Ladies- I am just about to call it quits at my job.
I need help to rework my thoughts and not let this get the best of me.
long story short I have a wonderful- not so wonderful colleague. Since day one she has made it clear that she did not like me. “I have always had my office to myself and now I have to share”-
little comments such the one above are just the start!
unfortunately she trained me. Throughout the process she would leave information that would make the task easier out. Instead of telling me where I can locate an excel she would print the information and have me type it in. When I would ask her question she would either delay the response, tell me I would figure it out or not answer at all.
The frustration was endless. Yet, I kept trying my best. With covid we were all relived in that we began to work from home part time. Our exchanges at the office were almost down to zero.
fast forward to today, we are to work together to process documents and have them complete twice a month.
When we have joint tasks that involve deadlines she lags. In other words, she takes her time to reply to messages, etc. at the end of the day I am frantically trying to call the contractors, finish the invoices etc. On several occasions I have asked her to please allow time so that we can effectively complete the transfer of documents. Nothing has happened.
I took it up to our supervisor who agreed that something had to be done and set up a meeting to discuss how we can implement betters ways with the process.
We had a meeting and and my coworker Commented that I needed to evolve as we are no longer seeing contractors in person, we are doing things virtually and that I needed to not seek approval for invoices. In other words not for her for the approval.
When I heard this, it irritated me because all along (since day-one )she said that she needed to approve everything before it went to the contractors.
So I bounced back and said that I was not told to make a unilateral decision.
I honestly feel that I came off strong but would like your input as I will be speaking to our supervisor next Friday. I want to give him a background and explain myself.
Jackie Ruka
ProfessionalHappyologist Thrive in your purpose.
2.72k
04/10/21 at 1:29AM UTC
She sounds unhappy and is projecting it on you.
Plus lacks being a team player. She sounds resentful of you or the job tasks are beneath her. Either way, you require steak player and better method of communication.
RachaelHigher education admin
22
03/29/21 at 5:41PM UTC
I arrived 15 minutes early for an interview that was at the top of the morning. The office doors were locked but were also glass and I could see someone standing behind one of the desks but she didn't look up when I knocked. I called the number of the person I'd arranged the interview with and she told me they should be open by now and came to get me. She then told me that the woman at the desk who I saw through the door was also an applicant for the position. Well, that's all I needed to know.
There are two current colleagues that come to mind who have done and continue to do the same thing. Even had to get a Union rep to back me up in one situation. I feel for you, truly. The only advice I can give is - and it will mean you have to do more because of others - to document everything from a facts only perspective and keep the logs to yourself for now, and remember it's about THEM not about YOU! Meanwhile, look for a different job.
Aurora Jacobins
123
03/29/21 at 9:57PM UTC
Thank you.
I wish we had HR to go to but it’s a family business.
The owner is almost always gone due to covid. The next line of supervisors are the ones who we can go to for issues.
Unfortunately it seems like many of them do not want to rock the boat- they want to placate both sides- to which, I don’t see how or why?
I’m not here to have a team on my side, I’m here to state my problem and have it resolved.
A few months back a supervisor told me that, sometimes it’s our delivery - people misunderstand or we misunderstand. He also said that we need to pay close attention how we address people as if it’s my fault.
I walked away thinking - maybe I’m the problem?!
Maybe I am making these mistakes and just maybe, I am the only one making the mistakes!
I also felt as if he was on her side.
It’s frustrating
Andrea WhittingtonMarketing/branding pro transitioning to UX/UI.
35
03/29/21 at 3:48PM UTC
Hello. Breathe - lol. We have all been there. The good news - you are in control of your emotions and the response you provide. Similar to some other folks, my suggestion would be that you provide hard proof of the challenges. I would focus on issues that are the most "strategic" for the business (bottlenecks for payments etc.) -- this way they have a greater chance of being taken seriously. State the issue, state how you were originally told to handle it by your "trainer", and then state your idealized way to handle it. I've found this approach very helpful in my work roles. Bottomline, you are presenting the solution in a way that allows you -- and the company -- to be most successful. And then perhaps, you can bundle the other "personal" issues into another category under the umbrella of "interpersonal communication". At the end of the day, life is short and we should all be working collaboratively to make it easier for all of us -- especially after something like a pandemic. Stay calm, prepare your notes incase your manager wants a copy for their records etc. My personal tip, less is more. Be mindful of what you say. We don't want this to unravel into a bxxxh-fest. And in the end, a little empathy goes a long way. For example, "I know it has presented Sally with some challenges when we had to share and office, and now virtually we are all under a lot of stress to adapt, but I really just want things to go smoothly for all of us". It can be sincere and might help to calm emotions down. I've found "tone" to be very helpful -- and yes, I found this out the hard way. If you need folks to rant to, come back on this platform or call up one of your friends. But stay professional and if all else fails, look for something else in the company, or outside as a last resort. You got this - you can do it. ;)
Aurora Jacobins
123
03/29/21 at 9:52PM UTC (Edited)
Thank you so much.
I just don’t understand why people are this way.
Another colleague mentioned to me that this woman carried herself as being very ‘detailed’ oriented but also had slight episodes of having a control issue -
I agree with him as she is able to point out the slightest errors which is great- but exhausting because she also fails to recognize when she makes the errors.
Much to think about. Today we had to go into the office and while pouring coffee our other supervisor came by- we had small talk.
The supervisor knows well of my situation and asked how things are- working from home etc.
I couldn’t help but make a mention - he turned around and said that he sensed abrasiveness too.
I’m at a loss
Roberta SchmidtTalent Acquisition in North America
118
03/29/21 at 1:14PM UTC
I agree with the other comment from Donna. Keep conversations factual and bring documentation. Tell your supervisor you are confused by conflicting instructions and need clarity in order to be fully efficient at your job.
Good luck!
Aurora Jacobins
123
03/29/21 at 9:42PM UTC
Thank you. Hopefully all resolves.
Donna LuporiCOO
218
03/29/21 at 12:39PM UTC
I am sorry this is happening to you. Fully explain everything to your supervisor and provide supporting examples, if possible. I’d keep it factual, but explain to him how her lack of help, assistance etc is impeding the process. Don’t complain, just provide the facts, and bring solutions to the discussion; not just things she could do differently, but things you could change as well in order to be more efficient. Best of luck!
Aurora Jacobins
123
03/29/21 at 9:42PM UTC
Thank you. I moved my meeting with my supervisor and will provide facts.
I appreciate your help.
