discussion boards

  • I feel like my boss is not responsive or engaged in discussions about my career advancement. In my annual review, he was really flip - and it only lasted about 5 minutes. I really want to get promoted -- and I feel like I'm ready. Any suggestions about what I should do?

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    Tags: Career advice, Management issues
  • Hi everyone, I was on fmla over the summer (12 weeks). We have just received our annual merit increases and I was told my increase was pro-rated due to being out on FMLA. Our merit score is based on our annual performance reivew and meeting a list of goals that are determined at the first of the year. Prior to going out on leave, I had met all of my goals and received a positive review when I returned. I do not feel like I should be penalized for being out on FMLA. Does anyone know the laws associated with this or have any experience with this? Thanks so much!

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    Tags: Discrimination, Maternity leave
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    According to this article, it appears that if you met your goal and that was the basis for the merit increase/bonus, you should have received it whether or not you were out on FMLA leave. "http://www.fmlainsights.com/fmla-faq-is-an-employer-required-to-pay-a-prorated-amount-of-annual-bonus-after-employee-takes-fmla-leave/"
    Does that help? This is from an attorney's website so you might want to contact them for a free consultation...or maybe just show it to your manager / HR department and see if they will reconsider.

  • I’m 43 and feel out of touch with the latest social media trends. I mean, I have friends on Facebook and a LinkedIn profile but I don’t get Twitter and Instagram and Snapchat. I’m worried this will affect my chances of getting a job even though I don’t work in tech b/c I'm a marketer. Any thoughts on how social I need to be?

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    Tags: Career advice, Job search
  • Hello everyone. I'm trying to attend more tech conferences in 2017 but my budget just doesn't allow for a lot of it. Every event seems to cost a lot and I'd love to attend more. Does anyone have any suggestions or ideas for what conferences to attend that are more cost-effective as well as how to get discounted tickets anywhere?

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    Tags: Request for Help, Women in tech
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    Not sure where you live, but "https://collisionconf.com/" is reasonable.

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    One more thing! Conference sponsors and speakers often get discount codes that they can share, so reach out and ask them, or check their tweets.

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    If I knew your field, I might have some conferences to recommend; but I do have some general tips:

    * When you talk about your budget, I don't know if you mean work budget or personal budget. See if your company will pay!

    * Look for local meet-up groups. A lot of them are about job networking, but some of them have great speakers and discussions. It's like a mini-conference close to home.

    * For the conferences you can't go to, see if they are streaming some or all of their content. This is often free.

    * Have you ever thought about speaking? It's a great way to attend for free, share your knowledge, and get your name out there. Someone like you who's interested in keeping on top of what's going on in your field probably has insight to contribute, too!

  • Just to be totally honest: I am the breadwinner in my marriage. I feel like sometimes it causes a lot of friction. I also feel resentful because my husband still wants to be the main decision maker about family/household issues. Does anyone else have the same issues?

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    Tags: Other, Work-life balance
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    Someone already left a great suggestion on how to help. I'm offering validation for both you and your husband that our times have no roadmaps or role models for shifting gender roles. It can be extremely confusing if you were, for instance, brought up as I was to expect the man of the house to be the provider. Well, you can own the Provider role, but reinvent it too. You & your husband can distribute your house hold tasks according to your skills, for example. I too have been the major bread winner in my house but I am a lousy bookkeeper, so my husband does that. He checks the homework, I do the cooking. He plans outings, etc. Recognize and take advantage of your husband's talents & put them to use. Good luck & be a proud Provider

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    Sharing power is a problem is in my marriage, too - even though my husband and I generally make about the same amount of money (and I have far superior benefits!). Saving money is a priority when he decides it is. Early on in our marriage, he would show judgement on minor purchases I made - like soap or small souvenirs when traveling. I have consistently taken the approach of encouraging him to buy the things he decides he'd like to have - since we are both working and have the money to do so.

    I often have to point this out to him and he does get a little sheepish so I know he knows I am right. He grew up in a household where his dad was a Dr. and his mom stayed home - and his dad was terrible with money so he definitely has some issues.

    It's difficult in my situation because I do often feel I have to justify purchases to him which I hate, and that it seems that HIS feelings towards money and purchase decisions are always the most important.

    If you haven't read John Gottman's "The 7 Principles for Making Marriage Work"I highly recommend. His section on Accepting Influence was profound in its explanation and identification of power struggles. And the realization that this is common among men because they are trained by society at large to have, show, wield power made me feel much less alone. It has also given us an objective starting place for this discussion, which diffuses a lot of the tension.

    Hope this helps!

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    I'm in a similar situation - though slightly different in the sense that I want my husband to make some decisions and take certain actions when it comes to taking care of the family but he thinks that b/c I'm the breadwinner I should be the main decision-maker about this household matters too (when all I want to do is delegate like I do at work)! In my marriage we just had to talk it all out -- like literally write down who controlled the decisions in which domains and what things were joint decisions so we weren't operating under frustrating assumptions we had about what the other person should or shouldn't do (either b/c of gender roles or b/c of what jobs we had at work and what financial means we each have).

  • I believe that the common day to day issues of sexism (too small to call people out on) wear women down more than the big problems. I've also seen men (who were previously oblivious) become great advocates for women when these situations were pointed out to them.

    I am working on a virtual reality program, which share some of the common problems women run across, training the mind to recognize the problem. I'm looking for some of the common issues people run across. Personal experiences, research you've read, anything would be greatly appreciated! Either reply, or email: info@socialQVR.com

    VR has a huge potential for remapping neural training, and I want to make sure I'm drawing from the wealth of communal knowledge, not just my own experience.

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    Tags: Discrimination, Inappropriate situation, Women in tech
  • I just had my second child, and I'm hoping to go down to 3 days a week instead of 5 days. My boss said I'd have to take a pay cut -- so I'll only be making 60% of what I was making before. But that really doesn't seem fair to me because I know I'll be working at least some of the other days from home. Is a pay cut the only way to get a flex working arrangement? Has anyone successfully managed to reduce their hours without taking such a drastic pay cut? Thanks.

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    Tags: Flexible working
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    I work from home 100% of the time and I can confirm that when working from home I work more hours than I would if I were in the office (it's typical for me to do work between 10-12pm, for example). If it were me, I would discuss all the options fully before making a commitment based on 'days' alone. That is, you should set limits on hours and days, if going that route.

    Otherwise you may want to consider doing longer hours on fewer days, for instance, working a 40 hour week spread across 4 days. This seems more likely in terms of your 'real work hours' and shouldn't require a pay cut.

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    I'd negotiate clear work-from-home hours/expectations rather than agreeing that you will only work the 3 days at home, get paid only for those 3 days, and end up working for free when at home. Discuss specific tasks and responsibilities that do not require on-site presence, and technological solutions that will enable seamless working from home (e.g. VPN or other direct connection to your office network, call forwarding from your desk phone to your mobile, a laptop fully loaded with all the software you need). I have been working from home 1 day/week since returning from maternity leave and it has been great. It saves me a commute and for some tasks that require more concentration, it is actually more effective than being in the office.

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    If you can provide a decent estimated minimum of the number of hours you'll be working from home I would counter offer. So, say you estimate 2 hours on each day off, that's another 10% so it wouldn't be unreasonable to say, "based on x, y & z, I know I'll be putting in a minimum of 2 hours per day from home so it seems 70% of my salary would be more appropriate". This assumes of course that your salary is for a 40 hour work week. If you work more hours than that consistently I would demonstrate that to them on paper in a few months and request an appropriate increase. Right now it is going to be based on your promise because that's all you can offer to show you'll actually put in the time. Keep track of every hour you work from home for future negotiations as well as to keep your promise. Also keep in mind that using your home as an office permits certain deductions for expenses and even part of your utilities that you may not have had before and this may help with some additional take home pay next tax season. Good luck and remember it never hurts to ask!

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    A 60% paycut is drastic. However, at my current employer, the max amount of work from home days is 2 per week. Consulting companies like EY allows for up to 3 days of work from home but discretionary and may involve travel to other offices.

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    Before you consider taking any pay cut at all, please think carefully about how many hours you anticipate working whether at home or in the office. I've seen too many women take pro-rated salaries for working [what is, effectively] a full-time job. I've always urged my own staff coming back from maternity leave to come back and keep a detailed journal of work and hours for 4-6 weeks before discussing changing to a flexible work arrangement. If there is a need to reduce hours and pro-rate a salary based on hard evidence then that is fine - however, it is almost impossible to move in the other direction of the change is made too hastily.

  • How do I get a job at Apple? Every time I apply to a position I feel like my resume disappears in the "cloud".

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    Tags: Career advice, Networking, Women in tech
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    You may want to find someone who works there via linkedin and try to open the door via an informational meeting. You'll be better off with an internal advocate.

  • Can someone refer a third party st disability provider for pregnancy?

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    Tags: Maternity leave, Other
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    You should probably get quotes from all the major insurance providers and compare coverage/pricing/plans e.g. MetLife, State Farm, Aflac, etc. I don't think they should be majorly different from each other unfort

  • My employer just made a meaningful improvement to our maternity policy and I'd like to update my review to reflect it. How is this done?

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    Hello, the Fairygodboss team here. All you have to do is go to your company's benefit page and submit a tip / comment there, e.g. a page like this. You don't have to change your review: "https://fairygodboss.com/companies/benefits/accenture"

    If you have further questions, you can email info@fairygodboss.com

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