CommunityJobsAdviceEventsReviewsFor EmployersFor ClientsCoach Connect
CommunityJobsAdviceEvents
Burnout Survival header image
Burnout Survival logo

Burnout Survival

To support, encourage and equip each other in preventing, surviving and thriving after burnout.

open group
Janet Scarborough CivitelliRomy NewmanEmMadam DigitalMadam summer21031.8k members
Mystery Woman
Tell us more for better jobs, advice
and connections
YOUR GROUPS
Discover and join groups with like-minded women who share your interests, profession, and lifestyle.
COMPANIES YOU FOLLOW
Get alerted when there are new employee reviews.
YOUR JOB ALERTS
Get notified when new jobs are posted.

Group Post

Rachel
star-svg
54
04/07/22 at 1:21AM UTC
in
Burnout Survival

How to ask your boss to reduce your hours without burning bridges?

I would really really need some advice on this topic. Last year, I relocated to the city where my Fiance lives. I lived in the same city for about 8 years, but temporarily moved interstate due to a management opportunity. We ended up having long distance relationship for a year. When I moved back here, I had two job offers and both work opportunities were extremely rare and dreamy to me. One job is to work in a Covid response team within the government. Another job is to consult a group of nursing homes and provide a range of medication management services. They are literally my dream jobs and I had no way to turn down any of them. Until today, I still hold no regret to have accepted both jobs, even though I have been working my ass off. I have been working in both jobs, plenty of time across 7 days a week. After 6 months of doing that, I am definitely worn out. I have had no time to walk my dog. I spent no time with my Fiance (Don't even think about planning a wedding). I have had no time to exercise. I have been eating out because I have had no time to cook. It has been a wake up call one day I fell asleep on my way home after work and nearly had a car accident. Therefore, I sincerely ask for advice on how to ask your boss to reduce my work hours without burning bridges of my dream job. Welcome any advice! :) Thanks in advance.

Share

Join the conversation...
Jenny
star-svg
219
09/18/23 at 12:23AM UTC
I've done that twice due to the high stress of health care and extremely low pay. My manager is very angry. She is ready to explode at all times. But you have to take care of your health and make no apologies for it. The more we feel guilty for basic rest that all humans need, the more we are ground down to the bone.
Titra G Hamilton
star-svg
136
Chief Growth Officer @ small, woman-owned biz
04/08/22 at 6:03PM UTC
I'd weigh the pros and cons of both jobs, pick the best one and resign from the other.
Rynn Strange
star-svg
218
04/07/22 at 5:12PM UTC (Edited)
It's time to carefully analyze the two jobs and compare so that you know which of them means more to you in terms of your values and career goals. In terms of work/life balance, there is none, and which of those will provide that for you while allowing you to meet financial goals and plan your wedding? By all means, ask your fiance to help, but unless you do some cutting back of your own, I doubt he will do that for long.
Anonymous
04/07/22 at 2PM UTC
Quit the covid job & tell them you need to focus on the other job. Why worry about burning bridges when you are so obviously hireable?
Anonymous
04/07/22 at 1:17PM UTC
Personally, while I know both are your dream jobs as you state it may be time to have a conversation and figure out which one will be your long term job. Most likely the employers need someone full time in each position and won't want two part time people doing the job. I would also like to point out while COVID is still an issue eventually it will become Endemic instead of pandemic. Will that job be eliminated anyway? (I am truly asking this because we don't know but its something to consider). Not saying wait that process out but something to consider when weighing your job options.
Rachel
star-svg
54
04/09/22 at 11:10PM UTC
Thank you for your response. The uncertainty of the continuity for the Covid job is a real concern. This is also the main reason why I have kept both jobs to begin with.
Anonymous
04/07/22 at 8:46AM UTC
There isn't enough information to give the best advice. But I wanted to comment because I had the same job. I worked for covid housing response part time and a government job in human services full time. 6 months after being fired I am not recovered. Mentally or physically. Will you be fired or slowly let go if you asked for reduced hours? What would be the worst thing that might happen? Depending on risk, I would be cautious. The only caveat is that I didn't leave either job because I was so devoted, I mean nun like devotion to my higher pursuits, to help prevent homelessness and help rape victims. I ended up homeless myself. PS. I've heard from my women friends that planning a wedding is a full time job. It might be necessary to make your fiance help more where he can.
Rachel
star-svg
54
04/09/22 at 11:25PM UTC (Edited)
I'm really sorry to hear about your situation. My past experience has proven to me, every time you leave a job, you will end up with a better job closer to what you want. What you want could be changing from time to time also. Financial security? Flexible work arrangement? Follow your passion? Constant challenge or stability?
Anonymous
04/10/22 at 8:09AM UTC
Asian hate is strong during covid and bias has gotten worse over time. I hope things improve but the reality is that that was my dream job and I exceled beyond imagination and the shit they put me through--including not training me.
Anonymous
04/07/22 at 3:10AM UTC
As a founder and CEO I would not be thrilled with someone reducing hours to work a different job, that said I'd ask how how best to solve the issue of my employee having to work a second job in the first place. It sounds like you accepted both because you wanted to not out of financial HAVE to. If i couldn't solve the issue of the 2nd job I would most likely have to look for someone who has the availability I needed.
Anonymous
04/07/22 at 3:01AM UTC
You had no way to turn either of them down? Yet now you are too worn out after 6 months to do either of them justice? I would have that very difficulty conversation asap and find some recommendations so you don't just leave a lack of coverage and help these programs transition. That is a professional responsibility. Draft a plan of how to cut back on your hours and still leave them staffed. Reach out to your network and find some worthy candidates to recommend and finally stay full time until you have ensured full program coverage then and only then do you reduce your hours. If you can't find suitable support staff then you'll need to step down and allow someone full time to take over. These programs need attention that you cannot provide.
Anonymous
04/07/22 at 2:06AM UTC
Do both companies know that you have been working two jobs? I'm assuming they are both full time? Honestly, it may not be sustainable to work both and you may want to consider choosing one to continue full time and perhaps offer yourself as a contractor for a few hours per week or month. What kind of life do you want to live is really the question here? Is your health and safety worth it? I hope you get to an answer soon before you end up ill or injured (or injuring someone else).
Rachel
star-svg
54
04/09/22 at 11:16PM UTC
Both jobs know that I have been working two jobs from the beginning. I'm working one of the two jobs as a contractor, another one as a full-time.
Back to group page

About this group

We are in this together. Burnout is real and it can impact every single part of your life. The good news: This is your space to share, connect, learn and lean on other women who have been where you are and are ready, willing, and able to help you get where you want to be. It can feel lonely. If you are a director, manager, or team leader you can't talk to your peers at work for fear of being seen as weak. You can't talk with your boss or leadership board because you ...Read more

Group rules

You're a good human who wants to do good in the world. So are the other humans here. As a member and participant, you agree to adhere to the group guidelines. Linked here: https://drive.google.com/open?id=11MYV2d9l1Wcs58WRVKGvd1LPTtlenSywbdU--giSDTE
icon
© 2025 Fairygodboss. All rights reserved.
  • about
  • careers
  • FAQs
  • privacy policy
  • terms & conditions
Our site uses cookies to improve your experience. Read More