The White flag of job search
I am posting anonymously due to my shame about how I got to this point in my life. If inappropriate, please remove it.
This week I am having my AARP birthday. My last two positions in the previous three years have been unmotivated and mentally draining. I come in excited and ready to work, then after a few months, I lose interest and give up when i asked for work and sit around doing nothing.
In my prior position to this, the PM didn't like me and gave all the work to the other coordinator. I did speak to my agency and asked for a new role. The answer was they would look out and be patient. There were roles similar to mine, and yet I wasn't what the client was looking for when asked to be submitted. From that answer, I believed my credibility for my current assignment and agency had been blackballed.
The newest where i asked for work to assist, but no avail yet speaking about behind my back.
The last few days, I realized how much damage i did by giving up. I am ashamed and worried that at my age and the latest performance, I wouldn’t even consider hiring myself.
It is like how can I reinvent myself with no contacts or references. I am reaching out; it is disappointing how much damage I did by losing touch with my network.
Thank you and apologies also if incoherent in any aspect.
Thank you for sharing and showing up so authentically. Trust you are exactly where you need to be right at this moment. Perhaps, if only to give you clarity that this is no longer the place for you. Or perhaps to write the greatest comeback story ever. Listen to your feelings, they are messengers, but don't believe everything your thoughts are telling you. Look for the deeper message.
"I am ashamed and worried that at my age and the latest performance, I wouldn’t even consider hiring myself."
Reframe: I am ready to reinvent myself. I am ready for something new. I am ready to reclaim my vigor and passion. I am ready to celebrate a renewed sense self worth. I am ready to find me again!
Agreed. Some time to get clarity regarding what really brings motivation to your life relative to the work you do. Create a list of things you enjoy, are very good at, and can result in getting paid. I love the inspiring stories where reinvention takes place and someone excels at a totally new career.
I also enjoy reading how one transforms their lives
Thank you for your vulnerability in sharing and courage in reaching out. It is never too late to reinvent yourself or come back into alignment pursuing your hopes and dreams. It can be helpful to focus on self care and introspection to see what it is that will truly inspire you to move forward and excel with the skills and service you are here to express in the world. I'm delighted to support you however I can :).
I am grateful for the supportive words and I am ready to begin again :)