10 Signs of Gaslighting at Work—and How to Deal with It

Have you ever experienced gaslighting? Maybe you have, maybe you haven’t—or maybe you’ve been through it without even realizing.

Picture this: You’re confident in a project, only to be told you’re “misunderstanding” or “overreacting.” When gaslighting enters the workplace, it subtly undermines confidence and self-assurance—often targeting women. These interactions can gradually lead you to doubt your own skills and perceptions. 

Recognizing early signs of gaslighting can help you regain control, protect your mental well-being, and foster clarity in an environment that should support growth, not confusion. We’ll cover all you need to know.

Gaslighting: Meaning

The term gaslighting originates from the 1938 play Gas Light by British playwright Patrick Hamilton, later adapted into a film. In the story, a husband manipulates his wife by subtly altering their home environment, such as dimming the gas lights, while denying any changes to make her question her sanity.

Since then, “gaslighting” has come to describe a psychological manipulation tactic where one person distorts facts, denies reality, or undermines another’s perceptions to make them doubt their judgment. In the workplace, gaslighting often manifests in subtle ways that erode confidence and clarity, leaving the target feeling unbalanced and insecure.

The impact of gaslighting at work

The effects of gaslighting at work run deep, impacting both mental health and career performance. “Gaslighting can lead to significant stress, anxiety, and a decline in self-esteem,” says Michelle English, licensed clinical social worker (LCSW), and co-founder of Healthy Life Recovery. 

If unaddressed, these issues can escalate into depression or anxiety disorders. Professionally, gaslighting often leads to lower productivity, reduced motivation, and frequent absenteeism as constant self-doubt takes a toll. These impacts highlight the need to address gaslighting early to protect both mental health and career stability.

10 signs of gaslighting at work

Gaslighting at work often reveals itself through subtle comments or actions that gradually make employees question their perceptions and abilities. 

“Common signs include being consistently undermined, having your achievements downplayed, being blamed for issues you didn't cause, receiving contradictory information, and feeling confused or self-doubt after interactions with certain colleagues,” English says.

We’ll break down 10 signs that you might be experiencing gaslighting at work.

1. Stereotypes are used against you

Imagine receiving feedback veiled in stereotypes, like “women tend to be emotional” or “younger employees often miss details.” These assumptions, not based on evidence, can undermine your abilities, making you question your competence.

2. Your concerns are downplayed

If you raise valid concerns about workload, projects, or team dynamics and are told you’re “making a big deal” or “overreacting,” it can lead you to doubt the legitimacy of your concerns and hesitate to speak up.

3. Past events are distorted

You might recall a clear project directive or agreement, yet your manager or colleague insists that the conversation never happened or that you misunderstood. This tactic can make you question your memory, ultimately leaving you feeling disoriented and unsure about your understanding of basic tasks.

4. Your emotions are invalidated

Expressing frustration or stress may be met with “You’re too sensitive” or “It’s not that serious.” This dismissal shifts focus to your reaction instead of the issue, making you question the validity of your feelings.

5. Blame is shifted on you

In this scenario, whenever a mistake or oversight occurs, you find yourself being blamed—even when it’s not within your control. You might be told you “should have known better” or “missed something obvious,” making you constantly feel responsible for others’ errors and doubt your attention to detail.

6. Your achievements are minimized

A colleague or manager may downplay your success by suggesting it was a “group effort” or “just a lucky break.” This erodes your sense of accomplishment and leaves you questioning your contributions.

7. Information is deliberately withheld

You may notice you’re consistently left out of important meetings or updates, only to be blamed later for not being “in the loop.” This tactic leaves you struggling to keep up, creating a cycle of confusion and self-doubt as you try to compensate for the missing information.

8. Feedback is inconsistent

One day you’re praised for a task, the next you’re criticized for doing the same. This inconsistency creates instability, making you feel you’re always on the verge of error despite following previous guidance.

9. You’re unfairly compared to others

Another sign of gaslighting at work can be comparing your performance to that of others with comments like, “Everyone else manages this just fine,” or “Others have no problem with this.” This can make you feel like you’re the only one struggling, creating doubt about your abilities and fostering isolation.

10. Accountability is deflected

When you address an issue, a gaslighter may avoid responsibility with, “You must have misunderstood.” This deflection leaves you questioning your memory and understanding of key details.

If you recognize these patterns, it may be a sign you’re experiencing gaslighting.

The gaslighter’s vocabulary: Common phrases to be aware of

Beyond overly manipulative behavior, certain everyday phrases can also be red flags for gaslighting. These phrases may seem harmless at first but carry a manipulative undertone that gradually undermines self-assurance. Recognizing these expressions in daily interactions helps you address the behavior before it erodes your confidence and well-being.

Here are some common phrases that signal gaslighting behavior in the workplace:

• You’re remembering that wrong. That’s not what happened.

• You’re being too sensitive; it was just a joke.

• I never said that—you must be confused.

• No one else has an issue with this; it’s just you.

• You’re overreacting. It’s not that big a deal.

• I’m only trying to help. You just don’t understand.

• You’re imagining things. I would never do that.

• You’re blowing this way out of proportion—everyone else is fine with it.

• If you can’t handle it, maybe this job isn’t for you.

• I think you just need a break—you’re clearly too stressed to see things clearly.

How to deal with gaslighting at work

Dealing with gaslighting at work requires a combination of self-awareness, documentation, and assertive communication. 

Recognize the behavior

Learn to identify patterns of manipulation, like denying past statements or making you question your perception. Recognizing these behaviors is the first step in reducing their impact on your confidence.

Document everything

Keep a record of conversations, emails, and meetings where gaslighting might be happening. Having concrete documentation helps you stay grounded in facts and provides support if you need to escalate the issue.

Set clear boundaries

“Clearly define what behavior is unacceptable and communicate this,” English says. For example, if someone dismisses your concerns, calmly reaffirm your perspective and avoid getting drawn into circular arguments.

Seek outside perspectives

Talk to trusted colleagues, friends, or mentors to gain perspective on your experiences. They may confirm your feelings and provide support or guidance on navigating the situation.

Consider involving HR or a supervisor

If the gaslighting continues and affects your work, consider speaking with HR or a manager. Present your documented instances and express your concerns professionally.

Prioritize self-care

Gaslighting can be draining, so take time for self-care. Engage in activities that help you reset, like exercise or spending time with supportive people, to maintain your mental and emotional well-being. (Here are 13 self care tips for working women.)

Recognizing and responding to gaslighting at work empowers you to protect yourself from its impact, reinforcing your confidence and clarity in a challenging environment.

FAQs

What are some signs that I might be experiencing gaslighting at work?

Common signs include feeling confused about past events, being blamed for mistakes that aren’t yours, receiving inconsistent feedback, or being told you’re “too sensitive” or “overreacting.” If you often find yourself doubting your own memory or judgment, it could be gaslighting.

Are women more vulnerable to gaslighting in the workplace?

While anyone can be a target, women are often more frequently subjected to gaslighting. “This can be due to societal power dynamics and gender stereotypes that position them as more emotional or less authoritative,” English says. “In manipulative office cultures, these stereotypes can be exploited, creating a power imbalance that makes women more susceptible to gaslighting tactics.” 

How to confront a gaslighter?

“Confronting a gaslighter can be risky but sometimes necessary,” English says. If you decide to address the issue, prepare by documenting specific instances of gaslighting, focus on the behavior instead of personal attacks, and stay calm and composed. “Having a third party present, such as a trusted colleague or HR representative, can also support the conversation,” she says.

How can I protect my mental health if I’m experiencing gaslighting?

Prioritize self-care, establish boundaries, and seek support from trusted friends, family, or a mental health professional. Practicing mindfulness and engaging in stress-relief activities can also help you maintain balance. If these strategies aren’t enough, it may be time to evaluate the bigger picture. “If the environment remains toxic, consider your career options and look for a healthier work environment,” English advises.