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Why you should leave a toxic enviroment asap?
Hi everyone, I hope you are doing great. I wanted to share something with you today.
I lost my job during COVID-19 as my company got bankrupt. Fortunately, I found another job in the same field of experience within 02 month. It was a blessing or so I thought. Less than a month into the job I realized this place is toxic. Bad behavior is tolerated & certain nationality is praised regardless of their achievments. I felt small the whole time, something I have never felt over the past 20 years, even when I started working in this field, I've never felt small or ignored or isolated. I tried to adapt & tried to make my way their. Tried my best to connect with others but it was so toxic that I could not trust anyone, including HR. It was sort of family business. I kept convencing myself that I can succeed in this place & for some reason I felt that I have no other choice other than acepting this situation & go with it.
Result is: over the years I started doubting myself & questioning my abilities. The worst was that I actually believed that I'm small, not enough & unworthy. I was depressed for a year, had deficulties doing the normal day to day taskes (leaving the bed, showering, brushing my teeth, clean my room, get food & groceries). Finally decided that enough is enough. I was applying for other jobs & finally I found one, different country & even lower salary but very potintial. I resigned & I cannot tell you how relieved I felt. I felt lighter, happier and hopful. I felt alive again. Although the situation with the new company was still not entirely clear but just sending this resignation e-mail, was enough to make me feel better.
My advise to you is not to stay in a toxic enviroment, I kept telling myself it is the job that pays the rent & that's it. I did not relaize the impact it had on me until I became the worst saddest version of myself. If you are in a toxic work enviroment right now, try hard to find another job & until you find one, please do not let it get into your head; you are strong, you are worthy, you are valuable even if no one tells you that, you are enough. If you've reached this far, I hope you find peace & to overcome any challange life throws at you & wish me luck <3