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Work Life Balance
After being assigned to a new boss (previously reporting into the CEO as a manager), my boss had a 1:1 with me asking about my career goals and "what does work mean for you right now". I told him I'm looking to gain experience and work life balance. He seemed very receptive at the time and respected my career goals. He is a very driven worker, working 12+ hour days, working through lunch, and logging in on the weekends. Lately he's been making comments about me taking lunches and not working on the weekends. He says it's not an expectation, but then proceeds to expect me to do it. Recently, I was emailed over the weekend and I didn't see the email until Monday (and responded at 8:04am) and he was very upset. He called me and asked why I didn't check my emails over the weekend & I didn't really have a good response to that. I'm looking for some advice from the community on what to do from here. I like to consider myself a hard worker and driven, but now he's making me question my work ethic because I'm not clocked in 24/7.
Uzma Islam
An aspiring Chartered Accountant
36
08/14/20 at 10:57AM UTC
This is actually very sad. Your manager shouldn't impose his own work ethics on you, specially if the nature of your job isn't like that. Humans need some time to recharge. Otherwise, their productivity, efficiency and motivation to work is decreased. Maybe you can explain to him that your weekends are for you only, and if there's any important event coming up due to which you may have to work during some weekends, then you'll work extra if required. But normally, nope.
People cannot expect others to be like them and force them to adopt their work ethic and thinking style. And as a manager, he is supposed to help you recharge and increase your productivity and motivation, not decrease it.
Hope he gets that someday xx
KelleyHigher Education professional in Upstate NY
306
08/09/20 at 8:40PM UTC
This is a tough position to be in. However, work life balance is extremely important. (It seems this guy could actually take a lesson in that.) I would say a meeting to discuss what’s going on may be in order. See his true expectations and make it clear that you’re in need of proper balance (including your personal time on the weekends).
Meagan Harth
12
08/09/20 at 5:03AM UTC
I used to work from home. We had what called a (R.O.W.E) work environment which said you come an go as you please but you still get paid 40 hours. The goal: RESULTS oriented workplace and home life balance.....divorced mother of 4 we had the option to wake up and say "we are working from home today" or I have an appt ill be in at 12 but still checking email/working! I dedicated weekends/ vacation, etc only to just be laid off....I am a single mom of 4 so do not take for granted what you have! I worked night weekends around the clock and it still didnt save my job
Anonymous
08/07/20 at 12:16PM UTC
A few years ago I worked for a small company and there was a change in the CEO. His non-verbal expectation was everyone be "on call" 24/7. I say "non-verbal" because he was way too sharp to actually formally put in place anything that could get him in trouble for this. It was all unwritten, wink and a nod expectations. He hated employees who had young children (his kids were both in college). Anyway, long story short, he systematically found ways to either lay off or run off employees who didn't adjust and embrace this new existence where you were "owned" by the company. The board loved him because he raked in the money. Sometimes the rules of the game change so drastically, and will not go back, you realize it's time for you to stop playing that game and just move on. It's not fair, it's not right, but it's reality. If you try to put up healthy boundaries, and see it's not working, the game has changed.
Maxine DevlinCustomer Obsessed, Pressure Tested Sales Pro
14
08/06/20 at 7:32PM UTC
I hate the term "work/life balance". It sounds like trying to balance on the head of a pin. We need to change the narrative to work/life harmony. In other words, I'll gladly work a 60 hour week now and then - when it's truly needed and will be impactful - but not on the regular. If I need to work 50+ hours every week just to attempt to keep up, something is wrong at an operational level, not an individual level. Let him know you're happy to check in on weekends when there's a legitimate need. Do you have allies on your team? Is he possibly threatened by your relationship with the CEO? Might be helpful to know if he's this way with everyone or is singling you out. Good luck!
Anonymous
08/06/20 at 6:42PM UTC
Personal opinion here - Unless the job description or field someone works in requires you to be "on call 24/7" (or if a special project comes up that requires it), there is no need to be checking work emails on the weekend/on vacation.
I'm an Administrator and one time I was on vacation in New Zealand (I'm from that States) and someone texted me to tell me "the sandwiches for the meeting didn't arrive. what do we do?" I replied with "It's 7am here... I'm in a McDonald's in Wellington about to drive to the middle of nowhere to see Hobbiton. There are 3 other people at the office who can handle this." Since then, on my "away notice" I make it *very clear* that I'm not checking emails AT ALL and to only text/call me if A) the building exploded B) someone has passed away C) I got laid off. Work is work and vacation/weekend is MY TIME.
JoHannah T. HarringtonVP: Compliance, Data Protection & Gov't Regs
23
08/06/20 at 3:10PM UTC
This is a tough spot to be in for sure.
I echo the other advice that my fellow Fairygodbosses have provided. I would schedule a 1:1 with him to discuss what the expectations for response are (in general), how the communications should be, and the expectations for response on the weekends. I would note that if there is a true emergency for work that must be completed over the weekend, you should set up a triage system so that you know it is urgent (e.g. he should call your mobile so you are aware).
Finding that work/life balance is hard - I'm not great at it. I do set the expectations among my team and partners that I will not respond to an email after 10 pm (this was a problem in a previous position) and that I will browse emails on the weekends. If its urgent, they know to get a hold of me through other means.
Good luck!
Lydia GershmanIndependent Sales Representative
105
08/06/20 at 2:57PM UTC
I am trying to imagine what your job is that requires an immediate response 24/7. A friend was told she was expected to check emails and respond even when she was on vacation. That's not a vacation. That's working remotely. If there is an emergency, she could be reached by phone but she really needs to disconnect for at least a full week to unwind and get perspective. Vacations and weekends are important for mental health, to avoid burnout. A boss who expects 24/7/365 will see a decrease in creativity and productivity over time.
WendyRMCareer change hopeful.
292
08/06/20 at 2:45PM UTC
Honestly, I would have asked him why he expected me to check in over the weekend. Then I would have asked if he was going to compensate me for doing company work on my time. If he said no, then I would tell him that unless I get paid for working during non-work hours, these things can wait until I'm in the office. I would also mention that I need the time to decompress and take care of my family. Then I'd point out that it's not expected for me to work nonstop and on weekends. Ask him if the work you are doing is being done well and in a timely manner. Remind him that lunch breaks and time away from work help you be the best worker you can be. Find articles to support this arguement. (They are out there.) Then remind him that working nonstop 24/7 leads to burnout, weight gain, and chronic health problems. That by taking time to have a life it prevents you from exploding with frustration.
Anonymous
08/06/20 at 2:41PM UTC
If the overall company culture is one where everyone is working 12 hour days and you get paid way above market value, then I'm not surprised by his response. But, if the company culture is one where they respect work-life balance and believe their employees do better when they have personal time - then he's in the wrong and is going against corporate policy. I would chat with him about the value you provide in your regular working schedule and while you're happy to respond to an urgent phone call over the weekend, you prefer it not be the norm. If it continues - I'd be having a 2nd conversation with HR or with the CEO directly.
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