2 years ago I was selected for my dream leadership role - a Director position with a leading software provider.
Today I am anxious, confidence is at an all time low, and my execution and leadership is lacking. I have never been here before and am bewildered. As GenX, I have the classic elderly parent support and college aged children sandwich challenge. I am trying to figure out how to step back from leadership to an Individual Contributor role to regroup and find my "why" again. Has anyone successfully traveled this path? If so, what did you do and what did you learn from the experience? Did you use company resources? Or did you identify outside private services?
Renee Pollins
Executive Coach, Strategy, Program Facilitation
22
10/25/21 at 5:39PM UTC
I don't know if you're still dealing with this but I just read it and I can totally relate. I'm also in the sandwich of college and older parents. ...I wonder about the culture/environment you're in, and/or if you're expected to produce aggressive goals that no one could produce or you just can't right now.
I worked for a company for 20 years and I thrived like crazy for most of those years. The last few years though were really rough - I lost my confidence and felt like I was losing myself. I left and it took me a while to realize that it wasn't me - the culture had changed and because I was so in it and had done well for so many years, I couldn't see it until I was out of it.
FWIW, I write a blog post about my own experience of losing my confidence during that time: https://www.reneepollins.com/blog/leading-a-life-you-love
I also write a confidence-giving and informative weekly newsletter for mid-career women leaders if it sounds like it could be helpful: https://www.reneepollins.com/newsletter
Best of luck!
Michelle VerquerAuthentic Leadership Development Specialist
425
08/23/21 at 12:19PM UTC
That sounds like a tough situation. Leading people is much more challenging than people realize and many companies still do not provide the development opportunities needed to help people transition and excel. Were you offered any coaching or training? Personal assessment?
Good news is that you are not alone! Many women choose to pivot in their careers because of life situations or because they realized they were doing work others thought they would be good at but in reality it was not what they wanted.
First, give yourself grace and know you have many gifts to share. Next, give yourself space to determine a strong vision and understand your baseline. What strengths can you lean into? What are some areas to grow to help you excel? In this process, read, research and find good unbiased support. I invested in a career coach. There are many to choose!
Good luck to you!
Anonymous
08/22/21 at 9:04PM UTC
Honestly it sounds like burnout. So you are wise to step back and conserve your energy and make room for all that is on your plate.
I would definitely draft a plan and share it with your manager. Cut back on meetings and choose someone beneath you that could be groomed to step into the leadership position.
I navigated something similar a while back and moved to a contractor role to allow me the flexibility to attend to other areas of my life but still being a resource to my team and the new leader. I worked with an outside therapist to help me sort through my challenges and gain clarity in priorities. It helped me ask the right questions and avoid that dreaded guilt of feelings of failing.
I later went back to full time employment when my life was at a better place to manage. I kept the flexibility in my schedule since I learned that I work better with less structure. I need to go with the flow and not try and fit things into a set schedule.
Elizabeth Berke Valencia
20
08/25/21 at 12:30PM UTC
Thank you!
Elizabeth Berke Valencia
20
08/25/21 at 12:29PM UTC
It’s definitely burn out. Talked w my manager yesterday to let him know what was happening and what I am doing to support myself- I meet w a leadership coach this morning - haven’t had great luck with therapists, yet. Thank you for sharing your insights and experience with me!
