Join our discussion about how to manage clients and work/life balance at the same time.
How to build your client base, and break the mold in this evolving industry.
I've been working in a business development role that involves a lot of nights out with clients. But now I'm pregnant and I'm afraid that I won't be able to - or want - to be out entertaining clients at night once the baby comes. Do I need to find a different job? What have others in my situation done?
I think you shouldn't worry too much in advance -- different women experience different things after a baby is born. Unless you an interview now, I think it's just a waste of emotional energy...see how you feel after maternity leave before deciding to make a move.
You can certainly still continue to go out for a meal and have a fizzy water! I am sure that you will be excused as tummy gets bigger that you are not able to stay as late as you normally would and people will understand completely but appreciate the gesture that you made the effort to come. I think as women, we do over analyse the situation sometimes and make it an issue when it doesn't have to be. Enjoy your pregnancy, enjoy the dinner out paid by work and your clients/colleagues. Once baby is out, it's a different adventure indeed that those nights you were out, you'd appreciate them for what they were.
Hello - when did you all decide to go on maternity leave? Trying to figure out whether to stay until I basically give birth to max out my mat leave or to take it easy the last couple weeks before my EDD...I'm a little bit worried about going to labor in a mtg!
With my first I was working from home the day I went into labor and worked until i couldn't work any more and left for the hospital. With my second I was induced and took advantage of the hospital wifi to work until I didn't want to. In both cases, I was grateful for the distraction during the early parts of labor. And I was glad for the extra days of paid leave (and not having to pay for child care) on the other end! Another friend tried to take a week off before but ended up not going into labor until 42 weeks. I think she regrets not saving her paid leave!
I went into labor 15 days before my due date and my water broke at work. It was so embarrassing. If you can work from home before your due date, that's the best.
Is it possible to telecommute for the last few weeks? I had the same concern but didn't want to use any maternity leave, so I was able to negotiate a flexible work environment (aka work from home) so I was comfortable physically and mentally. And I was actually able to get more work done, so my manager was happy!
Day before I delivered for my first, and two days before my scheduled C-section on my second. You will want to save all your leave for when the baby arrives.
I agree you should save the time to be with your baby. You'll be glad you did.
I'm interested in becoming a consultant but all the job descriptions seem to come with these insane travel requirements. How do people get a consulting job that allows them to not constantly be on a plane? Is that something you only earn the right to do after you've done a travel gig?
Some consulting companies have a bigger travel focus than others. As others have mentioned, there are smaller consulting companies that focus more on state/local business - Slalom Consulting is one I've worked for in the past.
Consulting firms have all kinds of roles and models these days. If you have a strong background, they will probably find a way to accommodate you that minimizes travel. Be clear from the beginning that it's important to you.
There are some firms that have more of a local footprint/model. Point B, in particular, stands out but there are others. In my experience, traveling has been a necessary (but surprisingly fulfilling) part of the job. I have met people and worked in cities that I would have never encountered otherwise. I will say that if you live in a bigger city (LA, Chicago, NYC) there is often more local work than if you live in a smaller city so take that into account when choosing a living location.
I'm still in school and would like to start my career as an FA on the best foot -- Which of these companies is the best places to go? Are there any real differences? Trying to choose on whether to target one of these companies more than another: Edward Jones, Morgan Stanley Smith Barney, and UBS
What do you do at work when someone older and wiser outmaneuvers you for their own benefit?
Sit down with someone you trust and use the fresh perspective to reframe the situation to your advantage: often times, when someone attempts to use you for their own benefit, they're relying on your abilities to do good work. Make sure you add their "success" as a win in your column: "I spearheaded this project for [Manager So-and-so], and it led to [this great outcome for him/her]." This behavior is often passive-aggressive, and when someone confirms your participation in this successful project, the Manager will usually be so surprised that you dared to highlight your involvement that they will just confirm your participation without thinking.
If it is men, then follow their lead and get the duties done and over with. Overtime, they will understand the work ethics for females. Don't be too naive and besides men think we are too naive anyways. Just be honest and be yourself. If it gets our of hand, ask a female supervisor to separate you to be with women.
Learn from the experience!
Hi all - I'm in a bit of sticky situation. I just found out I'm pregnant yesterday and am expecting a job offer in the next 24-48 hours. The company I'd be joining offers 16 weeks of paid maternity leave for mothers who have been at the company for at least 1 year. We know that FMLA covers 12 weeks of unpaid leave for mothers who have been a the company for at least 1 year. So, given that I'd be giving birth before one year, I'm concerned that not only will I be entitled to no maternity leave whatsoever (paid or unpaid) but I could be in jeopardy of the company not holding my position for me. So my questions are:
- Would I need to take disability in order to pull together some sort of maternity leave for myself?
- Am I crazy to even take this job? I don't like my current position but I am comfortable and would be entitled to 12 weeks of paid leave here.
Husband thinks job happiness is critical and is encouraging me to take the job if I get the offer. He is confident we can figure out the maternity leave piece of things and make it work - and thinks that in NYC it's highly unlikely that a big, female-friendly company would not hold my position.
What do you think? Super anxious about this! I suppose if I do get an offer I need to ask at that point for more details on the mat leave policy (without giving away that I'm pregnant) so that I can figure out if *perhaps* they do offer some leave to women who have been at the company for less than one year.
This would be a great position and really advance my career so the timing is a real bummer.
Thanks for your insight!
That's great! Good luck and don't forget that when the time comes, you can always try to negotiate for mat leave (something I wish I had done b/c even if they say no, it's not a hard-and-fast rule as so many people assume)
Thank you so much for your insight. I got an offer today and asked about mat leave policies. Seems like my friend who works there who told me they provide 16 weeks paid was misinformed. They simply offer 4 weeks paid on top of FMLA (with the usual 6 weeks of disability for vaginal birth / 8 weeks for c-section, and the ability to use vacation to add onto the mat leave). Sounds fairly typical of large corporations. The HR person did say they have been flexible in honoring FMLA for employees who have been at the company for under one year--so that sounded very promising.
If your new employer really does offer 16 weeks paid leave for moms who have been there one year, my guess is that there is a high likelihood they will make an exception for you b/c they are on the spectrum of employers that are generous about paid leave. Of course there is no guarantee but it seems to be in the "spirit" of the rule (esp since you literally just found out you were pregnant). IMO, short-term disability is def an option if you'er really worreid about pay for your leave and you are not crazy to take a job you like more than your current one (I tend to agree with your husband but i'm a work-gives-life-meaning-kind of gal). I think your idea of asking about benefits / maternity leave policy is a good one and I would even consider going a step further and possibly share the news if you'er comfortable...whether that's at month 3 or whatever point you want. I also think you can just ask about it as a new starter without any of those assumptions, b/c it's becoming more acceptable for women to ask those quetsions about policies. Good luck!
What career advice would you give to your younger self?
Take more changes. Do not settle. Promote yourself and your abilities. .Position yourself so you are just as marketable at age 30 as age 50 +. Businesses can be age biased.
My advice is "don't ask, don't get" - if you want something, ask for it and don't be afraid to tell your boss why you should deserve it.
So much advice, so little timeâ€¦apart from telling my younger self to buy that tiny, flea infested flat in a murky corner of London because one day it would be worth a fortune I would say charm and a poker face can be incredibly powerful in the workplace. I was probably too full of emotion and impatience when younger, I moved from one job to the next thinking this would be â€˜itâ€™ and of course never really got anywhere for a long time as I simply wasnâ€™t putting in the time in one place for people to get to know me or develop me so that I could work out what the â€˜this is itâ€™ job was.
A poker face is very underestimated at work, Iâ€™m not suggesting we all need to supress our emotions, but I was too good at expressing my thoughts and feelings rather than staying professionally neutral to colleagues and I suspect this held me back at times.
I'd tell myself to pay attention to the things I enjoy doing in internships, college organizations, and those first jobs right out of college. Those are the things I'll get better at throughout my career, if I allow it.
I'd tell myself to ask "Ok, then when?" after someone responds "Maybe at another time," when I ask to take on something new.
I'd tell myself to take all my vacation days.
I'd tell myself to invite more senior colleagues to lunch, and not assume that they're busy or that I'd bore them.
I'd tell myself to be myself, and chase the things that fulfill me.
1. Always negotiate. Always.
One of the main reasons women are paid less than men is that they don't ask. It is your DUTY to negotiate and get the best compensation you possibly can.
2. Invest in learning new (valuable) skills
Take full advantage of any career development opportunities and skill-building courses available to you in every job. Many employers will pay to train you, but even if they won't or can't, you should formally invest in yourself and your growth. When I graduated from college, I thought my learning was done--I could not have been more wrong! It pays to be constantly leveling up your skillset, both in terms of advancing in your current position and giving you leverage should you choose to seek a new position.
3. Life is happening now, do not put off important experiences until you "make it"
Dreaming of going part-time or striking out on your own? Want to work in another country? Thinking of having children? Don't wait until the perfect moment in your career comes up--there is no perfect moment. Do it now, don't wait or you may find those options are no longer available to you. That said, thoroughly investigate the ramifications of each decision so you know what you're getting in to and that you really want what you think you want.
4. Take care of your body, it needs to last you a lifetime
You know what you should do--the quality of your life, now and forever, depends on you finding a way to actually incorporate healthy habits into your life.
5. Get Organized and create systems to help you stay on top of your tasks
You can create so much focus and alleviate so much stress with reliable systems to keep yourself and your tasks organized. Learning this skill will pay off again and again as you move up the ladder and your family responsibilities grow.
- Katie @ "http://momhabits.com"
I'm pretty sure that the men who sit near the lactation room can hear me pump. I don't really care...but is it in bad form? Is it bad for my career?
At some point you have to stop worrying about things like this -- you want to pump, you want to work and I think there's not a lot you can do about what people think. That said, you can ask your HR dept whether there is a more discreet place for pumping or whether they have considered the fact that what you do is within earshot of others...I think this is feedback that they would appreciate having if they are a supportive group of working moms.
I had to stop breastfeeding my baby after 6 months because it was so hard for me to pump at work. Between a difficult manager, bad lactation facilities, and a heavy travel schedule, my milk dried up. I feel so sad -- like I've already let my baby down.
Don't be so hard on yourself!! You did your best and remember, in a few years your healthy toddler (and you) will probably think of htis time as a distant memory. That doesn't feel like much consolation now but trust me, it does get easier and the fact that you care so much means you're not letting your baby down
I had a similar experience. Pumping is just the worst. And that bag is so heavy.
My significant other is in the military and is stationed on the east coast, while I am currently in the Midwest. My company says they are flexible with working remote options, but I'm not sure of how to ask for one week remote a month to spend time with him. I would like to gradually build that up before he deploys so I can see him and maintain my job but I'm nervous to ask because I'm not married so I'm not sure if they would see that is a good reason. I always work longer hours when I'm remote and am more productive but the perception from colleagues is not positive of remote workers. How should I frame up the request to hr and manage colleagues who have comments?
Good idea to start the arrangement now. Leave out your "why" and get approval based on the merits of the business proposal. Present remote work as a business strategy that benefits them. (Double-digit productivity increases are typical.) Get more strategies at "http://www.workoptions.com/flexible-work" under the Telecommuting heading.