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Not the time to be making big life-altering decisions?
I caught up with a long-standing mentor of mine who I updated on how things in my career were going. I thought it would be just a regular catch up but I found myself really suddenly admitting to feeling burned out and exhausted and not particularly motivated. His first reaction was that this is an exhausting, historically difficult time and there is a lot going on at both home and work so that he thinks one shouldn't pursue too much change right now. He compared this to having a death of a loved one or going through a divorce. And he said that during his long career, there were actually many times he really hated his work and found many days to be a grind, even though the arc of the whole period was something he was proud of and felt good about. What do you think? It's the eve of the election so I'm feeling particularly frayed and wasn't expecting to be so emotional during our catchup. I have been thinking that this pandemic has really raised a lot of issues that I had been maybe ignoring but perhaps he's right that this is just not the right time.
Has anyone else here made major life decisions and changes or, conversely, avoided them during this pandemic/crisis?
Liz Wanic
Cyber Intel and Dection Fusion Advisor in NY
67
11/05/20 at 10:52PM UTC
Times like now can be the perfect opportunities to make a change as long as you think through your decision and know where you’re heading. When everything is already in flux, it’s sometimes better to follow that momentum than to cling onto something that you might not even want when all this is over. If you were thinking about making a change anyway, you should go for it.
Maree FrakesProgram Management Professional in NYC
55
11/04/20 at 10:29PM UTC
I don't really agree with the advice from your mentor that it's not a good time to make a change. In my opinion, 2020 is a great opportunity to take a risk on something new (assuming you feel financially comfortable to do so) - unemployment is high, and in the event the change doesn't work out I doubt anyone will look back on your work history and questioned what happened in 2020.
All of that being said, it would be smart to do the work of pinpointing what isn't working for you right now (perhaps work with a career or life coach), what a happier career would look like for you and what support and resources you need to have in place to take the leap. Good luck!
Jackie GhedineCoach for Gen X Women | Jack Russell of Humans
5.71k
11/04/20 at 1:10PM UTC
I'm a Gen Xer which means this is the 4th biggest life-altering experience in my adult life, 9/11, .com boom/bust, '08 and COVID.
I distinctly remember being emotionally frayed during each of these times, like every small thing was like sprinkling salt on a wound, it stung all the time.
This isn't to minimize your emotions or feelings and instead to open up your emotions to examine them. We are all working harder, we are all being pulled by our professional demands and our personal struggles and it's exhausting.
One of the most powerful things we can do for ourselves is to write down what we are doing, feeling, experiencing. This is a way to cleanse your mind and to put pen to paper around situations and circumstances that aren't working for us.
It may be a moment (long moment) in time or it may be the weight of it all on your shoulders at once and only you can do the self-discovery to figure it out.
Ask yourself some tough questions.
When did I start feeling this way?
What specificaly, is making me feel overstretched?
How have I cotnributed to my circumstances?
Do I go into every day with dread already, have I set up my emotional perspective before I even get started on my day?
This is a very tough time for so many of us. I understand and feel all that you are going through and wish you lots of luck.
Danielle WhiteIT Ops professional at large
57
11/04/20 at 3:29AM UTC
I was already out of work going into the pandemic so don't have that but I did get married for the second time during it (we had planned to since 2019 and ended up forgoing the ceremony to do common law instead.) I did start a new job last month and it has some differences than what I did before.
That said, I wished that I did in 2008-9. I was in a very bad job that had a period of a few months of demanding 90 hour weeks when a manager severely over-promised and underestimated the amount of work required on multiple projects. I stayed in it because of a lot of the "it's the wrong time to change anything" and being in a relationship with someone who so completely refused to ever build savings (which is to say, we'd be missing rent and credit card payments within days of losing my income.)
It's an incredibly difficult question because there can be a lot of factors.
Nora KasedManufacturer in San Diego
149
11/04/20 at 12:15AM UTC
Maybe you didn’t realize how you run down you felt until you shared your feelings with your friend. Sometimes these feelings build up and they are emotionally exhausting when you don’t take the time to acknowledge or process them. I’d suggest talking to a therapist to work through and process your experiences this past year. You would be surprised at how much it can help. When I take the time to process my issues, it’s like a burden has been lifted and I feel renewed.
Mandy TroutenEverything at www.mariese-skincare.com
765
11/03/20 at 11:55PM UTC
I think it's important to recognize the difference between facts and perspective. It is his perspective that now is not the time to make major changes, based on his experience and, apparently, his perception that you're just feeling this way because of the pandemic, election, etc. If your dissatisfaction is based primarily/entirely on the these things, then I would recommend taking a step back and looking at other options, while you take some opportunities to do fun/relaxing things; but, don't completely change careers. On the other hand, if your dissatisfaction is based on longer-lasting issues and you really just don't see this career being what you want, all the same applies, but with slightly more emphasis toward changing careers. There's always going to be someone who says that "now" is not the time to make major changes, whether it's today or 5 years from now. The biggest question to consider is whether it's the right time for you. After all, it's your career and your life.
I'm having a similar experience in my business. I've spent approximately 5 years now researching and developing my bath & body business--mostly without advertising money, without the support of relatives or friends, without happy customer reviews on customers' social media pages, etc. and, thus, without success. I've definitely been tempted to toss it all and just go apply in some minimum wage job that I will absolutely hate because I can't get hired in the graphic design field either--despite having a degree and some 15 years of experience. I don't have the "right" qualifications. I'm not quitting, though, because I also recognize that my products are awesome and there's too much potential there. Instead, I'm in the process of creating premade Canva-ready graphics to sell, along with an ebook on how to make great skincare products--full of comprehensive information that the average maker needs to know, without having to spend all the hours I am on researching.
Kamila PająkowskaSourcing & Recruitment Team Lead
16
11/03/20 at 11:16PM UTC
I think the pandemics showed us that we should reflect on our professional life more: try to identify what drives us, what we're passionate about and what's comfortable for us really (commuting or remote work? regular or flexible working hours?). It would be also good to ask the following questions: What are the communication channels we choose at work and how they influence our work relationships? How stable our positions and companies we work for are?
When we'll take all that into consideration I'm sure new ideas will come up and we'll be better at planning our career paths and future development.
If you feel scared to change jobs now, then don't. But think about your future next year. Where do you want to be in one year's time? In the same position and with the same company or not? Try to figure it out for yourself this year, write down the things you'd like to learn, start working on the skills that might help you obtain the dream position at the company of your choice. Use the time you have now to be successful later :)
Anonymous
11/04/20 at 8:04PM UTC (Edited)
The pandemic has caused all sorts of difficult and previously ignored issues to bubble to the surface. In that way it's helped to tease out what we really want to prioritize.
Agree it's a difficult time to consider taking on anything more, but it's also a good time to listen to your instincts, which for many of us are much more front and center these days. Away from the usual distractions we have to sit with what is.
Mostly, give yourself patience and grace as this time is so unusual that we hardly have adequate words to describe it.
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