I live in a dangerous city, but I know how to be safe; I stay aware and am never out close to dark, but yesterday I had a gun held to my head in broad daylight and was robbed.
When I told the recruiter what happened, she said she understood I had a lot going on and to let her know when I was able - but I will never be "able", because I can't do this alone.
When I saw that we would never be acknowledged, I didn't give up or wallow in pity. Instead, I refused to live another day as an unheard victim, waiting for someone to help me and do the right thing. Instead, I sucked it up, got to work, and gave it my all—it just wasn't enough, and now I am lost and out of options and time.
Every time something good happens, when I think I will finally get a break, it blows up.
I am so tired. I just can't keep contending with this. I am at my breaking point.
I hate that I can't talk; if I could pick up the phone, I know it would be okay. (I also know this would have never happened.)
I don't know what to do anymore; that was my last hope.
Anonymous
08/24/24 at 3:32PM UTC (Edited)
OP HERE -- UPDATE!
I just love FGB and everyone here so much and I am so thankful for you guys' responses. I didn't intend to post here and then just not return, and I am sorry for that. However, things got even worse, very fast, and I was unable to access the internet.
I am happy and grateful with every fiber of my being to say that my daughter and I will be housed next week, and until then we are safe in a hotel, and are getting the help that we need. Surprisingly this help came from my daughter's school, and is being provided as a wraparound service.
I thank God for this because nothing else was going to help us. I am in Mississippi, and this state has nothing to help anyone. I knew we were at the bottom of everything but I am just now for the first time in my life realizing what this means.
I tried every resource that is available, and I know that because 211 was the LAST contact that I made.
211 was left scratching their heads.
First, I have to mention that the people who work there are amazing - so unbelievably amazing that I considor just being able to call and to know that someone who genuinely cares will be there a valuable resource in itself!
I spent hours with these wonderful people while they tried to do everything they could. They fought to escalate requests to access specialized databases, and a few of them obtained my information (which they were not supposed to do) to conduct thorough research aimed at locating obscure resources, and also to try and understand why this was happening.
These incredible individuals did everything within their power. They truly exceeded expectations and did everything within their power to advocate for me and my daughter,
Why is no help available?
Most calls come at the starting point of needing help - but because I have a language processing disorder and because of the issues this creates with verbal communication, I did not.
Therefore, by the time I called 211 I had already located, reached out to, and was denied every single resource they were capable of locating.
So, what is up with the resources?
The issue is the lack of available funding. There is simply nothing there. The organizations that receive government money and serve these communities in need have been awaiting these resources for an extended period.
The harsh truth is that they don't have the resources to feed and meet the vital life-sustaining needs of people living on the street right now - so of course they couldn't help us.
Now that I know that we will be okay, I can't stop from thinking about all of the people that are in need here in this state.
All I wanted was to get the help I needed with my disability so that I could find a great job in my field and leave this place far, far behind. I was going to give up on my home, but I can't because it is the people that make this state so amazing - and to think that some of these people, or any person anywhere feels the same hopelessness that I did is unacceptable to me.
I don't know where to start, how to start, or if it would even matter due to my LPD, but I feel a strong conviction that this happened for a reason. So, that is something that I am praying about and I am excited about involving myself in efforts to make things better.
Right now, I am just so thankful for the stability that we have, the stability that is in store with moving into permanent housing, and I am excited to have begun the recruitment process that will help me land a position in my field so I can FINALLY do what I love again!
If anyone has any ideas, experience, or simply wants to brainstorm about possibilities that can help others with this shortage our state is facing then I would love to connect!
(Again, thank you <3)
Anonymous
08/01/24 at 4:11PM UTC (Edited)
(edited to add content) Most major cities in US, have crime victims assistance. Also vocational rehabilitation department that helps you get what you need to be able to work! You don't have to get disability benefits either, just a diagnosis you are willing to share with an employer. Seek out those programs. Once you are homeless, it is ten times harder to get working again no matter skills, ability or education. Your daughter is young. You will remember suffering, but she won't. I wanted to create an intensive program especially for single mothers to help for two years after major crisis, but any $ I could make was taken from me by crime too. Turn your love for your daughter into motivation and hope. If something happened to you, how might her life be? Life is horrible. Still don't give up. Nothing is really free for single mothers, but many single mothers DO make it to become CEO!!!
Paulla Fetzek
Teacher, Lighting Expert, 35+ Yr Office Pro
3.17k
08/01/24 at 1:55PM UTC
I am so very sorry for all you're facing. I'm dismayed and disheartened and what you've had to go through. I imagine you've searched for public assistance programs?
Have you tried reaching out to organizations that help with learning disorders? For example:
https://www.ldrfa.org/
https://www.asha.org/practice-portal/clinical-topics/spoken-language-disorders/
If I may, it sounds like you quite literally need an advocate who can speak on your behalf. Try contacting the Department of Health & Human Services (or a similar organization) for help. If I be of any help - though I have no experience working with your specific disorder - I'm glad to do what I can.
Irene
54
08/01/24 at 1:35PM UTC
What city are you in?
Anonymous
08/24/24 at 3:30PM UTC
Jackson, MS
(Posted an update in the comments!)
Anonymous
07/31/24 at 9:11PM UTC
I'm so sorry you are in this predicament. It sucks. I feel for you.
Good luck.
Anonymous
08/24/24 at 3:32PM UTC (Edited)
Thank you. That means so much to me.
(I made an update in the comments!)
Anonymous
07/31/24 at 8:43PM UTC
Since you have a 4-year-old, you surely qualify for public assistance. Call 211 or 311 and explain your situation. There should be shelters available to provide emergency housing for you and your child. I am sorry that you or anyone is going through a situation like that. Everyone deserves housing, food, and stability.
