Hi Ladies! It's been a while since I've been on this forum. I have been in, what I and many of my peers who understand my employment position feel is, an emotionally abusive relationship with my boss.
I work under a VP for a community bank. I am held to an extremely high standard and have produced quality work under mounds of pressure from working so closely with executives. I was excited about my position when I got it because I had worked so hard to go from part time teller to an analyst for a member of upper management. I increased my salary over 30% in the span of 5 years. I should be screaming from the mountaintops that I am making ~$60k a year with just an associate's degree (still pursuing bachelor's). My job pays for my tuition, I have healthcare and a 401k. I am very privileged to be in my position especially with COVID-19, however, I also worked extremely hard to get here and feel in my heart that I need to leave.
I could go on and on with examples but my boss has no consideration for anyone but herself. I am basically running my entire department with no oversight from her because she doesn't even know what I do and is never there when I need her mentorship. I CONSTANTLY have to show her the same basic functions of the computer, like looking up an extension or saving a file (!!!!). I feel like staying in this situation is going to stunt my growth. I am almost 30 and desperately want to learn/keep up with the times in my job - but I can not do that here because we flat out do not have the technology or training resources. I could teach myself, and I do, but if I can't use these tools at work then I am wasting my time.
I have been looking on and off for 2 years and have had no luck getting a new job. Since COVID, plus the current climate of the world right now regarding the injustices Black Americans are still facing, I feel so insignificant doing the work that I do. I am not helping anyone and that is where my heart is. I need to be doing something I am passionate about.
The company culture is very conservative, so I have to listen to covertly racist comments between my bosses and I am just at a place where I feel like I can no longer contribute to the success of people who display the moral compass they have.
I have been talking to my therapist about quitting without another job and the more I consider it the more free I feel. I never wanted to leave without having a new one but I am at a breaking point of burnout, mentally exhausted and at a place where the fear of the unknown sounds less scary and stressful than my current position.
I have some funds in my 401k I could dip into as a last resort, am receiving a federal student loan of ~$13k and currently have $0 in student loan debt, so my tuition is taken care of, and I have paid off all my credit cards in preparation of my departure. I am registered to walk dogs under the Wag service (basically uber for dogs) and have done some bartending on the side for over 7 years, so I figured if I needed to walk some dogs or pickup a few extra shifts after COVID has calmed down, I am ready and willing.
I want to have more time to finish college. I am only taking 2 classes at a time because working full time and going to school is hard. I have a 4.0 and want to keep it that way! My plan is to quit my job, take as many classes a semester that I can, and pursue a career in my current major, Graphic Design. I would love to have the freedom to work as a creator for a corporation or even freelance work and possibly continue my education in law school after I receive my bachelor's.
I have never experienced feeling like I was "called for" for a profession until I explored becoming a lawyer. My childhood friend who currently works as a lawyer for the DA gave me the push when she noticed my advocacy for BLM and suggested I would make a great lawyer. It's not what I was originally going for but I have never felt so compelled to go down that path, and education is how I will get there.
Sorry I kind of strayed - but I need to finish school so I can pursue my real dreams. The existential dread of my current situation is depressing me to the core and I am at the point of burnout where I just do not care. I have been dealing with "burnout" for over 2 years and I have broken.
I'm having my "leaving town with $5 to my name and am gonna make it big" moment and what I'm saying is, for anyone out there feeling the same, HAVE YOURS TOO! (but in a well organized way)
Never in my WILDEST dreams did I think I would quit my job without another one lined up, but after discussing my terrible experiences at work for months with my therapist and finally proposing the idea of quitting without a job, she made me realize that I am fortunate enough to organize a plan to where I can be financially secure for at least 6 months to a year without working at all, and have backup plans to generate extra cash if needed.
I don't have a date for when I intend to leave, but decided to take the steps to be ready to give notice at any moment and just continue to work ands save money until the time comes where I literally break down.
If you're feeling like you can't do this anymore, line up your options. Pay off your debt so you have a clean slate and less bills. Decide what's not important (i.e. cancelling cable), have a backup plan for extra cash (uber bike/car deliveries, freelance work, etc.), evaluate your non-liquid savings and determine the penalties/fees for early withdrawals as an emergency plan. Discuss your plan with your roommate(s) or significant other and have a clear agreement and mutual understanding between anyone who may be impacted by your financial status and ensure you are protecting yourself as well as others. I am lucky to have a supportive boyfriend who I currently make more money than, but can count on to cover some of my share of bills for a while. I have committed to always having funds to pay rent (my half of rent is $9,300/yr and I can tap into funds totaling ~$20k). I was never privileged enough to have my parents regularly fund my education or housing, but talk to family about your situation. Can they loan you a month or two of rent if needed? Can they drop off some food to cut down on costs? Rely on your support system - it's OK to ask for help as long as you are doing the right things to help yourself and are clear and communicating consistently.
I am restricting my spending habits, I have ensured I have everything I need at the moment and do not have major expenses, and have never felt so sure about a decision in my life.
One thing I will note is that I am lucky to be in NYC and do not need to/care to drive, so if you have a car I would make extra plans regarding how you can fund the maintenance that a car requires.
If you're like me and are *over* the end of your rope, putting these plans in place now will save you for the next time you feel like just walking out of the door but can't because of financial obligations. Having the plan in place also means tying any loose ends at work that you are responsible for, because while you may be miserable, you should NEVER burn a bridge and always give appropriate notice (in my beliefs anyway). If I was about to be homeless, I would call up my current employer and try to get a retail banking job back, and I wouldn't have that option if I up and left in smoke.
However, one thing is for sure: I cannot wait for the day when I give my two weeks. And when asked where I found a job, I can't wait for the look on their face when I reveal that I haven't found a new job - I have found myself.
We are in this together. Burnout is real and it can impact every single part of your life.
The good news: This is your space to share, connect, learn and lean on other women who have been where you are and are ready, willing, and able to help you get where you want to be.
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